July 27, 2012

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

I know...I know...you have all been struggling through your week wanting nothing more than to get to Friday so you can have a fresh batch of fantastic asses to view.  OK, well, maybe you were just looking forward to the weekend, and this just happens to be a good way to get it started.  LOL!  Whatever the reason, I'm glad you are here and enjoying the pictures.

Last week's winner is posted to the right.  This week I'm going to use  a "sitting" theme for the pictures.  I hope you all enjoy them, and have a great weekend!







July 20, 2012

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

We have crowned a winner for the 2012 Mid Year Playoffs.  The favorite picture of all the winners so far this year, as voted on a chosen by all of you, is...

Now it's time to resume our regularly scheduled weekly programming.   It's time to bring on some fresh new pictures and asses for your viewing and voting pleasure.  Have a great weekend everyone!







July 17, 2012

The Strength Within

"Patience is a Virtue"...how many times have we all heard that?  For me, more than we care to count.  Especially when in today's society everything seems to be so fast and furious.  Technology has made us want instant gratification and instant results right now.  I am no exception.  Yet, at the same time I teach about patience and that some things just take time.  So how do we deal with the fact that we need patience, yet want something right this minute?

The answer is very simple...inner strength.  I think having a lot of inner strength is vitally important to being a Dominant.  I don't mean being physically strong, and even having that presence about you that exudes Dominance.  Sometimes, it can take all a dominant has to be strong and be patient.  This can be an internal battle he fights within himself. I'm not looking at this as patience in dealing with a submissive, or patience in seeing progress and growth within her.  That should be a given, as nothing happens overnight.  I'm talking about the strength to hold out yourself, as the Dominant, to be able to be better for the submissive. 

One example of this is a short story I saw attached to a picture on tumblr yesterday.  It was all about the Dom teasing the sub, getting her all worked up, letting her stew about it mentally, yet not letting her have any release.  Many times that is the point of the exercise, and in showing who is in charge and in control.  She gets her release when he allows it.  She can ache and throb within, be a sloppy mess between her legs, and she can beg and plead to have him and have her release.  She can need it more than anything.  Yet, she doesn't get it.

This is where having inner strength comes into play for the Dom.  It can be very easy to push her just a bit, and give her what she wants as soon as she begs a little.  But does that serve the greater good of your relationship?  Giving her what she wants every time she wants it, just because she asks?  I don't think it does!  It can be very difficult to say no to a beautiful woman who is overly sexually aroused, and begging and pleading to be taken.  I mean, who in their right mind would turn that down, right?  But part of being in control is being in control of yourself.  You have to be strong to deny her to accomplish the goal you set out to reach. 

Another aspect of inner strength has to do with standing firm in your beliefs, your rules, and your expectations.  You can't be wishy washy and go back and forth.  Remaining steadfast and holding your ground is very important.  That doesn't mean you can't look at things from a different perspective and adjust how you do something.  It just means that you have to be consistent in your approach with your submissive.  You may not always feel like stepping up and taking control, but it is necessary.  Whether that is enacting punishment, giving guidance, or not cutting any slack on a known rule within the relationship.  As a Dom, you will be pushed and tested to make sure you are standing strong and that the line in the sand is still in the same place.  This can take strength to make sure you stand firm.

I believe that a much stronger relationship can be formed when a Dominant has inner strength.  Together, when he remains strong, they can reach much further than if he gives in.  the submissive will respect him much more for standing firm, then if she feels she can push him around.  Not to mention that pretty much defeats the whole purpose of the power exchange between them.  You can still be loving, and caring, and supportive, and nurturing.  Yet, you must stay strong and find your inner strength.  The strength that is part of you and the strength she deserves to see and have from you. 

July 13, 2012

Friday Humor

This is pretty funny!  Looks just like something I would at least think, although I may not actually do it and turn it in.  LOL!  You may have to click on the picture to make it big enough to read.  But it's worth the time! 

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF) Mid-Year Playoffs Final

Alright everybody...here we go!  We have reached the Finals of the Mid-Year Playoffs, to determine your most favorite ass of the first half of 2012.  This week you will only be able to vote once for one picture.  The picture with the most votes will be declared the winner.  In the case of a tie, we will have a runoff vote. 

These are the pictures/asses you the voters have chosen to advance into the Finals.  Without further ado...may your favorite ass win!







July 11, 2012

The Rewards Of A Submissive

Rather than write my own post, I decided to steal from someone else.  Ok, steal is such a horrible word.  I am going to post someone else's work with their prior permission to do so.  Why, you may ask?  Because it is extremely well written, and sounds exactly like something I would write, and how I see D/s.  I thought this post was worth sharing, and would love to know how you all feel about it as well. 

The picture and words are from the tumblr blog For The Love Of A Submissive. The specific post is The Rewards Of A Submissive


The Rewards of a Submissive

Much is written of submission on blogs and in chat rooms, and images abound of “submissive’s” and their so-called “Doms.” But what most BDSM sites and blogs present is entertainment, sexual titillation, and at times outright coercion and abuse rather than an exploration of genuine submission and the amazing rewards it can bring to a Dom. Earning the submission of another human being is a process that takes patience, dedication, concern, love, empathy, listening skills, and above all, integrity. But if or when it happens, the feeling is indescribable!

Submission is earned; it is neither coerced or manipulated. And to be meaningful for me, it must come from a woman whom I unreservedly revere and admire. The greater her will, intellect, artistic ability, grace, kindness and beauty, the greater the reward of earning her submission. To that end, earning the submission of such a woman is not the end state but rather just the beginning, because I want more. More of her. All of her. And to do that, she must be allowed to grow to her full potential, which means giving her the space and encouragement to be everything she is capable of being. She is the gift. The better and more whole she is, the more precious the gift to me.

Therefor, to my way of thinking, a submissive is not a slave. Quite the opposite. She is a free being who has chosen of her own will to give herself unreservedly to me. Catching a hummingbird in a net just feels mean spirited and destructive. Having that same hummingbird land on your fingertip of its own accord is a soaring experience. So it is for me with a woman’s submission.

There are many woman (and men) who are so insecure they will throw themselves at the feet of a Dom for mere acceptance and the illusion of love. This is not submission, it is desperation. In it, there is little reward for a Dom beyond pitty and satisfying their own broken wing syndrome; rescuing. This is not submission, it is codependence and is vastly unhealthy for all involved.

But, when a would-be Dom can reach into the mind of a confident, well-read, intelligent and capable woman, captivating her imagination and earning her respect and adoration, magic happens! When she bends her knees of her own accord. When you see the look of adoration in her eyes. When she unreservedly gives you her heart, mind, and soul. Pure Magic!

BDSM, S/M, and D/s imagery focusses most on the physical aspects of the power exchange. This is only natural…it is what the camera sees best. Only the occasional image adequately begins to convey the strength and beauty of the spiritual and emotional bond between a submissive and her Dom. But when it does, it is a special picture and genuinely stands out. Usually the devotion shows first in the eyes and secondarily in the postures of the Dom and/or his submissive. Feelings are so difficult to capture in an image and yet they are the essence of D/s.

In real life, the reward for me of submission is 90 percent mental, spiritual and emotional. When the bond is strong and the challenge of successfully leading a submissive is great, my heart and mind become immersed in the relationship and how to make it stronger and more fulfilling for both of us. My brain is fully engaged. My imagination is energized. My heart beats stronger. I want to be a better man and a better Dom…every day. I want to be all that I possibly can and in so doing inspire and motivate my submissive to strive for her full potential.

D/s between a healthy and confident man and woman (or any combination of the sexes) is an immensely positive relationship. Far from the dark imagery of floggings and physical challenges, it is a spiritually uplifting experience. And with that spiritual bond firmly established between a Dom and a sub, the bodies have no choice but to follow. With the combination of mutual devotion, trust and adoration, comes an environment where all physical experiences and rewards become possible. In that secure space that we create and nurture between us we can indulge in the physical, dance in the darkness, and explore the power exchange in all of its physical manifestations. More magic!

To the submissive - Give your heart, your mind, your soul to the right Dom and he will give you physical and emotional sensations unimaginable.

To the Dom - Lead genuinely with your heart and mind and the body will follow.

© of the text - For the Love of A Submissive

July 9, 2012

One Lovely Blog...

Well...I guess I have to get on board with this whole Lovely Blog thing.  A special thanks to FA and Aisha for listing me as one of their favorites.  Here are the rules for this, as I understand them:

The One Lovely Blog Rules of Acceptance

- Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
- Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
- Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
- Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.

I don't know that I have time to contact everyone, so hopefully those that need to know will see this.  I also hate doing this, as I feel like I will hurt someone's feelings by not listing their blog.  So, no offense to anyone if you aren't listed, as the blogs I will list are some of the ones I read and follow regularly, along with enjoy and learn from in the process. 

Seven Things About DV...

1. Have to have my coffee in the mornings.  It's a must!  No special latte or Starbucks...just give me a normal pot with a little sweetener. 
2. Once upon a time I was in law enforcement, and yes...I do have real handcuffs.  :)
3. I can be very OCD about certain things, and then not at all about other similar things.  It's kind of weird. 
4. Growing up I said I would never act like my parents did when I became a dad.  Well guess what?  I do and it drives me nuts! 
5. I do have a young daughter and I do play Barbies with her. (shhh don't tell anyone) Only when I play Ken is a subtle Dom that tries to control all the hot Barbies.  LOL! 
6. As much as I enjoy writing on here, I can't just sit down and write.  I have to find some motivation and a subject has to come to me.  I can't write just to write.  Within my heads it's a process I have to go through.
7. Last but not least, in case you didn't know...I love a nice ass!  :)

Some Of My Favorite Blogs (in no particular order)

A Kinksters Guide by Sexperts
Dark Pretty Fun by Sss
Fondlers Anonymous by FA
Being Aisha by Aisha
Pain's Pleasure by painspleasure
Sexual Dynamics: Memoirs or a Discerning Dom by discerningdom
What does it mean to be Dominant? by Sir J
subtypical by Dannah Bridger
Sweet Surrender by Kitty
Taking The Reins by Southern Sir
The Monkey's Journey by monkey
The Power Exchange by Omega and mouse
What I Wonder by greengirl
willing slut, apply within by littleone
Beautiful Submission by blossom

Thanks again to those that chose me on their list, as well as all those that write and share your views and stories on your blogs.  That's why we are all here anyway.  Keep up the good work everyone, and thanks for being willing to open up and share for the benefit of us all.


July 6, 2012

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF) Mid-Year Playoffs - Rd 2

Welcome to Round 2 of the FAF Mid-Year Playoffs.  We had a great turnout with voting last week.  Three of last week's choices have advanced to the finals.  The top three vote getters from this week will also advance.   As a reminder, here are the rules:

- There are 18 winners so far for 2012.
- Nine were posted last week (Rd 1) and nine this week (Rd 2).
- The top three from each week will move on to the finals.
- In the case of a tie in the first two rounds, I will decide my favorite and which ass moves on.
- In the case of a tie in the finals, we will have a runoff vote. 
- In the first two weeks, I have it set so you can vote for more than one picture, allowing you
  to cast up to three votes for your three favorites to move on.
- In the finals, you will only be allowed to cast one vote.

We will do this again at the end of the year (Year End Playoffs) to decide the winner of the second half of the year.  That winner and the winner of the Mid-Year and Year End Playoffs will then be put against each other to decide the Overall Favorite Ass of 2012.

On with the voting and Round 2 of the FAF Mid-Year Playoffs!










July 5, 2012

FAF Playoffs - Rd 1 Advancers

The following pictures are the ones advancing to the finals of the Mid-Year Playoffs.  You the voters chose these three as your favorites from the Round 1 choices.  Round 2 pictures will be posted on...well, Friday of course!

July 3, 2012

The Fear Of...

I have noticed over my years of being a Dominant (that made me sound old didn't it?!?!  lol!), that there are a lot of of very strong women that want and need to be involved in a power exchange relationship.  Many of these women have a personality than no one would ever think that they would want to submit to someone.  They are very independent, strong, confident, attractive, and project themselves well in front of others.  Their daily lives many times consists of having to be in charge, lead, and direct.  They are in positions of authority in the workplace or community.  They are very goal oriented, and even perfectionists in all they do.  Even to the point of being a bit OCD in having to have everything a certain way.

So, why on earth would a woman like this be interested in a relationship where she has no power or control?  Why would she want to submit and give control to someone else?  The simple answer...because she needs it.   Many times, this type woman is in these positions because of her drive to succeed.  Yet, she craves direction.  Her need to achieve, being able to follow direction, accomplish all that has been asked her, and move up the ladder within her career has gained her all she has sought.  But, now she has surpassed being able to follow directives and achieve what has been asked of her.  She is now the one in charge, and that may not sit well with her needs.  The irony is that her need to please and do well, and flourishing under others, is the very thing that moved her up into a position of having to guide others beneath her.  Doing so well for others, at least in the workplace, is what got her noticed, promoted, and put in charge. 

In being able to submit, it is her release.  It's gets her back in balance, and it the one place she can let go of the pressures of everything else and relax.  She feels most comfortable in being in a structured environment where she is accountable to someone else.  A place where someone else has oversight of her.  For many overachieving women, though, this brings on a new problem within the D/s realm.  That problem is Fear.  It's not fear of her partner, fear of what he may do, or fear of what he will require of her.  It's fear of not being enough.  Fear of disappointing him. 

In the workplace, there are boundaries.  She can only be pushed so far.  In her relationship, she knows she can constantly be pushed.  She can be pushed further than in anything else.  This can bring out a fear of disappointment.  In her mind, this is worse than anything that could be done to her.  She is used to being able to accomplish her goals and succeed.  But in D/s, she will be pushed mentally, emotionally, and physically like in nothing else.  She will be made to bare herself, emotionally and physically,  The one thing that can hold her back is the fear of not being enough to her Dominant.  Not being enough as a woman.  Not being enough as a submissive.  Not being able to give enough of herself, and the fear that she will disappoint her Dom in her efforts.  She is used to giving her all and being successful.  Yet, in D/s she is afraid that she will not be as successful and will let her Dominant down.  This fear can take over and cause a lot of problems in the relationship if not noticed and handled properly. 

Luckily for us Doms, this can be a good thing.  With some care and attention, and lots of communication, this can be addressed.  In handling this carefully, showing her what she means to you, and that you have no worry at all on your side about her ability to please you, she can find comfort in her abilities and what she means to you.  It takes a lot of care, support and reassurance.  But in the end, this process can bring you both closer, build the trust level to be stronger, and she will respect you more for the Dominant you are in helping, supporting and guiding her.  She will respect and believe in you more as a man, for taking the time to show her that her fears are unfounded, and just how grateful you are for all she is and gives to you. 

Fear of being a disappointment is something all Dominants need to be aware of abut their submissives. In the Doms mind, it may be completely unfounded.  But in her mind, it is very real.  And most importantly, if it is real to her, then it better become real to you.  Do not make light of it and push it aside.  Be very aware of it, and learn how to deal with it.  She will appreciate you more for understanding and working her through this mental block.  To me, it's part of the process in being a good leader and Dom for her.  It isn't always just fun play and games.  There are serious situations that sometimes need to be addressed.  It can take time, as well, to work through these issues.  But, the end result in taking this time and working through this together, is well worth all the effort.