November 5, 2011

An Expanding Dynamic (Spanking)

There is an activity we all hear a lot about in this lifestyle.  Some people use it as punishment.  Some people use it as maintenance.  Some people participate in it every so often, while others participate in it regularly.  The activity I'm speaking of is...spanking.

I am going to speak about this topic from my side and experience.  I don't really know how to classify how we use it personally, but for me it really needs no label.  It doesn't matter to me what it is called, if anything.  For those of you that need a label attached to it, some sort of maintenance would probably be closest. Whatever the name or label, not everyone likes, wants, or needs to incorporate spanking into their relationship.  For some it works and fits well, and for others they want no part of it.  There is nothing wrong with either way. It's a matter of personal choice. 

I have used spanking in the past, but typically I don't push it on someone, especially in the beginning.  I think it is something that grows on you, and evolves within your relationship, at least to some degree.  The relationship I will speak about was this way.  Some sort of spanking slowly evolved through the evolution of our dynamic. Spanking had been done lightly, but nothing serious or as a primary activity.  Then there was that day...that one special day.  After some intimate time together, she laid across my lap and asked to be spanked.  This was a HUGE step for her.  A huge step for our dynamic and relationship.  Starting slow using a bare hand, and working up to harder contact.  Rubbing the point of contact in-between each stroke.  Seeing the redness.  Feeling her move underneath me.  Hearing the sounds and whimpers that uttered from within her.  It was enough to get any Dominant excited. 

The excitement came not only in the form of what I described above, or from her reaction to the spanking.  The real excitement came with the words she spoke afterwards.  Her description of how it made her feel is what solidified the entire experience.  She spoke of how she felt comfortable in that position across my lap.  From that act of being spanked, she felt a peace...a comfort.  She felt calm and at ease.  For her, it was about being in that position.  Giving me that control.  Giving me her submission.  Feeling the strength I had over her.  Feeling my Dominance resonate through her body, by being in that position and giving herself to me in such a way.

It wasn't pain.  It wasn't discomfort.  It was pleasure.  Maybe some pleasure in a physical sense.  Yet, even more so it was pleasure in a mental and emotional sense.  It was what she needed to feel.  It made her feel happy and content...balanced and she was where she needed to be and that place is "Home".  To me this was a giant step for us and our relationship, and it was for her as well.  From her previous thoughts and mindset, this is something she never imagined she would enjoy, no less feel so at peace in being spanked.  She looked inside, opened up, let go, and found a place to be happy like she never knew existed before...and in a way she never thought she would even try.

To this day, she still will ask for a spanking.  She continues to need to feel what she gets from this.  She needs to feel the power and control.  She needs to be able to offer herself in this way.  She needs to be able to let go and submit.  But, it's not just about submitting.  It's about submitting to me.  What Dominant wouldn't be happy with this?  What Dom wouldn't be proud of how far she has come?  What Dom wouldn't respect her strength to grow and seek what she needs most from him?  I know I am with everything I have.

It's this growth, change, and evolution that makes this journey with her so enjoyable.  It is situations such as this that make me proud and happy to be the Dominant I am.  It is times like this that make me proud to be able to guide and lead in the best way I know how.  It is seeing changes such as this, and enjoying it with her, that make me proud to be able to call her mine...and proud to also be hers.


  1. guess what i need?! :)

  2. long to feel my Masters hand SOON and feel the comfort and calm from His touch.

    Great post :)

    Take care. Sky

  3. Ahh, the dichotomy of pleasure and pain. Blurring the lines between the hand that causes discomfort/pain and the hand that quells and soothes the same.

    Great post!

  4. You are a sexy man aren't you :)
    This is it is for me. Belonging, home, calm, peace. It is always difficult for me to comprehend on and intellectual level that I feel loved and safe when offering my bottom for a spanking. The red glow, the sting and maybe a little mark or two on a base and primal level makes me feel loved and cared for.

    Sick puppy..or kinky bitch? (I have always been accused of thinking too much :))

  5. i love the feeling of the point of contact being rubbed gently, soothing that area between each spank. Delicious post DV

    blossom xx

  6. ah yes your description is delicious! I feel myself swooning at just the thought!
    Thanks DV~