An Evolving Mindset (Part 1)

It always amazes me!  People change and and situations change.  Mindsets change.  Mmmmm...yes, mindsets change.  It's amazing how mindsets change in TTWD.  It's amazing how our perception can change.  It's amazing how what once seemed kinky, now seems normal.  What once seemed to be an activity that was way out in left field is now the sandbox you constantly play in.  It amazes me how that happens.  But...it does and I like it.  No...I love it!

I never get tired of seeing the change.  For me, it is easy to see it in other people.  Whether that happens to be my Sunshine, or someone else I have talked to or dealt with in the past.  It is a beautiful thing to be able to see and be a part of the change and progression of another person within this lifestyle.  Within myself it can be a little more difficult to see.  Yet, when I stop and look back to where I once was compared to where I am now, I can definitely see how my actions, needs, and mindset have all evolved.

I look back upon my sex life and see the vanilla activities that used to be a part of it.  It contained your normal run of the mill sex and intimacy.  Nothing at all outside of the box or outside of the norm.  Being adventurous may have been sex in the shower or early in the morning...that was it.  Could I ever go back to that?  Could I ever be happy in a relationship like that?  I can answer these questions with one resounding word...NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It would never satisfy me and I would always be wanting and needing more. 

I have said before, and even written a post about it...once you get into this lifestyle you can never go back.  Or at least not completely.  This doesn't just apply to a submissive.  It applies to Dominants as well...this Dom included.  Once you realize this is part of who you are and something you need to be a part of your life, it is very difficult to settle for anything less.  Anything less just isn't enough.  Without it you will always be yearning for more.  You will be missing an important part of what you need.  Of course, your partner makes all the difference in the world, but if the two of you aren't on the same page sexually then you are heading down a bumpy road. 

Life is too short to settle for less than what you want, need, and deserve.  Yet, you can't just sit around hoping things will change, or waiting for what you want to come to you.  You have to be proactive.  You have to be willing to go after what you need.  If you sit around waiting, you may be waiting your whole life...and you have no one to blame but yourself for settling for less.

There's Gotta Be...

There are some of you out there who have found your perfect match.  That one person who means and is everything to you.  They are your world!  there are also some of you out there that are searching for that perfect match.  The one that you can be everything for, and they can be for you as well. 

We all want that feeling you have when you're with that special someone.  They make you feel like no one else can.  they give you butterflies in your stomach (the good kind) when you think of them.  You get excited about the simple things, like even getting a text or an email.  No one wants to be alone.  We all need someone.  So...today I'm here to offer you some hope. 

I had an email discussion with one of my readers recently.  I will respect her privacy and not name her.  The basic premise of the conversation was that she is very submissive and has needs, yet she is alone.  She is not in a relationship, she is not owned, she is not collared, she is nothing to anyone at the moment.  She truly needs a a dominant figure in her life...in her real life...to guide her and make her into all she needs to be.  I don't necessarily believe that there is one specific person, and only one, out there for us.  I do believe there are people that a a really good match for us, and will fill every void we have.  In my response to my reader, the main point I told her was to no settle for just anyone.  Don't let your need for a Dominant override your sensibility and allow you to be with someone who may not be right for you.  It is better to remain alone now, and keep searching for the right one.  Otherwise, you're apt to not make it together, and you'll be right back where tyou started down the road.  So don't settle for anyone or anything less that what you need and deserve.  It is unfair to al involved.

There is a song that I really like, and it pretty much speaks to me along these very lines.  I hope you like it as well.  One of the best lyric segments of the song is this"

"You can't give up, (when you're looking for) a diamond in the rough (cause you never know)

When it shows up, (make sure you're holding on)

Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on"

The band of which I am speaking is Nickelback.  The song is called "Gotta Be Someone" which is on the album "Dark Horse".  The video and lyrics are below.  I hope you enjoy the song, and just remember...in the words of the late Jimmy V..."Don't give up!  Don't ever give up!"

Gotta Be Somebody - Nickelback (Dark Horse)


This time, I wonder what it feels like

To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of

But dreams just aren't enough

So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling

The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene

Straight off the silver screen

So I'll be holding my breath, right up 'til the end

Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me like that

Cause nobody wants to go it on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight

And dammit this feels too right, it's just like déja vu

Me standing here with you

So I'll be holding my breath, could this be the end?

Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me like that

Cause nobody wants to go it on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, (when you're looking for) a diamond in the rough (cause you never know)

When it shows up, (make sure you're holding on)

Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

And everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to go it on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there