Principles of "The Art Of War" in D/s

The Art Of War - written by Sun Tzu.  This book was written somewhere around 600 B.C., and is widely considered one of the foremost books on the strategy of warfare.  It is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, book about strategy in war, yet is still considered to have merit even to this day.

There are a lot of great leaders and military personnel that know and act based upon the principles of this book.  It doesn't matter if you were from the stone ages, where you ran at your opponent and threw rocks, or from the modern era and use satellites, drones and laser guided missiles to attack your enemy...the principles of The Art Of War still apply.  These tactics always have been and probably always will be highly regarded. 

So what does this have to do with a Dom/sub relationship you may ask?  Well...of course you know I'm going to tell you.  Did you really think I was just giving you a history lessen on warfare?!?!

One of the principles of The Art Of War is:  "Lead by example, not by force".  There are a lot of different types of Dominants out there.  Many are very forceful, overbearing, and demanding.  Maybe this works for them, and maybe there are some submissives that want/need this type of approach.  For me...not so much.  I think it is always best to lead by example.  I believe in teaching and showing my submissive.  I believe in being able to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I can't expect her to willingly follow and give herself to me if she doesn't believe in me and what I am telling her.

If I am to ask her to be totally open and share her thoughts and feelings, I should first do the same.  If I am to ask her to give herself to me, she should be able to see that I am giving and devoting myself to her.  Give her a reason to believe in you.  Let her see that you are following your own advice.  When this is done, she is much more likely to believe in you as a Dominant and a person.  She will be much more hesitant to submit and follow when it is only because you have demanded it of her. Forcing someone to do something may get results, but not the end results you may want.  Leading by example will build trust and respect.  And we all know how important those two elements are in a D/s relationship.

We hear a lot about leading and guiding in TTWD.  This may be rightfully so.   Yet, how you lead and guide, as a Dominant, can make all the difference in the world.  If done the right way for you and your submissive, you can go much further and get there quicker and easier.  The wrong approach can make things much harder and delay the progress both you the Dominant and your submissive can make.  Or worse, it can destroy the relationship altogether.  Show her you care and are invested in your relationship.  Show her you are willing to do what you ask of her.  Lead by example...it will be well worth your time and effort. 

In an attempt to not make this post too long and bore you, I am splitting this into two parts.  In part two of this series on The Art OF War, I will take a look at knowing your enemy and knowing yourself.