Chemistry Lab

We have all been through several chemistry classes together lately.  (see posts Chemistry 101, 201, and 301)  Any of you that know anything about chemistry class in school know that there is classroom lectures and work, and then there is time spent in the lab.  The lab time is there is be able to see in person how the things you have been studying actually work in practice.  Now I would love to be able to invite you all over and give you a hands on personal demonstration.  However...that certainly is not feasible, and many of your significant others may not take too kindly to that.  And I certainly can't have any other Doms accusing me of ruining their subs.  LOL! 

All joking aside, this was the best way I know to show a side of what I have been saying.  This wouldn't work with just any picture.  It had to be the perfect picture.  I really wasn't looking for one, but I saw this and it happened to fit perfectly.  So...your Chemistry Lab Demonstration is this...

 

This picture reeks of chemistry to me.   It is overflowing with want and need.  It is being lost in a moment with that special someone, where time stands still, nothing else matters and there is no place else you'd rather be.  It's feeling so connected to each other that you want to consume every ounce of each others being.  It's needing to have them near you and this close.  It's feeding the addiction you have for that person.  It's breathing each other in and out.  It's feeling the warmth of each others body next to yours and then trying to pull yourself in even closer.  It's total pleasure with where you are, even with your clothes still on.  It's wanting so much and everything with the other person, that you stay frozen because you don't know which direction to go first.  It's hoping this moment never ends.  It's knowing how bad you want to stay when it's time to go.  It's not wanting to be apart even though you know you have no choice.  It's knowing when you are apart how bad you need to be with and see them again.  It's these moments that build the fire and feed the need, and bring you closer than you were before.  

That boys and girls is Chemistry!  That is total connection!  That is what want and need actually looks like!  As for how it actually feels...I can't help you with that one.  You need to conduct your own chemistry lab and experiment.  But I can tell you that when you do find it...you will know.  there won't be a single doubt in your mind.  You will just feel it and know.  I hope you all do feel it and know.  It's not something I want any of you to have to do without.  It is very special and something that everyone should have.

Class dismissed!  

Professor DV

Chemistry 201

In our last chemistry class (if you are new here scroll down and read Chemistry 101 first) we learned about attraction and connection between two people.  Well...let me digress...we learned about DV's view of it and what he likes, wants, and needs with a woman.  And yeah, I referred to myself in the third person.  Don't you hate that?!?!  LOL!  Anyway...now we move onto our next class.  I have talked in several prior posts about feelings and emotions.  Most of this has been angled towards women and/or a submissive.  In my "Chemistry" series, I am trying to give you some more insight into my mind, my emotions, and what I want and need.  It may be a scary view once you get a glimpse, so you have been warned ahead of time. ;)

One thing I wanted to touch on is my need for connection and being Dominant.  This was even more brought to light by an email I received in reference to my post "Chemistry 101".  In this email, my ability to Dominate was questioned based on me being too "touchy feely" with my emotions and too feminine acting.  That a Dominant is supposed to be more hardcore, strict and course in his actions and approach.  That I shouldn't be so openly expressive about my emotions to a submissive and my need for her, as it sounds submissive in itself.  It makes me sound weak.  I am paraphrasing, but that is the gist of it.  What do I have to say about that?  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!! The funniest part of the whole thing, is I never even got mad about it.  If this person was trying to get under my skin...it didn't work.  In fact, it made me laugh, as this person really has no clue or understanding of what it means to be so in tune with their partner.

Let me explain this a bit further.  For males especially, it can be very hard for us to openly express our emotions and feelings.  It is not viewed generally as characteristic of a strong man.  This is a stereotype that has been around forever.  I don't like it and think it's a bunch of crap.  I think it shows that I am strong and I am secure with who I am.  I think that if you can't talk about, realize, understand, and express your own emotions, wants, and needs openly with your partner, then you are the weak and insecure one.  It takes a strong person, male or female, to be able to open up and tell their partner all they are holding inside.  To be able to share like that takes strength.  It is making you vulnerable to your core, and most men avoid that at all cost.  I'm not suggesting this will work, or should be done by everyone.  This is just me, who I am and what works for me personally.  But I do think that being as open as possible has much more upside than downside.

So, by now you asking...how does this translate into D/s (or whatever dynamic you are in)?  I will tell you!  As a Dominant, and like many other Dominants out there, I expect my partner to be open and fully communicate with me.  Is it fair and just for me to require and ask that of her and not be willing to do that myself?  Not at all!  This isn't a one-way street.  She needs to be able to understand me, my needs, and my desires to be able to be the best for me she can be.  Just as I need to fully understand hers to be as good as I can be in her eyes.  How can I expect her to be her best if I'm not willing to share my thoughts and feelings with her?!?!  She isn't a mind reader.  She may try her best, because she doesn't want to disappoint, but running blind like that is a recipe for disaster in my book.  Be open, be on the same page, and be willing to work with your partner.  This is the only way to make it great!

Now let's take this one step further.  If we look back to my original post, I talked about chemistry, connection, attraction, and the feeling that you have met your eternal soul mate.  Isn't this what you want in a D/s relationship?  It should be! You should want that complete and total connection with someone.  Someone that makes you feel complete and whole.  Someone that makes you feel more special than you ever have before.  And this is before we even bring D/s into the equation.  D/s requires respect for each other, a lot of trust, and there are a lot of raw emotions that become involved.  So why on earth would you not want your partner to be this total connection I have spoken about.  Not just a mutual interest in D/s, but a connection on every possible level.  When you have this connection and feel as one emotionally, then everything you do can be taken to new heights.  You can experience things like never before.  It can take you higher than any drug you can think about.

Without the emotional connection, you will always be lacking.  You can never reach as high as if you did have it.  It is something extremely special.  As a Dom, you will be able to push her further and harder, based on her trust, respect and the connection the two of you have.  Without this connection, the two of you will never be able to fully reach your potential.  There will always be a roadblock.  With the connection, the sky is the limit.  Who knows how far the two of you can go and what all you will experience together.  But together, feeling as soul mates, and connected with each other like never before in your life...that is one ride that I know for sure I don't want to miss.

Chemistry 101

There is a topic that has been on my mind lately.  It goes way beyond TTWD.  Or actually, it happens outside of TTWD.  It is totally separate, yet is the most vital and basic of all necessities.  I have had multiple conversations recently in regards to this.  It has nothing to do with giving yourself to someone, or desiring to be in control of someone.  It has nothing to do with being submissive or being dominant.  It is and has everything to do with...CHEMISTRY.   

There is something very raw and basic about attraction.  Yet, initial physical attraction only goes so far.  There is so much beyond attraction.  For two people to go further and get beyond initial attraction there has to be a connection.  There has to be chemistry between them.  They have to understand each other, be able to think along the same lines, have similar wants and needs, and have similar goals.  Many times the chemistry between two people can't even be expressed and put into words.  Yet, it is an electrifying feeling that you know is there.  It can even be a gut feeling where things just seem to fit into place and just feel right.

I have met women in the past, based on our mutual desire for D/s.  We may email a bit, and then plan a meeting.  But after the meeting it just wasn't there for me.   Whether it was lack of attraction, lack of a connection and chemistry, or whatever the reason.  Sometimes I just haven't been able to put my finger on what the reason is, but it just didn't feel right.  We could both want a D/s dynamic and be on the same page with that, but if the rest isn't there, then for me it just isn't going to work.  I need more!  I need a mental and emotional connection.  I don't want just a physical relationship with someone.  I need a relationship on many levels.  I don't want just her body...I want her mind.  Once you really connect with someone, have great chemistry, and have an emotional connection, then the physical aspect of the relationship can go so much further than just a physical relationship alone.

The example I have used in the past is this...you can be a super-model, be gorgeous, and want me to do every bad thing to you in the world that sounds great to me.  But...if you are dumb as a rock, can't hold a conversation, and can't stimulate my mind to some degree on an intellectual level, then it will never work.  I'm ultimately not going to be or stay interested.  I feel the more you connect with someone on a mental and emotional level, the more attractive they become.  Physical attributes can only take you so far, at least with me.

When you find someone, that special person you totally have this chemistry with, then it is the greatest feeling in the world.  Nothing feels better.  You can enjoy talking about anything under the sun.  You feel wanted as much as you want.  You feel important and like a priority to them.  You feel giddy and like you are smiling all the time for no reason.  You get overly excited every time you see an email from them, or their name and number on your caller ID.  You get butterflies just thinking about them.  You can't wait until you get to see them again.  It's not even about the sex or potential sex (which may be absolutely fantastic in its own right).  It's more about being with that person.  It's about how you feel and they make you feel when you are with them.  It's like an electrical current flowing back and forth when you touch each other.  It's all the little things that may normally sound silly and pointless, but are important now.

Having that special chemistry is something we should all want and need.  To need to have that feeling with someone.  That person that you call your best friend, your partner in crime, your lover, your confidante, and any other term that you can describe.  When you find that with someone it is truly special and amazing.  It is something you need to hold onto tight and never let it go.  It doesn't come around everyday.  Some people look for this for what seems like a lifetime.  Give all you have to that person, and never regret being open and vulnerable to them.  Let them see every piece of you, just as you want to see that in them.  When you do find and have this, whatever dynamic plays out within the relationship will be that much deeper and more involved.  You will both give more and get more in return.  It is something to never take for granted.  Love it and nurture it every single day as though it was your last.  It's not too hard to remember what things were like before this person came along.  So...do whatever it takes to keep the fire going.  Don't let go!