September 27, 2011

The Geek Within - Social Science

Back when I was younger, this might have upset me.  It might have rubbed me the wrong way.  I would have fought and denied the very thought of it.  These days...not so much.  In fact, I take it as a something to be a bit proud of about myself.  What is it you ask?  My Sunshine likes to refer to me as a "geek" or a "nerd".  She does it very lovingly though.  And mostly it is in reference to this lifestyle and TTWD.  I am her "sexual geek".  Although, the more I look at it, the more it pretty much covers the way I am overall.  

So what makes me a geek?  It's the way I write.  It's the way I study and research.  Not just about this lifestyle or sex, but anything I don't know about or find interesting.  Google is one of my best friends.  LOL!  It has an answer for everything, or can at least get you started in the right direction.  I do love to discover and learn, in depth, about things I find of interest.  Obviously, D/s is one of those things.  And for me (and any of you that have followed me for a while know this), it's not just D/'s the inner workings, feelings, and mindsets associated with this lifestyle.  I would venture to say I'm a social science geek, and how it relates to and involves a D/s dynamic and relationship.  I find the mental and emotional aspects of this fascinating. 

For me (and for the purposes of this series of posts), there are two areas of social science I want to look at with all of you.  They are psychology and sociology.  Then we will also take a look at actual hands-on field practice. 

According to Wikipedia:
"Psychology is the science of behavior and mental processes.  Its immediate goal is to understand individuals and groups by both establishing general principles and researching specific cases.  For many, the ultimate goal of psychology is to benefit society."
The geek within me is intrigued about the psychology of D/s.  I have written many times about feelings and emotions involved in this.  I am indeed very interested and enjoy understanding the mindset of both a Dominant and a submissive.  I am also interested in how this mindset changes and evolves over time.  Everyone involved in TTWD is different and has differing feelings and emotions about it.  Yet, we are all surrounded by some commonalities.  This will almost always be based upon some sort of power exchange between the two people involved. 

The mind is an organ that scientists have been trying to understand for as long as humans have been alive.  It is a very deep and complex network.  Can one truly understand it?  Probably not.  Everyone is different, has their own personality, has varying likes and dislikes, etc...  Even though every single person is made up the same anatomically, it is within the brain that we all differ, are unique, and are individuals.  It is amazing how some people need and crave D/s, while others are appalled by the thought of it.  Some people have a need and desire to be spanked, while others can't even begin to fathom that desire.  Even within this lifestyle, a person can start out not wanting and being against a certain activity (let's say spanking), but then over time they change and grow to maybe not only like it, but need it as part of their relationship. 

I am a geek for liking and being interested in the psychology of TTWD?  I guess so!  I want to understand it more.  I want to learn and keep growing and progressing with my own knowledge of it.  I want to be able to understand Sunshine's mindset, feelings and emotions better.  I believe that in doing so I will be a better person and Dominant for her and us.  Google will continue to be my friend.  I will continue to read and follow blogs related to TTWD.  I will continue to source and browse pictures that involve and illustrate this.  It is through all of these avenues that I learn more and more each day. 

I will learn more about submissives, as well as Dominants.  I will learn more about myself.  For me it is one of those scenarios where the more I learn and the more answers I find, the more questions I have...the more I find I didn't know, and I can feel and see things I hadn't before.  It is as much about discovery of myself as it is about Sunshine and TTWD.  So call me a geek or a nerd...I don't mind at all.  I'm proud of the fact that I like to learn and discover.  Especially when it has direct benefits for me and my relationship. 

In the next post I will delve into sociology and how some of it relates to D/s and TTWD.


  1. DV,
    If this makes you a geek then many of us out there are as well. I recently wrote a post trying to figure out what it is that makes us tick. The comments have been interesting. I look forward to this series of posts and what you find out there.
    The concept that we are all alike and only our brains make us different was very thought provoking.
    Many may believe that letting Sunshine call you a geek doesn't fit well with the mindset of a Dom. Yet in reading this it only shows your human side and that although you are a strong dom you can also see the fun in life. Something perhaps all doms need to be able to do. Great post!

  2. Thanks for the comment Janet. Sunshine and I have a very relaxed relationship. We both love to laugh and kid each other, so her calling me that is all in us having a good time. Then again, this kind of goes back to the fact that we are all different. What may seem wrong to say to a Dom for some, may be fun and joking around to me. We each do TTWD how it fits us best. We all view things a bit different, and that is what keeps things interesting. How boring if we were all the same. :)


  3. Then I am as well, yeah geeks.

  4. Great post, DV! Much of what you wrote resonates with me in that I've always felt that my Daddy is quite the the best possible ways!

    The true Masters of D/s will always be students themselves...

    Ain't geeks grand?? ;)

  5. Sir J and Southern Sir...Welcome to the land of geekiness. I'm happy to know that you see this in yourself as well.

    Baby Girl...You make a great point. A leader and teacher should always remain a student as well. And yes...I personally think geeks are grand. :)


  6. Nothing turns me on more than a man who loves to learn.