Striving For More

This picture...this picture...I absolutely love it!  I have stared at it off and on all morning trying to put into words what I see and feel.  I have had trouble finding those words.  Why?  Because it says so much to me.  This picture speaks to me...it speaks to my heart and soul.  It rouses feelings that are hard for me to describe.  A million things go through my head, but getting those thoughts organized to be able to put them down into legible articulation, well that's a different story.

To me this exudes strength.  It speaks of love.  It speaks of care.  It's having someone under your care and showing the gentle strength to lead and guide her the way she needs and deserves.  From her side, it shows her strength to be his.  It shows her willingness to stand by his side.  Her desire to be his.  It represents her need to be his, and be there for him.  I see his desire to bare himself to her, and her baring her all for him as well.  It is mutual adoration.  

Even though he towers above her, he shows a gentleness in wrapping his arm around her.  Pulling her in close to show his love and care for her.  Letting her know he will protect and defend her with all he has, in return for her devotion.  Even though he towers above her, she is calm and at peace.  This is where she needs to be.  This is where she feels safe...by his side, under his protection, knowing he would do anything for her.  Just as she gives herself to him completely and relies upon him, she does so with full trust that he will do the same for her.  

This reminded me of a post written by thesubmissivebf a few days ago.  (the post can be found here)  The words in the post ring so true to me, and how I see a D/s relationship between two people.  This is how I think a relationship like this should be. 

"When a woman submits its because she has found the strength to do so. The belief in herself to take on such a role she can only do so when she feels unconditional love and soul guiding trust. She has to understand her purpose and how important she is to Him and how important she is to herself."

A woman can only assume this role when she believes in herself...when she understands who she is, is happy with that role, and understands it.  She also has to believe in him, and his ability to guide and lead in a way that is beneficial for the growth of her as a person.  It's through love and trust that she believes in him and all he can be for her.  She has to feel it within her soul to be able to let go and be his unconditionally.  It has nothing to do with her letting go and losing who she is in being his.  It is about finding herself deep within, and being all that she can be.  It is about realizing that she is of utmost importance to him, just as he is to her.  They feed off the needs of each other, relying on each other to be all they can be for themselves and their partner.  

This is what I strive to be.  This is what I have in my sights to become.  I don't feel I can ever be enough.  I always want to be more...learn more...grow into more of the man and Dominant I desire to be.  I can have all the desire in the world, but without that special partner by my side, then the desire remains only a desire.  Having her there, that enables the desire to be put into action.  To learn from her how to be better and be more of who I am and who she needs me to be...who I need to be for myself.  That is a partnership I love being a part of...one I need in my life.  In leading and guiding, I am also pushed.  Pushed to become better. That is something we should all strive to achieve. 

Something So Special

There is something so special about trusting another person with all that you are.  There is something so special in giving yourself to someone so completely that you trust them to care for you, love you, guide you, and provide for all your needs...mentally, emotionally, and physically.  There is something so special about being able to feel like a priceless treasure to someone, by giving all you are and have to that person.

There is something so special about being trusted by another person with all that they are.  There is something so special about a person giving themself to you completely to love them, care for them, guide them, and provide for all their needs...mind, body, and soul.  There is something so special about making someone feel like a priceless treasure, by them being willing to give you all that they are and have.

There is something so special about the give and take of a D/s relationship. The outward appearance is that of one giving and the other taking.  The reality is that each person is giving the other what they need.  The reality is that each is taking what they need from the other.  The give and take ebbs and flows in perfect harmony based upon the needs and desires of each person within the couple. 

The entirety of a D/s relationship, and what it gives to each person involved, is something so special.

A Place To Truly Call Home

The way she lays her body upon me…

gives herself to me…

mind, body, and soul...

worships me…

respects and trusts me with every ounce of her being...

reliance in me to know best in all circumstances...

without demand and without force…

a willingness to be everything to me and devote all she is and can be for the betterment of “us”…

knowing she will get all of that and more in what she receives in return…

care, adoration, comfort, security...

guidance, leadership, insight...

a peace in my words...

a peace in my intentions...

a peace in the touch of my hands upon what is mine...

a strong foundation as the cornerstone of  everything she is and knows...

a foundation on which together we build this house called "us" and "this"...

a house to truly call home...

that is beauty…

that is perfection…

THAT is LOVE!

~DV~

The Epiphany (Part 2)

Here she was feeling weak and vulnerable.  She had an emotional breakdown of sorts, and she did all she knew to do...call him.  What she didn't understand at the time, is in his eyes she wasn't weak and vulnerable.  She was gaining strength.  She was finding herself.  She was on a journey of discovery, and, well...that is just what she was doing...discovering herself.  This man was enabling her to see a side of herself she had never seen.  She was feeling emotions about him and about what she had been experiencing like she had never felt for anyone.  She reached down deep and reached out to him.  She needed help and needed guidance.  There was no one else with whom she could talk.  No one else would understand.  But in her heart she knew she didn't want to talk with someone else.  She wanted him all along.  She reached out and he showed up.  That in itself spoke volumes to her.


When he approached she had fear in her eyes.  How could she feel so much?  How could she feel about him the way she does?  Why is all this coming down on her in one big crashing wave?  Why is she so willing to do anything for this man?  She's never had anyone she was willing to do absolutely anything with or for...but she would do anything this man asked or required of her, without question.   Why?  She didn't understand, but she knew he would.  She knew he could guide her through this.  That is what he has told her he would do...guide and lead, and help her through anything and everything.  She was seeing this in him.  He wasn't just words.  He was much, much more.  This was part of what had her so emotional.  She knew he was much more.  He was everything she had ever wanted.  He was everything she had ever dreamed about.  Being with him was like being in another universe.  One where everything else was gone and nothing else mattered.  It was just the two of them together.  She had never been with anyone that made her feel as important and special as he did.  He had swept her off her feet and she knew it.  The best part was he didn't even go out of his way to do any of this.  He was just being himself.  She had never met anyone like him, and knew there was a good chance she never would again.


He asked her to tell him what she was feeling...going through her head...what was catching her off guard.  She knew she had called him out here.  She was the one that needed to talk.  She knew that he would make her talk.  That was the most important thing in the world to this man...being able to openly have a conversation about anything, good or bad.  She wasn't used to being this open.  She never had anyone she felt comfortable enough being around to be that open.  That's just another thing on her list.  With him she felt that comfortable.  She felt like she could tell him anything.  She had already told him more and let him see inside of her like no one else ever had.  Yet, when asked what was wrong, although she wanted to speak, nothing would come out.  She stopped and started several times.  There was so much she didn't even know where to start. 


Finally she began talking and explaining and asking questions.  He would listen and answer, listen and answer.  He would ask his own questions and give responses to her answers.  He would tell stories and give scenarios and make jokes.  They had a serious conversation, one that could possibly even be seen as life altering, yet it was kept light and flowed well.  She felt at ease.  She felt comfort.  She remembered and knew exactly why she called him to talk.  Exactly why she has opened up to him the way she has done.  He actually listens to her.  He remembers things about her.  He doesn't look down or talk down to her.  They talk as if they are equals.  Her views, her thoughts, her opinions...they matter.  She has a voice and she knows it will be heard.  Yet, at the same time, she respects and wants his voice, opinions and guidance.  He doesn't have to do what she says or what she wants.  She knows that.  But he listens, he pays attention, he cares, and he always takes it into account.  She would do anything he said and follow him anywhere without question or hesitation.  Yet, he still cares enough to make her important and a priority in his life.  He doesn't take advantage of her and her feelings.  He doesn't take her for granted.  He may be Dominant and he may have power and control, and she may love that and give every ounce of herself to him in every...but in the end he treats her as his partner.  As they are in this together side by side. 


Why was this happening?  What had she done to deserve this?  Why was she so special?  She was finally realizing that none of the answers to these questions mattered.  He was into her for being her.  It was her that he cared for.  It was her that he wanted to be with.  It was her that he wanted to lead and guide and have by his side.  The more they talked the more she realized what she was really feeling.  The more she realized how much she really does need him.  How much she can't stand the thought of being without him.  The ultimate epiphany for her was facing and accepting that she loved this man with all she had.  She had fallen for him, and fallen hard.  Yet, the landing was soft.  Why?  Because he was there to catch her.  He always told her if she fell he would be there to ease the landing and catch her, and he was.  She trusted him unequivocally.  She would trust this man with her very life.  There were things he could say to her and make her melt on the spot.  He could make her instantly aroused with one sentence, and bring her to her knees in another.  But nothing he ever said could make her as weak or affect her and make her feel like the way he was about to do.  Nothing had ever even come close.  He knew how she felt.  She didn't even have to come right out and say it, because he knew.  He always knows.  He knows her better than she knows herself sometimes.  Then in one motion he gently placed his hands on the sides of her head, he pulled her in and held her so tight, and then leaned down and out of nowhere whispered in her ear..."I love you too baby!"
 

The Epiphany (Part 1)

The look in her eyes was one of being scared.  It was one of wanting and needing so much.  It was one of begging for reassurance and explanation.  It was evident she has entered new territory like she had never felt before.  She had never been treated the way he treated her.  Like she was important.  Like she was a priority.  Like she mattered.  She was getting all from him she had ever dreamed about and wanted.  Love...care...respect...control...freedom to let go and be herself.  She had never been able to show anyone all sides of herself.  She had always been guarded and put up barricades.  Only certain people saw certain sides of her, but no one had ever been inside those walls and seen all of her.  

He was like no one she had ever met before.  She never knew she could feel so comfortable and free with someone.  She knew he loved her by his actions and his words.  But this was different...he was different.  He was touching her in places and ways no one ever had.  He was in her head.  He was in her heart.  He was in her every breath.  She felt him from the top of her head to the tips of her fingers and toes and everywhere in between, as he ran through her body in unison with her own flow of blood.  He was consuming her entire being.  This was so new to her.  It was scary to be this consumed.  Her logical mind told her this just can't be.  Her emotions told her to embrace it with all she had.  And that's just what she was doing.  Logic was slowly coming around.  She was beginning to believe this could be real.  It could be more than just a dream.  Reality could be this good.

She was feeling overwhelmed with emotions.  She was unsure just what was happening.  She had never felt this rush of  so many things at one time.  She had that moment where it all clicked and all came together.  She had an epiphany where it all began to make sense.  This was cemented in her psyche with what followed.  They had just spent an afternoon together having orgasm after orgasm.  She had given herself to him...she was his.  She was discovering what it is like to let go...to be herself, and accept all he has to offer her.  He hadn't pushed too hard, just small nudges in the right direction.  He made her feel things on a level she hadn't felt at any time in her life.  Even normal vanilla activities seemed to be much different and better.  How can this be?  How can he make her feel this way?  What was happening to her?  He had a power and control over her.  One that no one had ever had over her, and certainly one that she never let anyone have previously.  Yet, she wanted him to have it.  She needed him to have it.  She had needed this her whole life and didn't even know it.  Now it was sinking in.  But why?  Why now?  The reason...because he pointed it out.  He asked her point blank..."Do you know how much control and power I have over you and your body?"  

This didn't really begin to sink in until her drive home.  Then, just as if she had driven her car straight into a brick wall, it smacked her right in the face full force.  The emotions of all they had were bubbling up.  She loved him and she was admitting that to herself.  She truly needed him, and she was finally admitting that.  She felt things for him she couldn't even describe.  She was beginning to really be able to understand much of what he had been telling her.  She could feel it in her chest like a weight pressing down.  All that did was confirm her trust and belief in him.  What he had told her was right.  What he had told her was coming true.  He had told her that certain things you can't truly understand until you are there, feel them, and experience them for yourself.  It was now making more sense.  She was understanding.  And most of all, she knew he was right...he did have more power and control over her than she even came close to admitting and realizing.  The most odd part to her was that she wanted that.  She wanted him to have that control.  She had never wanted anyone to have control of her, but him...with him...she wanted him to have it all.  She needed to give herself to him and be his as much as she needs water to survive.  On this ride home, all of this came to the surface and came bubbling out.  She broke down.  It was too much.  It was overwhelming.  How could this one man bring out so much in her, she thought?

What was she going to do?  How would she deal with this?  How could she possibly process all of this?  She did the only thing she knew to possibly do...she picked up the phone and called him.  She said how much she missed and needed him, and needed to talk.  If it wasn't too inconvenient, she needed to see him again...now.  She shouldn't have been surprised when he said he would be happy to.  When he said he was on his way and would be there in 15 minutes.  When she saw him, it was a relief...a joy...a release.  She needed him and he came to her.  She wasn't used to that.  She wasn't used to someone showing her how important she is, or at least feeling that way.  She needed him right now more than ever, and he came without hesitation.  He was there for her just like he said he would be.  Once again he backed his words with his actions.  She was seeing now more than ever how important she was to him as well.  He really was there to take care of her, guide her, and protect her. She could feel it.  She knew it.  It wasn't just words.  He meant what he said. 

(to be continued)

You're Not Done When You're Done

I was reading a blog yesterday with a post that hit on something that I think is not mentioned as much as it probably should be, but is a very important aspect of a D/s experience.  The specific post I read was "Worked Down" by A Daddy and His Baby Girl.  Daddy wrote the post and it was a synopsis of a scene they participated in.  He did not specifically mention the topic that I will , but eluded to it's need very well.  The topic is.......aftercare.

Most of us read about scenarios, activities, and scenes all the time.  We see how involved and intense they can be.  Most of us at some point have engaged in activities that were extremely intense as well.  Typically though, we just read and hear about the activity itself.  A very important aspect is after the scene is over and done with.  This is when it all comes together. 

After an intense session, or even a not so intense session, a sub needs time to relax and come back down to earth...or out of subspace as the case may be.  Having been through an intense situation she needs to feel all the comfort and nuturing that her Dom can give her.  She has just been through a tremendously tense and stressful situation, even if it was pleasureable.  A lot of the time it involved pain on a multitude of levels and intensities.  She has been used by her Dom for his pleasure.  She has been treated and controlled by her Dom the way he desires, and she has submitted herself to him in receiving this attention.  Yet when it's all said and done she needs to feel the love and support only he can give her.

A sub needs this down time after her session to feel her Dom's sensitive side.  She needs to be held.  She needs to be cuddled.  She needs to know and feel she has the appreciation and love she deserves for what she has given to him...her body, mind, and soul.  It is this close time together after a session that it all comes together and becomes a complete circle.  She is reassured by him of his pleasure with her, and can feel the appreciation he has for what he was able to take from her.  Without the aftercare, she can feel alone and isolated.  She can feel used and unappreciated, and not used in a good way.  Aftercare is just as important as the rest of the scene.  Aftercare should be part of your scene. It should never be left out. A sub should always receive it to complete the circle of submission back to her Dom. If the circle is not completed, the sub can in a sense be left wandering around trying to find her way and get lost not knowing which direction to go. 

So, when you're done with your scene, you still aren't done.  Hold you sub tight and let her know how much she means to you.  She needs to know that you needed what you got from her and that you are there for her no matter what.  She needs to comfort only her Dom can provide in that very moment.  she needs to know that her Dom cares enough to see her through this and that what she gives him worthwhile. 

Aftercare...don't forget it or leave it out.  It may occur after the scene is over, but is a big part of the overall sceanrio of your time together.