April 30, 2011

Solidifying Feelings

In my last real post I wrote about time and distance.  We looked at how that can be difficult on a relationship, especially one that involves TTWD.  When a submissive comes to rely on her Dominant so much, or even a Dom needing his sub, time apart and distance between you can be very hard.  There are needs that aren't being met.  There is control that can be lost.  The mind can begin to wander and lose focus.  Each side of a couple can begin to drift if attention isn't paid to this time apart, and measures taken to ensure that everything between you stays strong and firm.

Even in tough times like this, there can be an upside.  There can be good that can come from this.  I was reminded of this very thing yesterday.  It made everything come to light in a different and better way.  It made time and distance seem worthwhile...at least on this occasion.  Even though I don't see time and distance as a something anyone of us want, there are times when it can be good.  There are times when it will make a relationship stronger and will bring a couple closer for the long haul.  I will admit that I have had trouble with seeing this myself, in the past.  Many of us are more concerned about the present and the now, and it can be hard to look forward long term.  Especially when you have needs that you need met RIGHT NOW!!!

By know you are asking "what could be good about this?"  I'll tell you!  When you spend time apart, especially when you have very limited contact with your partner, or maybe none at all, it gives you time to think.  It gives you time to reflect.  It gives you time mull over all the two of you have together.  This time apart can help you understand just how much you need each other.  It can help you realize just how much you rely on each other.  It can help you see just how much your partner really does for you, mentally emotionally, and physically.  It can enable to you see just how important TTWD is to you, and how much you truly do want and need a D/s dynamic (or whatever your dynamic of choice may be).  It can solidify all your feelings in a way that you may not have experienced before.  The feelings you have for each other, and the feelings you have about the dynamic you choose to be a part of together.  This can be a great thing.  It can be a beautiful thing.  In the long run, it can make your relationship much stronger by being tested and put in a position that makes you realize just what you have and how much you need it.

So, there is an up side to time and distance.  There are times that separation can be a good thing.  This sort of fits the old analogy of stepping back so you can see the forest for the trees.  Time apart can be equivalent to stepping back.  It can let you see the bigger picture and see what is most important to you.  At times we all need to be able to step back, remove ourselves from the middle of the hooplah, and see the overall picture.  We can learn from this and gain a fresh perspective.  I for one like the view I see as I am away from the tree and looking at the entire forest.  I hope your view is just a beautiful as mine.


  1. *smiles* Nice way of looking at thing.

  2. Being a sub I usually look at things from a subs point of view. The statement you made "even a Dom needing his sub", this is something that I never really thought about.
    The D is always so strong and it just seems so natural that I never thought about how a D needs a sub, gives me a new perspective to think about.
    Thank you.

  3. so basically if I understand your premise properly would could sum it up - absence makes the heart grow fonder. Feel free to use that.

    Just kidding I know exactly what you mean as my girl is near the beginning of a 10 day trip away. Just east of you in fact.

  4. yeah, but i need some forest time...soon!!! :)

  5. DV, what a lovely post. I'm traveling at the moment and your thoughts fit perfectly with the *big picture* perspective I've been experiencing.

    Glad to hear your forest view is beautiful!:)


  6. I dont know if I could do it.

    Great post.

  7. Interesting perspective on distance.
    As a sub distance is often difficult for me because it requires a shifting of modes that is hard to step back out of when the distance is bridged.
    Though it is true, there's nothing like a view from afar to make one appreciate the entire forest.