April 15, 2010
Ownership and Betrayal
Maybe this should be titled "Ownership and Betrayal (or lack thereof)". I will tell you why I think this. I saw this picture and it immediately made me think about her being owned. Not for one moement did I think about the land or actual physical real estate to which I'm sure the sign is referring.
Maybe I'm a bit off center with my thinking. Maybe the rest of the world is. I don't know. But when you are in this lifestyle and you are a Dominant, you look at your submissive or slave as your property, eventually anyway. She has committed herself to you and you own her. She has given you the most precious thing possible...herself. She belongs to you and no one else. She is yours and yours alone to do with as you so choose. OK, OK, at least within reason, but that's a whole other discussion. This is not something you can go out and purchase like any other piece of property. It's not on the shelf at the supermarket. You can't get it at Wal-Mart. you can't order it online. (ok well maybe you can, but...) So how does a Dominant come to own a submissive. YOU EARN IT! You earn the right to her. You earn a place in her heart and soul. This is something that money can't buy.
So...as usual this got me to thinking. I consider ownership of a sub to be very simialr to marriage. Whether you wear a ring or have a formal ceremony makes no difference. It is the devotiona dn commitment to each other that makes the relationship what it is. When my mind gets on a subject and it flows here there and everywhere. Not necessarily in an effort to cover all the angles and possibilities. It just happens to roam around on it's own picking pieces up here and there. If you look at traditional relationships and marriages, they come and go. Divorce rates seem to be as high as ever. People are having affairs much more commonly these days. And, this is not just men, but women as well. Just look at all the websites dedicated to sex, swingers, affairs, etc... there is even a well known site, Ashley Madison, which is specifically geared towards married people looking for something on the side.
If we look back at a D/s relationship, you just don't seem to have quite the issues as a traditional relationship, as far as affairs and sneaking around. Maybe I'm naive and blind. It is possible! But they don't seem to be near as prevalent, and you don't hear about it much, whether it's on these blogs, on other boards, or wherever. I'm not saying that these relationships don't end and last forever. So do and some don't. Yet, the style of relationship, the intensity, the level of commitment and time, and the level of mental and emotional involvement seem to lend itself to being a bit more affair proof. Betrayal of what is the basis of everything in the relationship does not show it's head very ofetn, at least in my opinion. This could be due to more open communication, and deeper feeling of commitment, and much more being at stake.
Maybe the vanilla world should take a look at BDSM relationships and take notice. Maybe they could learn a thing or two about what it takes to have a deeply involved relationship. Maybe I'm totally off base and wrong in this entire post. Yet, it does appear to me that the ownership of a sub and the lack of betrayal in these relationships seem to be correlated, at least on some level.
What do you think? What are your thoughts? Am I wrong? Tell me your opinion!