March 26, 2010

Passion and Need

There is just something about in a relationship with someone that has so much passion it is almost indescribeable.  Someone that has a fire that burns so hot it can't be put out.  And not just any passion, but a passion for you. 

I have been in relationships where I have the passion and total need for someone, but it wasn't reciprocated.  I have been involved with the contrary of them having it for me, but I just didn't feel it the same way.  It's when the two of you have the same feeling of want, need and passion for each other, that the relationship almost becomes magical.  There is nothing like being so into someone that it almost drives you batty.  Yet, at the same time they feel the same way about you.  It's the knowing that the other person is as into you as you are them that really gets things going. 

Then as things really move forward the NEED realy starts to creep in.  When that person needs you and has to have what you offer.  Is there anything better?  In the context of most of the things I write about (D/s), need is everything.  It's what makes things operate like a well oiled machine.  A sub that really needs her Dom, and all he can offer her.  A Dom that needs his sub, and all she gives him in return.  Without need, it's just vanilla.  Feeling the need, understanding it, accepting it, and not being afraid of it is vital.  A sub needs her Dom, the control he gives her, and it makes her feel safe and secure with where she is.  Without it she is lost.  this also goes for a Dom.  If he didn't need his sub, then what's the point?!?! 

We all want to have that person to need and to need us.  We all have feelings and personalities that contain needs, and we all want tofeed that need as much as possible.  To have the need and passion that makes you want to crawl across the table just to indulge in each other because you can't wait any longer...well, that's just priceless!


  1. Wow...wonderful description of the need, DV! :) I especially like the part where you specify that one must not be afraid of the need. Many of us in D/s, if not all of us, have dealt with (or are currently dealing with) that fear. Learning to let go can indeed be frightening, but there is so much to be gained in that need and in fully reciprocating...ahhhhh... Very well put, DV!

    Baby Girl :)

  2. Love this post! Yes...D/s is all about need. I find myself using that word a lot.

    I used to be afraid to express my needs. It felt selfish, yet, I am always there to take care of everyone else's needs. I longed for someone to let me express my needs and want to meet them. My Dom meets my needs. I hope he needs to meet those needs.

    Interestingly, while I was being mentored and we were going over our "needs vs. wants" list, my Dom said to me, "I am here to meet your needs not your wants."

  3. DV Sir,

    I find myself nodding my head and thanking the stars that I have O in my life.


  4. BG...
    So many women are afraid of what they feel...mostly I think because they don't understand it and/or aren't familiar with the feeling. Or they could feel ike they aren't supposed to feel needy. A lot of it is fear of the unknown, I believe. But once you learn to accept it, know it is ok, and let it go, then you can be free like never before.

    There is a big difference in needs and wants. Your Dom is right, he is there to meet your needs, but also some of your wants and desires. Those wants, once you have them, can become needs as well. I'm sure he has needs as well, and they are expressed in his time with you. Maybe not verbally, but he expresses them. I'm also sure he wants to meet your needs and keep his sub as contolled and balanced as possible. Part of a Dom's need to meet his sub's needs.

    Keep nodding! I know you understand, and should be very thankful for O. :)


  5. In the film "Broadcast News," Albert Brooks states, "Wouldnt it be great if 'needy' was a GOOD thing?

    Looks like you've discovered such a world.