March 11, 2010

Power and Control...or a lack thereof

There is an age old question, or so I believe, about a BDSM type relationship...Who really has the control?  Does a Dom really have control or does he only have control to the extent or level that his submissive gives him, thereby really putting the submissive in control?  One could argue either side of this and also argue it for days.  It is not my intention to get into that aspect of this topic. 

When asked I simply say this...A Dom is nothing without a sub, he is just a man.  A submissive is nothing without a Dom, she is just a woman.  (Swap the genders around to meet your needs)  You can't have one without the other.  A Dominant without a submissive is Dominant of what?  Himself?  His space?  He is just a man with Dominant tendencies and personality.  With a heavy heart and deep sadness, this is where I currently find myself...just a man with the characteristics of who I am.

Although it was a very hard decision to make (grueling actually), due to recent family matters I had to end my current situation with my sub.  It was not due to her at all, and I hated to have to take such measures.  Yet, I had to release her from her obligations to me.  I could not give her the time and attention she needs and deserves, and could not give proper attention to the relationship.  I have too many other worries at the moment to be able to see to her needs and be able to concentrate on our relationship properly.  Therefore, she was set free to be able to try to continue her pursuit of who she is, and hopefully with a loving and caring dominant that meets her needs, is good to her, and can make her all she desires to become. 

I hope no one else ever has to endure such a situation, but I'm sure we all will at one time or another.  It is a gut wrenching experience, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  I do wish her all the best and hope she is able to find everything she deserves to have in a Dom.


  1. DV Sir,

    Its so hard when that happens. I'm sorry for you and sorry for her.


  2. Thank you for your concern. I appreciate your sincere thoughts!


  3. I am saddened to hear this but unfortunately life and circumstances create situations such as this. Good luck to your submissive in continuing her journey, I hope she finds someone as caring as you. Peace & strength to you during this turbulent time.