December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas...Sort of...

I wanted to take a minute and wish you all a Merry Christmas!  I realize I'm almost to late to the party, but better late than never.  I have been struck with the flu ever since Saturday night.  Woohoo...Merry Christmas to me!  Bah Humbug!!!  I rarely get sick, but when I do it always seems to be a knock-you-down and kick-your-ass kind of sickness.  This is no exception.  And on top of all that, we are dodging tornados left and right tonight.  WTF?!?!  At Christmas?  Tornados?

Alas, Christmas and Santa wasn't going to wait for DV to get better.  So, sick or not there were presents to wrap, Barbie Dream Houses to put together, and play kitchens to be assembled.  All was finished and accomplished just in the "St. Nick" of time.  (yeah I know that was bad...must be the fever)  The kiddo has had a great Christmas, though, and that made it all worthwhile.  Even if she is having to avoid Daddy and his flying globs of snot.

I wish the best of days to all of you and hope you had a a wonderful day with your friends and family.  In parting, I thought I would leave you with a little Christmas Ass, as my present to all of you who follow and read my little piece of the web.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


December 21, 2012

Donald Instructing His Sub (Friday Humor)

Did you know Donald Duck was into the bdsm lifestyle?  Did you know he was Dominant?  That he is a Daddy Dom?  Well, believe it or not he must be.  Here is an audio clip of Donald giving instructions to his sub...or at least that's how I like to envision it.  Enjoy!  LMAO!

December 20, 2012

When She Needs It Rough...

There are two quotes I have seen lately that I think are worth mentioning.

"When she says harder she means it!"
"When she says to be rough with her, then do it.  She will let you know when it gets too rough."

I think there is some truth to these statements.  This is especially true when it comes to D/s and bdsm.  I think there is some inherent roughness that is associated and a part of what we do in this lifestyle.  That doesn't mean being rough is always part of whatever play you are doing, as there are plenty of times we can be sensual and passionate as well.  The rough aspects could be in the form of rough sex, rough treatment, being manhandled, in giving or receiving pain, or any number of things.

For submissive women, it can be very difficult for them to ask for what they want or need, and particularly when that involves asking you to be rough or forceful.  So, when she does ask or mention it, and finds the wherewithal to bring it up to you as her Dominant, then you better believe she means it.  And yes...if you begin to go too far, she will let you know.

This isn't giving you a free ticket to go insane and unleash every ounce of fury you have on her.  Let's keep it in perspective.  But if she says "harder" in the middle of sex, then you better believe she wants it.  If she says "Be rough with me", then you better believe she means it.  It's what she needs to feel from you...your possession...your Dominance...your strength...your power.  I'm not suggesting you allow her to top from the bottom, but words such as these coming from her mouth should be a glaring clue to you as to how strongly she needs this.

As a Dominant, this can be a very fine line.  What is hard enough?  What is too hard?  What is too rough?  What can she take?  What can she not take from me?  This is where you have to know your submissive inside and out.  You have to base it on your experiences together and know what she can and can't take.  If you don't know, then take it slow.  Step it up a little at a time.  It's much better to not go far enough than to go too far.

Given this topic and post, I think it's a great time to mention safe words.  You should always have a safe word in place.  You may never need or use it, but the one time you do need it and it's not there?  Well, that won't be a good situation.  As a Dominant, you need to always heed to her safe word.  If she utters it, stop everything right then and there.  As a submissive, you have to understand that a safe word is not power or control or a way for you to not do something just because you don't like it.  A safe word is there for your safety and well being, and is to be used when you feel you can't take any more or your safety is in jeopardy.

I have found that most submissives will do all they can to not have to use their safe word.  They don't want to seem weak or feel like a disappointment to their Dominant.  They will withstand a great deal before ever considering using their safe word.  This doesn't mean a Dom should push her to use it.  This doesn't mean you should take her further than you think you should because you know she won't use her safe word.  Remember, she trusts and respects you as her Dominant, a man, and her intimate partner.  If you violate this trust and respect, it will be very hard to ever get it back.

Know you a sub, as a woman, and as a person.  Know how she thinks and what she needs.  Know her verbal cues and her body language.  Know what's going on in her head.    It's your duty to try and understand her better than anyone ever has...maybe even better than she knows herself.  This takes a lot of time and effort, but is well worth it.  It's much easier to be the Dominant she needs when you understand her emotions, thinking, and physical needs.  Try your best to be what she needs and expects of you.  This will enable and encourage her to be the best she can be, as well.

December 10, 2012

"I'm A Princess"...

I know how much all you ladies like being made to feel special and important.  Especially the little girl side of you all.  Let's face like to know we men see you as our little well you should be treated as such.  So, since I am on the "Big Bang Theory" kick, I thought I would throw this one out there for you, to give you a little more of our favorite couple...Sheldon and Amy.  Now this is how you make her feel like the princess she is...  (lol)

December 7, 2012

Spanking Goes Primetime... (So Funny)

One of my most favorite shows of all time is the sitcom "The Big Bang Theory".  It's the funniest show and it revolves around some twenty somethings, who are uber-smart geniuses, socially awkward, sci-fi junkie physicists and biologists.  If you have never watched it, I would recommend it for some really good humor.

Two of the people on the show, that play roles where they are way too smart for their own good, are in a relationship that is...well, awkward and mostly platonic for lack of understanding relationships.  Although the female (Amy) wants more, and the male (Sheldon) has no clue about even how to have a relationship on any level.  Apparently in last night new episode, there was some spanking involved for some bad behavior.  This is one of the funniest scenes I've seen on the show, and is a must least to me.

I couldn't find a way to embed the video, but the link is below.  Enjoy!

***Update...finally found it on youtube and embedded it.  :) ***

December 6, 2012

Cookie Baking For Dummies (For The Guys)

(This is a re-post of my cookie baking from last year.  Since I have gained a lot of new readers within last year that may not have seen this, I think it's worth a re-post for all the guys out there.  )

Welcome to DV's "Cookie Baking For Dummies"! A step-by-step guide to making cookies that are tasty and easy to make. I thought I would try to help all the guys as part of the Cookie Recipe Extravaganza.

Let's make one thing clear...DV LOVES cookies. I'm a big fan of cookies and like to eat and try the great creations of others. But let's face it...for a majority of guys, actually making cookies is not on the top of our list. That probably goes, at least for me it does, for any baking. As much as I enjoy eating, it's the consumption I enjoy, not the manufacturing. Isn't that why I have a wonderful female partner? So she can bake me cookies? ;)

So for all you guys out there that aren't that good at baking or cooking, this is the post for you. I'm going to make this real easy for you. If I can do it, any of you can do it. And I can promise you that your kids love when Dad does this...especially when they know you can't cook. It holds quite the entertainment value. LOL!

All you need is an oven, a cookie sheet, and a flat spatula (spatula not absolutely necessary). If you have a apron handy, put it will make you look cool and like you know what you're doing. Now...go to the store and buy this:

That's right... it's cookie dough that is completely ready to be baked and even comes in perforated squares. See...easy! Almost idiot proof! (As a side note, the dough is pretty good right out of the package, so eat one or two if you like.) For those that aren't familiar with your oven, find the temperature pre-heat button, and pre-heat the oven to the temp stated on the package. The location and method for pre-heating varies by oven model, so you're on your own with this. Once the oven is pre-heated and ready, open your cookie package, break apart the little pre-formed squares, set them on the cookie sheet as directed, and put them in the oven. It's that simple. All of the dough will not fit on one cookie sheet. So, you will have to do this cycle more than once. The oven will be very hot so be careful not to burn yourself. Trust me...that really hurts! Might be helpful on your first try to have some aloe handy just in case.

This next part is important, so pay attention. The package says how long to leave the cookies in the oven. So, use your swiss army watch and keep track of how long they are in the oven. This is typically around 10 minutes. Once your time is up, use a hot-pad or oven mitt and remove the cookie sheet from the oven. Do not...I repeat...DO NOT try to remove the sheet using your bare hand. I don't care how big and bad you think you are, this is a REALLY BAD idea. Use your spatula and remove the cookies from the cookie sheet and place on a plate of your choice. Once cookies are removed from sheet, put the remaining dough on the cookie sheet, place in oven, and repeat the timing process.

The cookies are ready to eat as soon as they come out of the oven. But BEWARE...they will be very hot, and the gooey chocolate chips will scald your mouth, so you have been warned. Within a matter of minutes, though, they are still warm but safe to eat. As a safety issue, once all cookies are made, remember to turn the oven off. Not only will not doing so waste energy, but leaving it on greatly increases the risk of burning down your house.

So guys, you now have the knowledge to go out into the world and make your own cookies, or make them for the ones you love. Whatever you do, don't tell the women how easy this is. Let them think you slaved over them and put hours of effort into making cookies just for them. They will be very impressed and so appreciative of your efforts.

Good luck, and may the "Cookie Gods" be by your side as you make those little patties of dough and chocolate goodness. :)

December 4, 2012

Hands Together...

On her knees...
Hands together...
She gave thanks...
Thanks for all He had shown her...
For all He had made her feel...
For all He had opened her up to...
Allowed and enabled her to finally experience...
To finally find herself...
All she is and has always been...
Thanks for the freedom...
Freedom from the prison of her own mind...
From being trapped by hr own thoughts...
Thanks for finally being able to just be...
To be herself...
To be accepted and appreciated...
To feel loved and cared for...
Thanks for being able to give all she is to Him...
To be all she needs to be for Him...
To finally be accountable and of service...
She thanks Him for her binds...
As this is when she feels most his...
Most possessed...
Most owned...
Most free...
On her knees, she puts her hands together...
And shows her grattitude...
Shows her reverence...
With hands together...
She thanks Him for everything!


November 30, 2012

Advice To New Dominant (Formspring Question)

I received the following question via formspring:

I am entering into a D/s relationship with my wife. I am new to the lifestyle and could use some general advice.

This really is a good question, and one that I think all new Doms need to ask.  It's never wrong or bad to seek help and direction, even as a Dominant.  Especially as a married couple that has been together a while already and now wants to introduce this dynamic, I think getting off on the right foot is essential.  This beginning period can not only make or break whether D/s works for you, but can also have either a very positive or negative affect on your overall marriage.  I don't know exactly what has transpired between the two of you at this point, so I will touch on some high points I think are vital.

First and foremost above all else...she has asked you to be her Dominant, not be domineering.  Being a dominant is about taking control and leading the way.  It's about guiding yourself and her as you move forward, while caring for and appreciating all she is and gives to you.  It's loving her and doing what you feel is in her best interest.  It is NOT being an overbearing controlling asshole that does things just because you can or think she has given you that right.  You need to do things with a purpose and with a goal.  To help her grow and progress as your wife and your submissive.  To help you grow as her husband and her Dominant.  Do things with the idea of it bringing you closer, opening you both up more, and enabling you two to go further than you could before.  Don't get stuck on a power trip, or think you can do whatever you like now.  Not even close!

I have said this time and time again...communication.  Communication is everything.  The two of you have to be able to be completely open and discuss things about yourselves and your feelings like you probably never have before.  Notice I said..."the two of you".  This goes for you both.  You can't expect or demand she be open and share with you and you not be willing to do the same.  This level of talking and sharing likely won't come easy.  For most people, they have never been this open in their lives.  So, you can't expect it to change and both of you be good with it overnight.  It will take time and likely some pushing by each of you to keep the other open.  It will get easier, though.  If you can't talk and can't be open with each other, then you might as well just quit now.  Open honest communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship...D/s or vanilla.  Communication also includes listening.  Become a great listener.  It's great if she is open and shares with you, but if you aren't really listening or understanding what she is saying, then it's lost it's effectiveness.

Trust and respect!  These are very important once you get going with the relationship.  This is a two way street as well.  You need to trust and respect her as much as you ask her to trust and respect you.  This can take time to build, but your words and your actions, along with your consistency will help build this for each other.  Trust and respect can be hard to build, and I feel like they cannot be asked for or demanded.  You earn trust and is given, not taken.  Yet, it is very easily lost, and hard, if not impossible, to regain once lost.  By the mere nature of D/s, so much trust has to be in place.  Without trust and respect for each other and what you do and give to each other, you can go nowhere.

Lastly I would say that you both have to understand that there is no right or wrong way to do this.  Don't get caught up in the hype or stereotypes of what you see or read.  You two can make this into whatever you want it to be and whatever works for you.  Incorporate the parts you want and need and leave the rest on the shelf.  It doesn't matter how anyone else does this, or what anyone else tells you.  You can make your D/s relationship operate however is best suited for you both.  In addition, don't be afraid of wanting things that seem wrong based on what society thinks or teaches.  If you both are interested, then look into it.  It's ok to be kinky and to want and desire weird things.  Everyone has their own kinks they enjoy.  Also realize that what you like or are interested in will change and evolve over time as you go.  That's perfectly normal and to be expected.  Don't be afraid of this when it happens.  It's very likely that what may be a limit for you today, tomorrow will be something you crave.

I'm sure there is more I could list, but I think these are the basics and some of the most important aspects when starting out.  Nothing can replace experience.  You can read and research until your head hurts, but nothing takes the place of actually being involved and knowing how things really play out and feel.  This can be the beginning of a beautiful thing for the two of you.  Don't rush it, take it slow and one step at a time, and enjoy having this in your marriage.  It can bring you closer and enable you both to feel things you never imagined.  It can be like finally finding yourself, when you didn't even know you were missing.  Embrace it and each other and enjoy the ride.

If any of my readers have other points they would like to mention, by all means feel free to leave it in the comments.  By no means do I think my list is all-encompassing, and I'm sure I left off some important aspects.  Feel free to share your own views on this topic, as I think this can be a great discussion point.


November 25, 2012

Is Asking Demanding? (Formspring Question)

I received the following Formspring question:

  My Dom is the best lover I have ever had and he satisfies me in ways I didn't even know existed. But there is only one problem, he never goes down on me, which is something I really miss. I feel like asking for it is too demanding for a sub. How do I ask?

This is very interesting and something I think many submissives grapple with, within themselves. To me this question goes much further than just asking for oral sex.  It's about asking for what you want and need at all.  It's about feeling like you have a voice and can speak up when there is something you are missing or feel you need from the relationship. 

Any of you that have read my blog for any length of time know what I'm going to say about this.  It all about...communication.  It's about being able to talk openly and feeling free to do so.  Yet, I think the main thing to know is it's has everything to do with how you go about it.  There are ways to ask and bring it up and ways not to not do it.  Done incorrectly, your request can come across as demanding.  But, if you bring it up as something you have noticed, something you feel you miss, and something you would like him to consider, and leave it at that then you should be fine. 

As part of the list of rules I have always used with my subs, I have a clause in there for being open and how her thoughts matter.  Here is what it says: 
Your opinion matters. Your thoughts, needs, desires, opinions, and views will always be taken into account. You may not always get what you want, but you will be heard. Always feel free to express your opinion...but do it in a respectful manner.
I think this is vitally important in a D/s relationship.  She has to feel like it's ok to bring things up for discussion.  She has to feel like and know that what she has to say matters and will be heard and taken into consideration.  Bringing these situations up and talking about them in a calm and respectful manner is the most important part.  Expressing yourself and what you feel you need is not at all demanding.  The two of you have to be able to talk and discuss things like this.  Neither Doms or subs are mind readers.  I can't understate how important I think communication and being able and willing to open talk can be.

So my dear Formspring submitter...I think it's perfectly fine for you to bring up this subject with your Dom.  It's not at all demanding to talk about it and express your desire to receive oral stimulation.  Just make sure you talk about it with him respectfully.  The way you go about it makes all the difference. 

November 17, 2012

Do what?!?! I'm A Sadist?!?!

I came across a very interesting topic in some of my reading.  It flips the coin on a lot of what I write about, which is on submissive emotions, understanding, and acceptance of who and what she is.  This topic is all about the Dominant and how he reconciles his sadist desires while being a loving and caring person in life and a general sense, and even in a Dominant sense.  I think this is well worth a look.

This is a very good topic and one I haven't seen talked about much. Just as it can be hard for a sub to reconcile their need to submit and/or their need for pain, it can be hard for a Dom to reconcile their need to Dom and to inflict pain.  I am not at all above admitting that I have had this internal battle on occasions.  On one hand I want to make her feel loved, cared for, and to know she is safe with me.  On the other, I have the desire to push her limits, inflict some form of pain, and to make her endure for me. 

I consider myself a passionate and caring Dom, but do also enjoy being aggressive at times and pushing her with my sadistic side.  A sub should need all the care, appreciation, and support you can give her. She also can need your force and sadism to help her feel and be who she needs to be. It is this need in her that helps pull it out of me. I'm comfortable with it knowing she needs it and needs my sadistic nature, at least at times. Doesn't mean she needs it all the time, but certainly some of the time. 

I think just as subs have to come to terms with accepting it's ok to want these things and this lifestyle, the same applies to a Dominant.  He has to come to some understanding that he isn't just hurting someone, but there is a purpose.  Yes, he may find pleasure in it, but so does she.  Yet, he is also being what she needs him to be.  He is stepping up and being the Dominant he needs to be for himself and she needs him to be.  It meets a need and a purpose for each of them. 

Let's keep in mind though, that all his actions are done with consent.  At no time or point should anyone engage in these actions against the will or consent of the other person. 

After your times of sadistic pleasure, this is the best time to comfort her and be the caring Dom you are. This is the aftercare she will need and when she will need it most. This is the time you can let your softer side shine through and be the caring person Dom she knows and loves.  Show her you aren't just using her to get your sadistic pleasures.  That you too need to hold and caress her and show her how much you care and she means to you. 

 It's all part of the yin and yang of D/'s each of you giving the other what you need, and helping each other reach your potential. So, don't be afraid of your Dominant sadistic side...embrace it. Just make sure that your sub is on board with your desires and that your wants and needs match up well with the intent you have.  This is one of those areas where your sub can help you grow and expand and learn more about yourself.  She can show you the side of you that you need to be for her, and to know it's perfectly fine to be this way.  Yes, a sub can teach her Dom, and can do so to make him better for them both...and that is a beautiful thing. 

November 10, 2012

All Those Fantastic Asses...

Just a reminder for all those that aren't aware, for those that have inquired, and those that are just looking for some nice pics...

Although Fantastic Ass Friday is currently in a state of suspension, you can still visit my new tumblr page and get your fill of all the nice female posterior pics.  New pics are added almost every day... B&W, color, artistic, some more revealing than others.  I try to keep that page somewhat tasteful and not just porn pictures.  (depending on how you see it I guess lol)  Anyway, I do enjoy pics with some artistic flair and beauty.

Feel free to stop by, pull up a chair and stay a while. 

Elegantly Dangerous Curves (DV's Fantastic Asses)


November 9, 2012

Losing the Thrill? (Formspring Question)

I received the following comment/question via Formspring:

Love your honesty in answering questions, quite HOT! I am new to BDSM, obviously. So, before I get over my head in this new relationship and my heart broken, let me ask you this? Do dominant men lose the thrill of their sub once they are "broken in"?

First, thank you so much for the compliment.  Can't say that me or my honesty has ever been referred as hot before, but I won't complain.  :)

This question is almost like deja vu.  I've had this conversation a couple of times over the past month or so.  Even within the last week.  I will assume by broken in this means that you are at least past the initial stages of becoming familiar with being submissive and having a Dominant lead them down that road.  Or, at least that's how I'm going to approach this. 

As for my own personal views, I think that any Dom who is just there for the thrill of "breaking you in" and then wishes to be on his way isn't worth the time.  This is, of course, unless this is known from the start and you are both in it for this reason.  Otherwise, you go through all this with him, get attached, develop feelings, connect and bond on a deep intimate level, and then end up an emotional basket case because he moves on.  And why?  All because he made his conquest and is now onto someone else.

In my eyes, unless you go into with that purpose and it is known, that is just...Wrong...Wrong...Wrong...on so many levels!

For me, losing the thrill doesn't even cross my mind or play into it.  It's not about getting a submissive used to this and what it is like and then nothing more.  It's about the ever-evolving relationship and dynamic between the two of you.  I don't see it as a period of initial learning and then you move into the next phase.  I see it as something that is continuously growing and becoming more, with no specific phases or end points.  It is a constant progression together to become more for each other.  If you back out after the initial "break in" period ( I feel like I'm talking about a car or something lol)  then you are missing out on how deep and fulfilling a D/s relationship can grow to be. 

I think so much of it depends on the person you are involved with in this.  A good person/man (Dom doesn't even really have to be a part of the equation) won't ever see it as getting your feet wet and then leaving you start it all again.  If this is a concern for you, then you two need to be very open with your communication and define what you want and your expectations with each other.  He needs to know how you view your relationship, now and in the future, just as you need to know how he sees it.  there doesn't need to be any surprises, as far as this goes. 

I hope this answers your question(s).  Thanks for asking this, and again for the compliments. 


Thank You Lurkers...and Non-Lurkers Alike

I have come to realize that today is "Love Your Lurkers" Day.  So I will say hello to all of you out there that stop by, whether sporadically or regularly, but never leave a comment or say anything.  I know I have them, as I think all of us in blogland do.  I believe the chart to the right is a pretty good representation of what really goes on about those that comment and make themselves known.  So...that means we all have a huge following of anonymous lurkers that read, but remain in the shadows.  I thank you all, known or not, that stop by and enjoy what I write and have to say. 

 Well, today you can no longer hide!  We all know you are there.  So feel free to drop by, make yourself known, and leave a comment about whatever you would like.  This is a free comment zone about anything and everything, so feel free to throw it out there.  Bring it on my dear lurkers!  Come out of hiding and step forth from the shadows, at least for a moment, and let it be known that you like to stop by and read DV's blog.  Ok...ok...I really don't want anyone knowing you like it here.  But you can do it just for today, and anonymous comments are more than welcome.  Whatever your reason, feel free to leave a comment and of course....Thank you for lurking, and at least for yourself!  :)


November 3, 2012

The Look In Your Eyes

The look in your eyes
The feelings never more true
You look fabulous
With me owning you

Your beauty shines
Your smile is bright
You have found happiness
In my glowing light

You finally see
The you that was hidden
Of your doubt and hesitation
You will now be ridden

You bring me my belt
And say "please make me feel
Your power and strength
Is so very real"

Your ass in the air
Waiting for lashes
Breathing deeply
You feel the first lashes

One, then two
Then three, then four
You hope I'm not done
You need many more

Your skin bears red stripes
From the crack of the belt
Finally you are alive
You have now felt

You completely let go
You had no choice
I made you go there
It's total rejoice

You blood runs hot
It burns like fire
Within you flows
A never known desire

All you want now
Is to give me more
Whether standing by my side
Or on your knees on the floor

 You let me inside
All those firmly built walls
And now all you want
Is to give me your all

Because deep inside
You know I care
I give love and support
And will always be there

The look in your eyes
The feelings never more true
You've never been happier
Than with me owning you


October 31, 2012

Titles and Names...

What's in a name?  Does having a title make you any more of a person?  Does it make you any more important than someone else?  Does it make someone else any less than you? 

So many times I think people get way to caught up on names and titles.  Especially in the various aspects of the bdsm lifestyle.  People tend to think they have to have a certain title or be called something specific.  That they feel less important with out it.  Some people are offended by being called one thing while reveling in being called something else.  And to those that are new to this and trying to learn, all the different monikers can be...well, confusing and daunting. 

Are you a Dom, Master, Daddy, Top, Domme, Switch, Mistress, Sir?
Are you a sub, slave, bottom, lil, babygirl, pet, brat, kitten? 
Are you kinky or vanilla?
Or you monogamous you polyamorous?
Is it just the two of you, or are you part of a House, a Pack, a Group, a Family?
Are you a sadist,. masochist, or sadomasochist?
Are you in a relationship, owned, collared, in training, being mentored, mentoring?
Are you straight, gay, bi, queer, heteroflexible, curious, pansexual, asexual? 

Does any of it really even matter?
Hell, I got confused even writing this.  I'm not sure what my orientation is now?!?!

Yes, I think it matters, to a degree, but don't get stuck on a name or title.  Really it doesn't make you any more or any less than you were five minutes ago before having that name.  Yet, within certain circumstances, it does help define and describe who you are and how you fit into this.  But, don't get too caught up on names and titles. 

In the big picture, it doesn't mean that much.  What does matter is what you and your partner have with each other.  It's how you see each other and how the names you use with each other plays into your dynamic.  As long as that works for you, then the rest doesn't matter.  Yes, you may be submissive, but if being his babygirl makes you feel your place and special with him, then by all means use it.  Yes, I may be a Dominant, but if she needs to call me Daddy, and that is what helps define our relationship, then we will use it. 

I may classify myself as Dom (which I do), but that really only matters to one person...the one I'm involved with.  Otherwise, it has no real bearing on me and the person I truly am.  It's just a title or name I use.  It's a description.  It doesn't make me any more or any less than someone who calls themselves a Master or a Top, or a sub or a slave.  It's just a way of defining myself within this lifestyle, based on how you see yourself and what you want from this. 

So, don't get too caught up in names and titles.  Don't let all the possibilities overwhelm you.   Just be yourself.  Yet, if you really want to mess with some people who seem to be caught up in titles and what you call yourself, then pick as many of these adjectives as you possible can and throw them at people just for fun.  Such as...

I am the Dominant Daddy of a kinky submissive heteroflexible babygirl, who is owned and collared within our monogamous yet sometimes poly relationship, in which she is exploring her masochistic tendencies and bringing out my sadistic side, as I train her to go further and eventually become my bisexual slave, at which time I will introduce her to the House Of DV, where she will become a part of the rest of my harem and officially be a part of DV's Family.   

(and yes that last part was way over the top sarcastic)  ;)

October 18, 2012

That Time Of The Month? (Formspring)

I recently received the following question via Formspring...

What do you do with your sub when she is on her period?

This is actually a pretty good question, and one I haven't seen many people write about.  Or maybe...because of the topic I purposely skipped over those posts.  LOL!  Anyway...I'm going to try to keep this...ummm...tasteful.

I think a lot of this depends on the two people involved.  Some people will avoid sexual contact completely during menstruation.  Others don't let it slow them down one bit.  Personally, I can hold out and avoid that area during this time.  I would prefer not to deal with the mess.  Or as a special friend once told me... "I have two other perfectly good holes.  There is no need to go there while I'm on my period."  This always made me laugh, but she has a good point.

There are plenty of other good ways to enjoy each other, and keep the D/s dynamic alive, without having to deal with sex during her period.  As pointed out before, there are other ways to enjoy her body.  you can work on oral skills together.  You can work on anal pleasure together.  You can work on your bondage or flogging skills.  The choices are endless.  Or as Domly as it may or may not sound, you could use this time to relax and just hold each other and be together.  Nothing says you can't use this time to take a break, re-group and refresh, either. 

I have always enjoyed using this "down time" as a time and way to bond mentally and emotionally.  It's a perfect time to spend reading and researching about this lifestyle together.  You can share thoughts and ideas.  You can banter back and forth about your views, how they are similar and how they differ.  You can expand on what you would like to try together.  You can look at expanding your horizons and what those horizons may be.  It's like setting the ground work and having a planning stage.  So, when the skies clear and things are back to normal, you are then ready to jump back into being more physical and intimate with your new-found knowledge. 

By no means does the world stop or slow down because a woman has her monthly cycle.  It's just part of life.  Your D/s relationship shouldn't stop or be put on hold either.  Yes, if it's all about sex for you, then this may slow you down a bit, at least for a week, but it shouldn't be all about sex anyway.  There are plenty of ways to keep the fire alive, and to actually grow what the two of you have together, during this time.  It's not always a bad thing.  Some time away from the physical, and concentrating more on the mental and emotional, can be very good for your relationship.

Of course all this is assuming she isn't the type to turn into a monster and wants to rip apart any and everything that stands in her way, and would prefer to rip your guts out and jump up and down all over them just for looking at her in what she perceives is a wrong way.  If that's the're on your own.  I can't help you.  Run!  Run for your life!  You are better off having a man cave somewhere and hiding out until the sweet little sub returns to normal.   (sorry I couldn't resist a little jab for fun)  :)

October 12, 2012

An End And A New Beginning (FAF)

Well, I believe we have come to the end of an era.  As you have probably noticed, new editions of FAF have been few and far between.  Time and availability have been a major issue as of late.  And as much as I hate to admit it, the drive to continue and keep up with FAF hasn't been there either. 

So, for now I will have to say goodbye to FAF for the foreseeable future.  I'm not going to say this is the death of it, but it is certainly in a deep coma at this point.   I appreciate all of you that came by every week to check out the pictures and vote for your weekly favorite.  A special thanks as well to all those that submitted pictures. 

FAF wasn't just nice sexy pictures of the was much more to some people.  Over the time of FAF, I received emails from people/couples telling me how it brought them together.  they would sit down each and every week and review the pics and each pic their favorite.  Then they would discuss why they chose the picture they did.  So, it wasn't just about the sexy pics.  there was an element of bring couples together and opening the lines of communication.  That was a wonderful added benefit that never could have been known when this started.

Having said all that, for those of you that can't go without your pictures, I would like to invite you to my two tumblr blogs.  Many of you know about one of them...Dauntless Arousal.  This blog is all about D/s and bdsm with a flair for the artistic and writings of others on tumblr.  The second blog is new.  It is called DV's Fantastic Asses.  There you can get your fill of all the fantastic asses you like.  Still done with a view of the artistic shots.  So, I kindly invite you to visit those two blogs for all your picture needs.  Each is updated and has pictures added almost daily. 

Thanks again to everyone for your support of Fantastic Ass Friday.  It has been a pleasure to be able to offer you some wonderful pictures each and every week. 


October 10, 2012

Bound In The Light

You came to me 
I took you there
To all the places you denied but needed to go
The walls…The numbness
The hollow feelings…The need to hide
The fear…All gone
Breathe deep…Life fills you
You no longer just exist
You now live to feel
To feel the excitement
To feel the arousal of the senses
To feel what’s it’s like to be cared for
Feelings within your heart and mind
Feelings you didn’t know were possible
Just to feel at all is new
And feeling like you belong and have found yourself
Your true self
The one you have been made to feel was wrong
You now see it fills you with peace
It feels safe…Secure…Protected
It feels like home
And here you lie
Completely open and available
Allowing access to all you are
Begging to be molded…shaped…formed
And shown who you already are
Not changed or made what you are not
Brought to the forefront of all you already are
A new fear…anxiety…nervousness
Now envelopes you
Not of what lies before you
What may happen to you
What may be subjected upon you
But of not having that
Of not being guided in who you are
Of not being able to see all this can bring
All this can offer
All that you are
It’s the fear of going back
Back to what was before
Back to being less
Being as you were before
You have found your strength...Your fortitude
You have been shown you have far more
Than you ever knew was possible
So you fight with all your might
You refuse…Struggle…Plead to stay bound
To stay bound in the light
The light that now shines
The light that shows you all you are
Encompasses your very being
It is freedom…Hope…Promise
The lack of binds…Of going back
Of being free to be who you were before
That is not living…That is death…That is denial
The fear of not feeling...Of not being
Is far greater than the safety of being nothing


October 4, 2012

Strange But True Sex Facts...

I came across a post on the blog Lady Cheeky: Smut For Smarties.  The post is titled 88 Strange But True Sex Facts.  There was actually some really interesting facts on the list.  I am just going to post some of the ones I find most interesting and intriguing, but feel free to follow the link to the original post for the full list. 

As always feel free to comment and open discussion on any of these you like.  There is some very thought provoking information in many of these facts.

1. A woman is more likely to want to commit adultery during ovulation than at any other time in her cycle.

 4. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, the same feel-good chemical responsible for the ecstatic high people experience through sexual attraction and love.

 9. The earth could be re-populated to its current level using the number of sperm that could fit into an aspirin capsule.

10. A chicken egg could accommodate the number of female ova necessary to repopulate the earth to its present numbers.

12. White women are the most likely to engage in anal sex, particularly if they also have a college degree.

17. During any given period, women who read romance novels have a tendency to have twice as many lovers as those who don’t.

22. Heterosexual anal sex is something 43% of women have experienced.

 23. Women consider penis size the ninth most important feature for a man, while men rate it much more highly, in third place.

24. When a man ejaculates, the initial spurt travels at 28 miles per hour – faster than the world record for the 100m sprint, which currently stands at 22.9 miles per hour.
28. There are 20 male masochists for every female masochist.
39. Every time they engage in oral sex with their partner, 30% of women swallow.

43. Women over 40 years of age are more likely to masturbate than any other group.

45. According to experts, sex is about 10 times more effective as a tranquilliser than Valium.

47. 44% of women find it impossible to enjoy sex with a man who is not their intellectual equal. Just 31% of men share this problem.

48. There are about 1,000 recognised euphemisms for ‘vagina’ in the English language.

54. During their lifetime, the average driver will have sex in their car six times.

52. 75% of Japanese women own a vibrator. The average worldwide is 47%.  And this is probably because...

37. Greek couples have sex an average of 138 times a year – placing them at the top of the world sex league. Japanese couples have sex just 45 times a year, which puts them in last place.

57. One in five women living with their boyfriend has more than one sexual partner.

60. The size of the vagina decreases by 30% as orgasm becomes imminent.

62. Inside the female body, sperm cells can survive for up to nine days.

64. Over 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. 10% of men are affected by erectile dysfunction.

65. It’s possible to relieve depression through masturbation.

67. The average aroused vagina is 4 inches long – shorter than the average erect penis, which measures in at 6 inches.

68. The average woman can reach orgasm in about 4 minutes through masturbation, while through intercourse, it can take 10 – 20 minutes.

69. Sneezes, along with orgasms, are the only physiological responses that cannot be voluntarily stopped once they have started.

70. Straight men tend to have smaller penises than gay men.

74. The amount of wet dreams a man is likely to have increases in line with the number of years spent in formal education.

76. The majority of women prefer to have sex in the dark.

78. When having sex, black women are 50% more likely to reach orgasm than white women.

79. 60% of non-smoking women have had no sexual partners in the past year, while 70% of women who smoke have had more than four lovers over the same timescale.

80. Women who are prone to migraines tend to have a higher sex drive than those who are not.

85. 70% of men and women admit to having fantasised about someone else while having sex.

88. An overwhelming majority of sexual partners have only skimpy knowledge of what truly turns each other on.

October 1, 2012

Dom All The Time? - Formspring

I received the following question via Formspring:

Should a Dom Dominate his submissive all the time, or just during play?

This is a pretty good question, especially for those new to the lifestyle...or whatever you want to call this.  A lot of this can seem overwhelming and confusing when you are trying to learn and get a grasp on all the different facets out there within bdsm.  When looking at how this is done, most of what someone will see has to do with the physical aspects of a D/s relationship.  They see the play, the bondage, the spankings, and whatever else you might come across.  That's just the main highlights of these types of relationships. It can leave one wondering how to actually go about the relationship itself. 

The answer to the question all depends!  It depends on what the two people involved want the relationship to be.  Do you want it to just be sexual in the bedroom?  Do you want to have control outside the bedroom?  Do you want to have total control of every aspect of the subs life? What level of control does the Dom want and is the sub willing to give?  The list could go on and on. 

To a degree, this is a negotiation.  As a Dom, you have to figure out what you want and need from the relationship.  You have to know if you want control outside the bedroom, and if so, to what degree.  How do you envision this control playing out in real life?  What do you want and expect from it?  As a submissive, you have to ask the same questions of yourself.  Then, the two people can get together and see if their list of desires and visions matches up, or how well.  As a couple, you can work through your lists together to find some middle ground that fits what you both need.

The most important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to do this.  There is no step by step guide.  There is no bdsm or D/s police that are going to come by your house and tell you to stop because you're doing it all wrong.  There is only one rule that you need to follow above and beyond all else...DO WHAT MAKES YOU BOTH HAPPY!  Period!  The end!  That's all that matters.  As long as the two of you are happy with how you do things, nothing else matters.  Pick and choose the parts and pieces of this that are of interest to you, keep an open mind to additions later, and leave the rest on the shelf.  

Above all, enjoy yourself!  This should be fun and exciting.  It should meet some wants and needs and help you two become closer to each other.  It should build some bonds between you.  It should open the door to further and better communication.  Find all the good you can from it and enjoy yourself!  That's what it's all about!


September 26, 2012

You're Welcome...

You’re Welcome…

For opening you up to be able to share with me and let me know where you are mentally and emotionally and what you are needing from me.

For being able to feel yourself being controlled and Dominated in the ways you need most. 

For being shown you can take and enjoy the pain and sting from my hand, or whatever implement I choose to use on you. 

For being made, even if for just a few minutes, to get lost in that pain and sting, and be made to let go and give into it, taking you to a place of peace and serenity. 

For being able to feel the strength I have and am giving to you to make you stronger. 

For being able to feel your own place with me and all of who you need to be for me. 

For being able to look deep within yourself to find the need to endure what I inflict upon you. 

For being able to discover within yourself, as you take all that I give, the arousal that builds uncontrollably and the wetness that begins to pour from your depths. 

For helping you discover an arousal like no other, and one you can feel only for me in being treated the way you need most. 

For making you feel things and in ways no one else has ever made you feel, even when on the surface it may seem wrong.

For being able to give yourself to me like you never have to anyone else so you can feel the sensations and in the ways you need to feel them, that are so lovely and intense for you. 

For being able to go through your day while having the reminder of me taking you in such a way, as you feel it with every move, and every time you sit down on the flesh that has been lovingly tormented by me. 

For being able to give you a clear reminder that shoots through your body, brain, and heart telling you exactly who you belong to and you wouldn't want it any other way.

For helping you find yourself and bring it into the light…your true self that has been purposely kept deep inside and hidden, and now has allowed you to not only let it out, but to embrace every part of it. 

For giving you all this you are welcome.  And thank you for allowing me the pleasure to show you this path and for all you give to me that allows me to be all this for you.  


September 24, 2012

Where's Waldo?!?!

Thank you to those that have written to me and checked to make sure I am ok.  It was very sweet for you to be concerned.  I can assure you, as I have been asked, that I:

1. Didn't fall off the edge the earth.
2. I wasn't attacked by a wild and rabid southern animal and died from it.
and my favaorite...
3. I didn't succumb to the beginnings of the zombie apocalypse.  LOL!

There are several factors for my not being around as much.  Partly because of life.  Yes, life gets in the way of things sometimes.  But, you all wouldn't know anything about that would you?!?! 

Secondly, I have had brain freeze for a while on writing.  Or...maybe it's I have had too much on my mind and can't get it formulated into coherent thoughts enough to get it on paper (so to speak).  Whatever the case, it haven't been able to write.  I can't just write for the sake of writing.  I need my thoughts in order.  So, unfortunately, you all sit there anxiously waiting for my brain to unlock only to wake up once again to nothing.  Well, maybe that last part was a bit over-dramatized.  LOL! 

Anyway, I am still around, and hope to be putting pen to paper again very soon.  Thanks for all the well wishes and checking in on me.  It means a lot.  :)


September 13, 2012

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

I hope everyone has had a great week.  Last week's winner is posted to the right, as usual.  Thanks to everyone that has voted and continues to stop by each and every week.

I haven't done this for a while, and since I have to keep all my lady fans happy and interested this week you get...drum roll please...ahhh the anticipation...and...YES!!!  It's Male Ass Week for all you Ladies! For all the guys (heterosexual ones anyway), shut-up and leave me alone. The ladies need some nice asses to view as well, and we all know that we have to keep the ladies happy or no one is happy.  :)

I hope you all enjoy, and have a fantastic weekend!







September 7, 2012

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to the first FAF of September 2012.  Last week's winner is posted to the right.

For those that have sent me messages and wondered where I have been and why I haven't been writing...well, it just hasn't hit me.  I'm not one to write just to write.  I have to have an idea and something I feel I would like to share and touch on.  I just haven't had that inspiration lately.  Life has been crazy and I have been busy.  I haven't even had much time to look at pics and update my tumblr blog.  You know you're busy when you can't even fit your porn into your schedule.  LOL!  Anyway, thanks for your concerns, and I am doing well.  A post topic will strike me soon I'm sure.  And when it does, you can assured that I will share with you all.

In the are still getting FAF, so stop your complaining.  ;)
BTW - for all you northern U.S. and Michigan fans...ROLL TIDE!!!
I hope you all have a great weekend!







August 31, 2012

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to the last day of August.  The fall season is quickly approaching and summer will be coming to an end.  But, that means football (American Football) is starting back up, so all of you that are like me and love your college and pro teams can get geared up and ready. 

Last week's winner is posted to the right.  I have a special treat for you this week.  At the suggestions and assistance of one of my dear FAF blogger fans from across the pond, Blossom and her blog Beautiful Submission, we are going to use a different kind of picture this week.  We are putting things into motion for you.  Just in case your internet connection drags or the pics load slow, please be patient and let them fully load so you can see the action of each one. 

For those of you in that States, have a great extended weekend!  For everyone else...well, just have a great weekend! 







August 24, 2012

Fantasic Ass Friday (FAF)

I know it's been a few weeks, but I am trying to get back into the swing of things.  My apologies to all those that have felt scorned by not receiving your weekly dose of FAF.  I will try to keep you all sated. 

The winner of the last FAF is posted to the right. 

This week I have chosen a few pics involving couples.  I hope you enjoy them.  Have a great weekend everyone!