April 13, 2011

The Road Leads To Now

All roads lead to here!  That is what I believe.  Or a better say to say it would be that all the roads I have been down led to here.  I am not a very religious person, and not too big on philosophy.  Having said that, I can't say that I don't believe in some type of higher power.  No, this isn't going to be a post on religion.  I learned a long time ago that there are two things you never debate with people...religion and politics.  It doesn't matter what you say or what you do, people tend to have very set views on these topics, and each side can always have a valid point.  You will never change anyone's mind about these things.  You will just debate back and forth until you are blue in the face, and in the end, they still have their view and you still have yours. 

But that is not what this post is about.  It is about the journey.  The journey of life and it's experiences that we all move along.  I think to some degree that things happen for a reason.  That all we go through in life makes us what and who we are today.  That doesn't mean that your experiences made you either submissive or Dominant.  That is ingrained in your core psyche and personality on a much deeper level.  Yet, the general person we become, and a lot of our views and thoughts are based upon our life experiences.  I think life prepares us for what lies ahead.  We learn from our experiences, good and bad, and that helps us to be better equipped to deal with the future.  It helps us mature.

We don't always know or understand why we go through certain things in our life.  Many times we think we are in a place and are prepared to deal with it.  Yet, it turns out to be a stepping stone to what comes next.  I have left comments on several blogs lately about this very thing.  The blogger is going through a rough time with a breakup or something similar.  As hard as it is, once you get your feet back under you, you can see what you got out of the situation, what you learned and gained from it, and you are now better prepared for what lies ahead.  For me personally, I have had several relationships, vanilla marriages and D/s relationships, I can now look back on and see that they weren't the perfect situation.  They weren't meant to last.  But I did learn valuable lessons about life and have matured through these experiences.  Especially in D/s, I wasn't as prepared or as ready as I thought I was, and neither were the subs.  But together we learned about each other and ourselves, and became better people for it as we moved on.  Although this is not always easy to see and deal with at the time. 

I was recently asked about not only what I see for now, but 10, 20 and 30 years down the road.  Well, I see me being the perfect dominant of course.  LOL!  Ok, being serious, I think all I have learned has made me a better person.  It has taught me about relationships, what makes them good and what certainly harms them.  I have learned more about myself over the past few years than probably in my entire life.  Especially in being a Dominant, how I fit into that, how to be one that works for me and for a submissive, and how to better care for her and treat her like she deserves and expects.  Does that mean I'm perfect?  Not by any means.  But I am much better suited for what I feel lies ahead, and able to deal with a relationship on many levels, that can be lasting and meaningful.  If I hadn't been through all I have, then I would not have the understanding and knowledge I do today. 

I found a song recently that pretty much says this very thing.  Every action leads to the next, which leads to the next.  If one thing in your past was different, then it would change everything after that.  The song is called "This" by Darius Rucker.  The chorus is:

For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to

Below is the video you can watch as well.  And just remember...all things happen for a reason and lead us to where we are supposed to be.  I for one, even with all I have been through in my life, am happy with who I am and what has gotten me to this point.  It wasn't all fun and games, but it all did lead me to where I am now.  Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.  I am very happy with where my road has led me, and look forward to the continued journey ahead...with a continued 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 years of the possibilities.



  1. i really like 'this' and can't wait to see how the journey unfolds! :)

  2. Beautiful song and beautiful post! Thanks for sharing.


  3. DV,

    Interesting post, I enjoyed reading.


  4. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. "This" is exactly what I needed today. xo - E.

  5. Hi DV

    what a great post, i really enjoyed reading this and its so true, like you i love where i am now. A brilliant song too, a really feelgood song.

    blossom xx

  6. Thank you all for your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I could influence you in some way.


  7. The reason we all love you DV is that you seem to understand and reconize that you are not perfect and you are willing to learn from your expirences

    PS love that song

  8. Awesome post DV. With the hectic things for M and I...this was a much needed grounded reminder. Thank you as always.


  9. reina...thank you so much. No one is perfect, and there is always room to learn and grow and improve. Anyone who thinks otherwise is...well, they are stuck an frankly they scare me.

    BB...glad you could find some solace together in regards to this. Sometimes, you have to step back from the tree so you can see the forest. It's good to know I could give you that view of what's most important, even when everything else seems hectic and overwhelming.