June 15, 2011

"I Won't Let Go"

So much of what we all read about, write about, think about, etc... revolves around the dynamic of TTWD.  It has to do with the inner workings of whatever dynamic you may be involved in, and how that affects your play and daily life.  Yet, daily life sometimes can creep in and create issues.  Oh hell...who am I kidding?!?!  Sometimes daily life doesn't creep, it runs at us full speed and blindsides us, like a Linebacker coming from the weak side and absolutely leveling an unsuspecting Quarterback.  You know the kind of hit I'm talking about...the one where you wonder how the Quarterback could even still be alive, no less get up and keep playing. 

It can happen to us all.  That's just the way life is.  It is unrelenting, vicious, and happens out of the blue.  This is when the acumen of a Dominant is seen with clarity by his submissive.  When she is down and facing life obstacles and misfortunes...this is when A dominant needs to step up and be a real man.  I'm not speaking about a man of the Dominant persuasion.  He needs to be able to shed his Dominant cape when the situation calls for it.  He needs to become a mortal man and be there for his submissive.  He needs to be her best friend, her shoulder, her counselor, and be there for her in any way she may require.  He needs to offer her all the comfort and support he has, and then some.  He needs to be her rock and her foundation. She will see this and will take notice.  How a Dom behaves during these tough times, in her eyes, will define the kind of man he really is.

I have been told before... "Don't worry about my problems.  I don't mean to unload on you and bring you down with my weight."  You know what I say to this?  Hogwash!!!  When she is happy...I am happy.  When she is sad...I am sad for her.  What makes her happy...I enjoy.  What causes her grief...I want to destroy.  Her problems are my problems and together we face and deal with them.  A good Dominant will be fully invested in his submissive.  From the good, to the bad, to the otherwise.  If it affects her, then it affects him.  He isn't there just for the fun and play moments.  He should be there for every moment.  He should be willing to ride the waves of life with her, whether it is going up one side, or coming back down the other side. In the end this will bring you closer and strengthen the binds between you. 

I heard a song today that made me think of this very thing.  It's about being there for your partner.  It's about offering comfort and stability.  It's about letting them know you are there for them no matter what.  It's letting them know that their fight is also your fight, and you will be there for them no matter what.  These lyrics (chorus and refrain listed) are so strong to me, and are words I live by:

Rascal Flatts - I Won't Let Go

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
you're gonna make it
Yeah I know you can make it

Always be strong for her.  Always be there for her when she needs it most.  Be willing to give of yourself in every way possible.  Be willing to hold, comfort, and support her likes she needs and most definitely deserves.  And remember..someday you just may need it yourself.


  1. very nice post, thanks for sharing. :)

  2. Beautiful song, and heart warming post :)

  3. I shouldn't have read this today. Made me cry. I want to believe such a thing Is possible. But I think deep inside I never believe when someone says "I won't let go." Eventually I push them to go. All this to say...maybe a sub must be willing to let go for her Dom to not let go. Which comes first? Guess its a process.

    Ok end rambles.

    Beautiful post..


  4. To respectfully disagree, or at least argue a point, I think what you've described is a very nice relationship. However that may help the relationship between the Dom and the sub, it is because that is the type of relationship that has been negotiated.

    There is a broad area of grey between the "just for funsies", and the full on "I love you". And in between is still perfectly functional within the realm of TTWD.

    That said, yes, on some level it is likely that we are all searching for a person who will stand by us through it all, that person just may or may not be part of TTWD.

  5. Dannah, sl, and cuddly...
    thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed the post.

    I think it is a mutual desire on both sides. It's not a matter, to me anyway, of who is pushing and pulling. It's a matter of both of you being fully involved and invested and not wanting to let go. There are other problems that will have to be addressed if one is holding on tight and the other is trying to pull away. It takes both people wanting and needing to be there to make it work.

    Feel free to disagree anytime you like. I'm always game for a spirited debate, and never claim to be right all the time, so...convince me I'm wrong. ;)

    I agree there is a lot of other areas and types of relationships, and this may not apply to all of them. I typically write from my view and where I stand, and for me and how I feel in general, this applies. It certainly may not apply to all. This also is geared at those involved in an actual relationship, and not just those that just play for the fun of playing. This isn't just for those in TTWD either, as it can apply to a vanilla relationship as well. All my writing tends to be about those involved in a relationship together, that is at least meant to be meaningful, and have a lot of emotions involved.

    Thanks for pointing out your views. It is a point well taken and should not be overlooked.