August 30, 2011

An Evolving Mindset (Part 1)

It always amazes me!  People change and and situations change.  Mindsets change.  Mmmmm...yes, mindsets change.  It's amazing how mindsets change in TTWD.  It's amazing how our perception can change.  It's amazing how what once seemed kinky, now seems normal.  What once seemed to be an activity that was way out in left field is now the sandbox you constantly play in.  It amazes me how that happens. does and I like it.  No...I love it!

I never get tired of seeing the change.  For me, it is easy to see it in other people.  Whether that happens to be my Sunshine, or someone else I have talked to or dealt with in the past.  It is a beautiful thing to be able to see and be a part of the change and progression of another person within this lifestyle.  Within myself it can be a little more difficult to see.  Yet, when I stop and look back to where I once was compared to where I am now, I can definitely see how my actions, needs, and mindset have all evolved.

I look back upon my sex life and see the vanilla activities that used to be a part of it.  It contained your normal run of the mill sex and intimacy.  Nothing at all outside of the box or outside of the norm.  Being adventurous may have been sex in the shower or early in the morning...that was it.  Could I ever go back to that?  Could I ever be happy in a relationship like that?  I can answer these questions with one resounding word...NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It would never satisfy me and I would always be wanting and needing more. 

I have said before, and even written a post about it...once you get into this lifestyle you can never go back.  Or at least not completely.  This doesn't just apply to a submissive.  It applies to Dominants as well...this Dom included.  Once you realize this is part of who you are and something you need to be a part of your life, it is very difficult to settle for anything less.  Anything less just isn't enough.  Without it you will always be yearning for more.  You will be missing an important part of what you need.  Of course, your partner makes all the difference in the world, but if the two of you aren't on the same page sexually then you are heading down a bumpy road. 

Life is too short to settle for less than what you want, need, and deserve.  Yet, you can't just sit around hoping things will change, or waiting for what you want to come to you.  You have to be proactive.  You have to be willing to go after what you need.  If you sit around waiting, you may be waiting your whole life...and you have no one to blame but yourself for settling for less.


  1. here's to our constantly evolving sandbox! :)

  2. My sandcastle now has many rooms and I just called the architect again!! Lol

  3. A nice little pep talk to remind us (me) to keep plugging along.
    So many frogs to kiss, so little time.
    Thanks :)

  4. So true. It's fun to look over old posts and then you really get a flavor for how things have changed. Spankings are routine now in the bedroom. three years ago I had never spanked my lizard, only my monkey. We are still evolving, more quickly then I probably realize (though time does fly).

  5. "Life is too short to settle for less than what you want, need, and deserve."

    You betcha! And once you find it, hang on tight and enjoy the ride.....

  6. I couldn't have said it better myself! Life is too short, indeed so I'm happy I've been taking the steps I have been with Daddy to get him on the same page as me. It will be a long journey, but one I will never regret. Looking back on just a few months ago when I first handed him a paddle and asked him to please punish me--and he laughed at me and called me a freak and weirdo--we've already come a long way. Now he punishes me without judgement and pure pleasure. It makes me so happy to know it brings him pleasure in the process of satisfying my desires. Evolution is a wonderful thing.

  7. Anon...may our sandbox always evolve into bigger and better. :)

    Mindset...good for you. I hope you have a giant castle before you are done.

    SBF...definitely keep plugging along. What you seek is there. When the time is right it will all fall into place for you.

    Tom...I had to laugh at the monkey comment. LOL! But yes, things do change, and most of the time, much more than we realize. got it! Hang on tight and never let go.

    Angel...Evolution is a wonderful thing. I'm glad it all seems to be going so well for you both. I hope it continues and keeps evolving into everything you want and need. Being able to change and keep moving forward with the relationship is what it is all about.


  8. "Life is too short to settle for less than what you want, need, and deserve."

    Amen to that.
    Hugs & kisses

  9. DV as always you hit the nail on the head!!! You say it beautifully. My sandbox with Sir is growing and evolving everyday. I have found true contentment...i have found my place...Best wishes for You and Your sunshine ((((hugs)))

  10. Thank you for such a great post, DV. I have walked through the door, and I am amazed at how I am changing EVERY DAY. Parts of my submissive side intertwining with my "vanilla life." I'm amazed, HAPPY, content and want to continue to grow, learn, and thrive!

  11. So true. I couldn't imagine having it any other way!

  12. So.... my question to you is, what are YOU waiting for???

    <3 SBS

  13. original_me...thanks for the comment. That quote seems to be a popular one and ring true for many of us.

    Searching for myself...I'm glad to know all is well and you have found what you were searching for. I'm glad you were able to finally slide into a great situation.

    Sky...walking through the door is half of the initial battle. I'm happy to know it has been all you had hoped and more.

    Dean...I couldn't imagine it either.

    SBS...the cows to come home, of course. LOL!