September 29, 2011

The Geek Within - Social Science (Part 3)

By now I think it has been established that many of us (me and those that follow me) are geeks.  Stand up, hold your head high, adjust your horned rim glasses, and salute your pocket protector with all your might.  LOL!

I have taken you down the road and pointed out some important parts of TTWD.  Or maybe I have pointed out some potential obstacles within TTWD.  I have taken a look at psychology and sociology, and how they can play a role in this lifestyle.  There are the feelings, emotions and mindsets of those in this lifestyle, which may be similar or may be very different than those in the vanilla world.  I have also taken a look at some of the outside influences and societal factors that can shape the thinking process of a person.  These influences from society are a huge factor in how a person sees and participates in a power exchange relationship.

Now it is time to try to bring everything together.  I realize I am simplifying all of this and it is much more complex than I may be able to explain, but I'll do my best.  Why do we need to be concerned with psychology?  Why do we need to be concerned with sociology?  If you are strictly a researcher, then maybe you don't need to concern yourself with the whys.  Yet, most of us are more than just a geeky researcher.  We are also practitioners.  In some form or fashion we actively participate in D/s, or some type of power exchange relationship...whether it be the newly found desire, a part-time relationship, a long distance relationship, or one that is constant and 24/7.  It is within these relationships that you need to be able to understand, at least on some basic level, these aforementioned social sciences. 

As a Dominant, I feel it is my duty to not only be able to participate in physical activities with Sunshine, but to also understand what else is on her mind.  I can do an endless number of things to her physically.  In doing so, I better know how she will react to what I do to her.  I better know what she can tolerate and what she can't.  I better know when I'm pushing too far and when I'm not pushing enough.  I need to be able to have a grasp on her emotions and feelings...both about our current activities as well as her submission in general.  In other words, I need to have a grasp of her psychologically, and know how to handle what may arise.

As a Dominant, I also need to know about the social background of Sunshine.  As we move forward and progress in our relationship, I need to know what obstacles there may be.  It may involve religion, upbringing, family views, etc...  Any or all of these may have an influence or impact on her and how it affects our D/s dynamic.  I need to know where her views are based.  I need to know what factors may influence and affect her, and what may not.  I need to be prepared to deal with these things in a supportive and understanding manner. This knowledge about her is not to use against her in any way.  It is to have a better understanding myself of what her mindset may be, and how to work with that to enable her to be all she desires to be.

As you can see, there is a psychological mindset that can involve the relationship and dynamic itself.  Then there is a mindset that can be influenced by outside factors.  There is the potential stress of specific activities you may engage in, and there is also the potential stress from the outside.  All of these factors need to have attention paid to them.  They can all have a profound affect on your relationship.  As long as you are aware of the influences and mindsets, then they can be handled.

As a Dominant, I feel it is your duty to be aware of these and to research and learn your partner as much as you research specific activities.  Learn how to help each other through stress and difficult times.  Know what to look for and what may be a cause for certain concerns by your partner.  The more you know each other and are able to help each other, the better and stronger your relationship will be.  Being willing to put forth the effort to learn and understand your partner will also build trust and respect.  And what geek doesn't want trust and respect?!?! 

1 comment: