March 31, 2010

Less Submissive Positions

Photography by Gordon Denman

So I got to thinking...  I know, I know!  You coud feel the earth shake when it happened.  Blah blah blah!!! 

Anyway, some of the posts and sites i have been reading talk about scenes and scenarios a couple engage in, and involve the Dom/Master taking and using his sub/slave as he so chooses.  This is how it should be, I might add, and what she needs.  I got to thinking about the different positions that these couples are in and use to engage in sexual intercourse.  I for one, enjoy a myriad of positions, as each has it's own benefits and sensations.  Sometimes you just go where the moment takes you, and where that moment has you end up. 

It seems, however, that you don't hear or read much about a sub being on top and riding her Dom.  I like to have a woman on top.  Sometimes it's nice to lay there and let her work her magic.  Yet, being on top seems to come across as a position of power.  One of being in control.  Maybe I'm wrong, but this is just the perception I have in my head.  This being the case, I can understand why you don't hear much about it.  Why would a Dom, or a sub for that matter, want the sub on top and in control of the situation?  Other than the fact that it is just a pleasureable position for the mere sensation of the intercourse itself.

So my questions are these... 

1.  Does this position, woman on top, and assuming the woman is the sub, make her feel less submissive? 
2.  Does it make a Dom feel less Dominant?
3.  For the subs, what other positions make you feel less submissive and less controlled?

I'm just curious.  I haven't really seen a post on certain positions and their place in a D/s relationship.  Again, I'm always trying to learn and see all sides of a situation.   The better I, as a Dominant, understand both my side better and the sub side better, the better I can become as the Dominant person I am.  I am the type to be a logical thinker.  I need all sides involved to be able to make the best decision possible.  IT's one of those OCD personality traits I have.  I lot of my thought process doesn't work around feelings and attachments.  It is more based on information and what seems to be the best process and scenario given the information provided.  This is a fault, but also a blessing. 

I have digressed, and gotten off the topic.  I'm just curious as to other people involved in this lifestyle, and how they view different positions.  Bring on the comments!


  1. Great questions, DV!

    So as not to get too wordy, I'll limit myself to answering the first of your three questions. Although Daddy/Master rarely wants me on top, on the occasions that he does, I do not feel less submissive. Now, why might that be?

    Generally, if I'm on top, He'll take the opportunity to torture my nipples and breasts (clothespins, clamps, slapping, etc.). He'll order to me to keep my shoulders back and my hands out of his way while I'm riding him so that he has full access to my breasts and torso. Daddy and I have discussed the D/s dynamic of the woman-on-top position before and this is the end result of our investigation...

    The fact that I'm exposed while riding him and his hands are free to do whatever he wishes to do reinforces my submission. When we throw in the fact that, while I'm on top, his cock gets substantially deeper inside me to the point of pain...well, I don't think there's any doubt about who's in charge! :)

    Oh my...I'm afraid, despite my greatest efforts, that I've gotten wordy on you! Sorry about that, DV! :)

    Take care,
    Baby Girl :)

  2. DV Sir,

    Even if I'm on top, Omega still controls my movements, he'll direct me...and also the other parts of my body are fully out for his use too. I don't think there is much that could make Omega feel less dominant. I also can't think of a single position that makes me feel less submissive to him. Well, except for oral sex...then I kinda feel a rush of power when I do that to him. For that time, unless he takes back control which he does do sometimes, I feel powerful. Not that I could get him to do anything (other than orgasm) or it can't compare to the real power that he has over me.

    I dunno...

  3. Even if I'm on top, he put me there, he keeps me there, or not, he tells me/shows me/makes me move as he wishes, and he decides when I will be no longer on top. And, as mouse and baby girl point out, he takes full advantage of the perfect access to my breasts.

  4. Thank you all for your response. I'm glad to have the insight from a sub's POV on this. I knew how I felt, whch is the way you describe, but wasn't sure about a submissive. You all definitely still feel your total submission regardless of the position. I thank you again for your comments. They are invaluable to me on my neverending quest.


  5. ...beautifully delicious

  6. I actually feel more submissive on top as I don't believe I am good at riding on top so for me it is like a form of humiliation. How ever I feel most submissive when I'm bent over with my arms tied behind me. It makes me feel dirty like my Master can't stand to look at me.

  7. I love My slut riding me. I'm having her pleasure me with her cunt. Letting me lie back and relax, and plus it frees my hands to pinch her nipples, spank her ass, or commit any other type of torture I wish.

  8. Master and I have discussed this also, and just like when it comes to oral sex (a lot of ppl seem to find that un-Domly for some reason)I can only see it as one thing: Pleasuring Him like He wants me to -how can that be un-submissive in any way? Just like MHarley I have a bit of a complex about being on top, so I think that 1. me doing it for Him (anyway) makes me feel submissive, and 2. it is a perfect "training" opportunity -also making me feel more submissive. And as the others have already said; my whole body is exposed to Him and He can control my movements if He so wishes.
    As long as I pleasure Him the way He asks of me I am under His control, on top or not, giving head or not (because just like mouse I feel a bit empowered but that too -plus I LOVE giving it! But the only control I have then is as she says "over His orgasm" -and only if He lets me ;) )Conclusion: I think there might be certain positions that make me feel more or less controlled, but there is no change in the level of submission (if that makes sense?)

  9. My Dom always puts me on top to begin. He just loves to watch the tits swaying and can allow himself to be mesmerized by them. He also enjoys making me do the fucking until almost at orgasm so he can watch the internal struggle for control when he says the word. And those times he chooses to cum this way he makes me work hard to bring about his bliss. For me to be in control I would be orgasming as I pleased whilst denying him and that simply doesn't happen.

  10. Well, I am over 2 years late into this conversation, lol, but I have a different opinion than those posted here by other submissives. I really dislike being on top, simply because I don't feel as "under his control" as I do in other positions. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the pleasure derived from this position, but I hate the feeling of power it gives me. While our position could never make me feel less submissive to him, it does feel like he has put a little of the power into my hands, and I don't like that.

    Just my opinion...

  11. Yeah, I don't feel less submissive when I'm on top and he's slapping the heck out of me. Love that!

  12. Allowing my sub to be on top is a reward for her. When she's been a very good girl, I tell her to bet up there and allow her to do as she wishes.