March 26, 2011

The Epiphany (Part 1)

The look in her eyes was one of being scared.  It was one of wanting and needing so much.  It was one of begging for reassurance and explanation.  It was evident she has entered new territory like she had never felt before.  She had never been treated the way he treated her.  Like she was important.  Like she was a priority.  Like she mattered.  She was getting all from him she had ever dreamed about and wantedLove...care...respect...control...freedom to let go and be herself.  She had never been able to show anyone all sides of herself.  She had always been guarded and put up barricades.  Only certain people saw certain sides of her, but no one had ever been inside those walls and seen all of her.  

He was like no one she had ever met before.  She never knew she could feel so comfortable and free with someone.  She knew he loved her by his actions and his words.  But this was different...he was different.  He was touching her in places and ways no one ever had.  He was in her head.  He was in her heart.  He was in her every breath.  She felt him from the top of her head to the tips of her fingers and toes and everywhere in between, as he ran through her body in unison with her own flow of blood.  He was consuming her entire being.  This was so new to her.  It was scary to be this consumed.  Her logical mind told her this just can't be.  Her emotions told her to embrace it with all she had.  And that's just what she was doing.  Logic was slowly coming around.  She was beginning to believe this could be real.  It could be more than just a dream.  Reality could be this good.

She was feeling overwhelmed with emotions.  She was unsure just what was happening.  She had never felt this rush of  so many things at one time.  She had that moment where it all clicked and all came together.  She had an epiphany where it all began to make sense.  This was cemented in her psyche with what followed.  They had just spent an afternoon together having orgasm after orgasm.  She had given herself to him...she was his.  She was discovering what it is like to let go...to be herself, and accept all he has to offer her.  He hadn't pushed too hard, just small nudges in the right direction.  He made her feel things on a level she hadn't felt at any time in her life.  Even normal vanilla activities seemed to be much different and better.  How can this be?  How can he make her feel this way?  What was happening to her?  He had a power and control over her.  One that no one had ever had over her, and certainly one that she never let anyone have previously.  Yet, she wanted him to have it.  She needed him to have it.  She had needed this her whole life and didn't even know it.  Now it was sinking in.  But why?  Why now?  The reason...because he pointed it out.  He asked her point blank..."Do you know how much control and power I have over you and your body?"  

This didn't really begin to sink in until her drive home.  Then, just as if she had driven her car straight into a brick wall, it smacked her right in the face full force.  The emotions of all they had were bubbling up.  She loved him and she was admitting that to herself.  She truly needed him, and she was finally admitting that.  She felt things for him she couldn't even describe.  She was beginning to really be able to understand much of what he had been telling her.  She could feel it in her chest like a weight pressing down.  All that did was confirm her trust and belief in him.  What he had told her was right.  What he had told her was coming true.  He had told her that certain things you can't truly understand until you are there, feel them, and experience them for yourself.  It was now making more sense.  She was understanding.  And most of all, she knew he was right...he did have more power and control over her than she even came close to admitting and realizing.  The most odd part to her was that she wanted that.  She wanted him to have that control.  She had never wanted anyone to have control of her, but him...with him...she wanted him to have it all.  She needed to give herself to him and be his as much as she needs water to survive.  On this ride home, all of this came to the surface and came bubbling out.  She broke down.  It was too much.  It was overwhelming.  How could this one man bring out so much in her, she thought?

What was she going to do?  How would she deal with this?  How could she possibly process all of this?  She did the only thing she knew to possibly do...she picked up the phone and called him.  She said how much she missed and needed him, and needed to talk.  If it wasn't too inconvenient, she needed to see him again...now.  She shouldn't have been surprised when he said he would be happy to.  When he said he was on his way and would be there in 15 minutes.  When she saw him, it was a relief...a joy...a release.  She needed him and he came to her.  She wasn't used to that.  She wasn't used to someone showing her how important she is, or at least feeling that way.  She needed him right now more than ever, and he came without hesitation.  He was there for her just like he said he would be.  Once again he backed his words with his actions.  She was seeing now more than ever how important she was to him as well.  He really was there to take care of her, guide her, and protect her. She could feel it.  She knew it.  It wasn't just words.  He meant what he said. 

(to be continued)

5 comments:

Mina said...

"Love...care...respect...control...freedom to let go and be herself. She had never been able to show anyone all sides of herself. She had always been guarded and put up barricades. Only certain people saw certain sides of her, but no one had ever been inside those walls and seen all of her."

I feel exactly this way about my Mistress. You captured the submissive mind so well. I really enjoyed reading this; i'm just coming to my own sort of reckoning.

J said...

DV,

You have a gift with words.

Joss

Anonymous said...

that's my word! ;)

Anonymous said...

k has yet to do all this with Dragon, so wonderfully sexy posts like this make her want to take a cold shower.

Nice though :)

k

One Little Girl said...

Beautifully written. This is what I want more than anything - to be able to give myself fully to a Dom who will appreciate everything we are together. I can only wish I can find it someday ...