The Epiphany (Part 2)

Here she was feeling weak and vulnerable.  She had an emotional breakdown of sorts, and she did all she knew to do...call him.  What she didn't understand at the time, is in his eyes she wasn't weak and vulnerable.  She was gaining strength.  She was finding herself.  She was on a journey of discovery, and, well...that is just what she was doing...discovering herself.  This man was enabling her to see a side of herself she had never seen.  She was feeling emotions about him and about what she had been experiencing like she had never felt for anyone.  She reached down deep and reached out to him.  She needed help and needed guidance.  There was no one else with whom she could talk.  No one else would understand.  But in her heart she knew she didn't want to talk with someone else.  She wanted him all along.  She reached out and he showed up.  That in itself spoke volumes to her.


When he approached she had fear in her eyes.  How could she feel so much?  How could she feel about him the way she does?  Why is all this coming down on her in one big crashing wave?  Why is she so willing to do anything for this man?  She's never had anyone she was willing to do absolutely anything with or for...but she would do anything this man asked or required of her, without question.   Why?  She didn't understand, but she knew he would.  She knew he could guide her through this.  That is what he has told her he would do...guide and lead, and help her through anything and everything.  She was seeing this in him.  He wasn't just words.  He was much, much more.  This was part of what had her so emotional.  She knew he was much more.  He was everything she had ever wanted.  He was everything she had ever dreamed about.  Being with him was like being in another universe.  One where everything else was gone and nothing else mattered.  It was just the two of them together.  She had never been with anyone that made her feel as important and special as he did.  He had swept her off her feet and she knew it.  The best part was he didn't even go out of his way to do any of this.  He was just being himself.  She had never met anyone like him, and knew there was a good chance she never would again.


He asked her to tell him what she was feeling...going through her head...what was catching her off guard.  She knew she had called him out here.  She was the one that needed to talk.  She knew that he would make her talk.  That was the most important thing in the world to this man...being able to openly have a conversation about anything, good or bad.  She wasn't used to being this open.  She never had anyone she felt comfortable enough being around to be that open.  That's just another thing on her list.  With him she felt that comfortable.  She felt like she could tell him anything.  She had already told him more and let him see inside of her like no one else ever had.  Yet, when asked what was wrong, although she wanted to speak, nothing would come out.  She stopped and started several times.  There was so much she didn't even know where to start. 


Finally she began talking and explaining and asking questions.  He would listen and answer, listen and answer.  He would ask his own questions and give responses to her answers.  He would tell stories and give scenarios and make jokes.  They had a serious conversation, one that could possibly even be seen as life altering, yet it was kept light and flowed well.  She felt at ease.  She felt comfort.  She remembered and knew exactly why she called him to talk.  Exactly why she has opened up to him the way she has done.  He actually listens to her.  He remembers things about her.  He doesn't look down or talk down to her.  They talk as if they are equals.  Her views, her thoughts, her opinions...they matter.  She has a voice and she knows it will be heard.  Yet, at the same time, she respects and wants his voice, opinions and guidance.  He doesn't have to do what she says or what she wants.  She knows that.  But he listens, he pays attention, he cares, and he always takes it into account.  She would do anything he said and follow him anywhere without question or hesitation.  Yet, he still cares enough to make her important and a priority in his life.  He doesn't take advantage of her and her feelings.  He doesn't take her for granted.  He may be Dominant and he may have power and control, and she may love that and give every ounce of herself to him in every...but in the end he treats her as his partner.  As they are in this together side by side. 


Why was this happening?  What had she done to deserve this?  Why was she so special?  She was finally realizing that none of the answers to these questions mattered.  He was into her for being her.  It was her that he cared for.  It was her that he wanted to be with.  It was her that he wanted to lead and guide and have by his side.  The more they talked the more she realized what she was really feeling.  The more she realized how much she really does need him.  How much she can't stand the thought of being without him.  The ultimate epiphany for her was facing and accepting that she loved this man with all she had.  She had fallen for him, and fallen hard.  Yet, the landing was soft.  Why?  Because he was there to catch her.  He always told her if she fell he would be there to ease the landing and catch her, and he was.  She trusted him unequivocally.  She would trust this man with her very life.  There were things he could say to her and make her melt on the spot.  He could make her instantly aroused with one sentence, and bring her to her knees in another.  But nothing he ever said could make her as weak or affect her and make her feel like the way he was about to do.  Nothing had ever even come close.  He knew how she felt.  She didn't even have to come right out and say it, because he knew.  He always knows.  He knows her better than she knows herself sometimes.  Then in one motion he gently placed his hands on the sides of her head, he pulled her in and held her so tight, and then leaned down and out of nowhere whispered in her ear..."I love you too baby!"