Chemistry 101

There is a topic that has been on my mind lately.  It goes way beyond TTWD.  Or actually, it happens outside of TTWD.  It is totally separate, yet is the most vital and basic of all necessities.  I have had multiple conversations recently in regards to this.  It has nothing to do with giving yourself to someone, or desiring to be in control of someone.  It has nothing to do with being submissive or being dominant.  It is and has everything to do with...CHEMISTRY.   

There is something very raw and basic about attraction.  Yet, initial physical attraction only goes so far.  There is so much beyond attraction.  For two people to go further and get beyond initial attraction there has to be a connection.  There has to be chemistry between them.  They have to understand each other, be able to think along the same lines, have similar wants and needs, and have similar goals.  Many times the chemistry between two people can't even be expressed and put into words.  Yet, it is an electrifying feeling that you know is there.  It can even be a gut feeling where things just seem to fit into place and just feel right.

I have met women in the past, based on our mutual desire for D/s.  We may email a bit, and then plan a meeting.  But after the meeting it just wasn't there for me.   Whether it was lack of attraction, lack of a connection and chemistry, or whatever the reason.  Sometimes I just haven't been able to put my finger on what the reason is, but it just didn't feel right.  We could both want a D/s dynamic and be on the same page with that, but if the rest isn't there, then for me it just isn't going to work.  I need more!  I need a mental and emotional connection.  I don't want just a physical relationship with someone.  I need a relationship on many levels.  I don't want just her body...I want her mind.  Once you really connect with someone, have great chemistry, and have an emotional connection, then the physical aspect of the relationship can go so much further than just a physical relationship alone.

The example I have used in the past is this...you can be a super-model, be gorgeous, and want me to do every bad thing to you in the world that sounds great to me.  But...if you are dumb as a rock, can't hold a conversation, and can't stimulate my mind to some degree on an intellectual level, then it will never work.  I'm ultimately not going to be or stay interested.  I feel the more you connect with someone on a mental and emotional level, the more attractive they become.  Physical attributes can only take you so far, at least with me.

When you find someone, that special person you totally have this chemistry with, then it is the greatest feeling in the world.  Nothing feels better.  You can enjoy talking about anything under the sun.  You feel wanted as much as you want.  You feel important and like a priority to them.  You feel giddy and like you are smiling all the time for no reason.  You get overly excited every time you see an email from them, or their name and number on your caller ID.  You get butterflies just thinking about them.  You can't wait until you get to see them again.  It's not even about the sex or potential sex (which may be absolutely fantastic in its own right).  It's more about being with that person.  It's about how you feel and they make you feel when you are with them.  It's like an electrical current flowing back and forth when you touch each other.  It's all the little things that may normally sound silly and pointless, but are important now.

Having that special chemistry is something we should all want and need.  To need to have that feeling with someone.  That person that you call your best friend, your partner in crime, your lover, your confidante, and any other term that you can describe.  When you find that with someone it is truly special and amazing.  It is something you need to hold onto tight and never let it go.  It doesn't come around everyday.  Some people look for this for what seems like a lifetime.  Give all you have to that person, and never regret being open and vulnerable to them.  Let them see every piece of you, just as you want to see that in them.  When you do find and have this, whatever dynamic plays out within the relationship will be that much deeper and more involved.  You will both give more and get more in return.  It is something to never take for granted.  Love it and nurture it every single day as though it was your last.  It's not too hard to remember what things were like before this person came along.  So...do whatever it takes to keep the fire going.  Don't let go!