December 4, 2010

Formspring Question

Do you think subs and/or slaves tend to be emotionally stronger than 'regular" or vanilla girls? -On a side note, I'm posing this question to several different Doms and Masters, just to see what bounces back. THANKS!

Thank you for your question.  That is a very interesting one, and one I had to think about.  I've never really thought about it in those terms. 

I think we are all people, and we all have emotions and an emotional capacity.  Some people are more emotional than others, and some people are emotionally stronger than others.  I don't think that one particular group of people are any more strong than another, in an emotional sense.  I don't think that emotional strength necessarily belongs to one specific group, orientation or lifestyle, than another.  That would tend to make the conclusion that if you have great emotional strength, then you are ore likely to be a certain way, or in a certain lifestyle.  This is not the case. 

I do think that by the nature of TTWD, that a sub/slave is subjected to facing their emotions on a much greater level than many vanilla women.  Based on the activities we in this lifestyle engage in, the openness that is required of most subs, and the connection between a sub and her Dom, I think that emotions are much more at the forefront in many cases, more than in a vanilla relationship.  These emotions can be much more intense and have to be faced on a more regular basis, than in a vanilla situation. 

As I have written about previously, I think many subs, when just starting out, aren't aware of just how emotionally intense this can be.  They are made to face things, and they experience things, on a much different level than they ever have before.  They find that they have a much deeper connection physically and emotionally than they have before.  I believe this to be a natural occurrence based on a sub opening up and giving themself to someone like they never have before.  They are offering themself to someone, thereby being more open mentally and emotionally from the start.  Then you couple that with the trust they give their Dom, and the physical experiences the encounter, and there is no choice but for the emotions to come to the surface in a big way. 

I suppose that based on this, over time in having to deal with these emotions on a regular basis, that a sub could become stronger emotionally than a vanilla person.  This could be because they are more in tune with their emotions, and face them on a more intense level on a regular ongoing basis.  This lifestyle can be very demanding mentally and emotionally.  So, it stands to reason that over time a sub would become more emotionally strong in learning to deal with her own feelings and her submissive side.  But, I don't think that a sub is naturally any more strong in this area than anyone else.  I think it is part of human nature to gain strength as we are pushed further and further.  I do think that becoming stronger is a part of this lifestyle and it develops over time.  Yet, many vanilla people go through many trials and tribulations in their life that strengthen their emotional capacity.  In general, I will say that subs do probably become emotionally stronger over time due to the nature of TTWD and what they face in this type relationship.

That was a good question...thanks for asking!



  1. I enjoyed this post, thank you - it really hit home for me today.

  2. Once again you are right on about your observations. Love you DV