August 30, 2010
Melting of an Ice Princess
She was a very sexual person and didn't deny her sexual desires and seductiveness. She knew she could find a man to sate her sexual desires without a problem. Yet, she refused to feel. She refused to let anyone inside. All her life she had been treated as though she was an object, and this had become normal to her. If she even thought about letting someone inside, she only felt as though she would be hurt. So she wrapped herself tightly in the walls of ice she had built around her and refused to feel the warmth someone else could show her. She refused to let the ice melt and feel vulnerable to what could be.
When she stepped into my world she didn't realize she was stepping into a blazing inferno. She knew what she was looking for and what it might mean, but she didn't fully realize what she was getting herself into. It didn't take her long to figure it out, though, and as leery as she was, she began to let the ice slowly melt. She could see the possibilities. She knew this is what she wanted, and saw that I was not there to harm her. She longed for the attention and affection she had been without for so long. She longed to feel wanted and desired, yet cared for and protected. More than anything she needed to feel appreciated for who she is...all of her and not just her looks and sexuality. She needed to feel a connection and someone that was interested in all of her and everything about her. It was made clear to her from day one that she would have to open up. That she would have to share her thoughts and feelings. That she would not be allowed to hide behind her looks, her wit, and her smartass comments. She quickly figured this out about me. She couldn't get by with what she had all these years. She had never met anyone like me, and it had her off balance.
I intrigue her to the bone, and make her want to come closer. I know things about her, without her even telling me, and that scares her, yet is enjoyed. I can guide her down the road she needs, and even the ones she doesn't know she needs. She is slowly beginning to see the paths to the light she has sheltered herself from for so long. She has no choice. If she wants to be here and go down this road of guidance and self-discovery, she must open up. She must allow herself to feel. She must give in to the mental and emotional side of her existence. The more she does, the more she enjoys it. She can see that I have no intention of hurting her and using her vulnerability against her. If she will allow herself to feel and step into my fire, she can be more free and enjoy that freedom more than she ever imagined. More than she ever thought she would or could. All her experiences before were strictly of the flesh. Now she was beginning to see how wonderful she can be and feel when she allows the ice wall to melt and let her mind and emotions open to new pleasures.
She needed it..she wanted it...she wanted to be able to give herself to me completely in every facet. But could she...could she open up to someone this much? Could she give up the control she has had and hidden behind for so long? She thinks "What is he doing to me?" "Why do I feel this way?" "Why do I have to have this and let him in?" She knows all the answers to her own questions. She just has to be willing to look in the mirror and accept this. She just has to be willing to accept me.
Th Ice Princess is melting. Slowly, but she is melting. The further into my fire she walks, the more the ice goes back to it's liquid state and sheds from her. She has the fear of giving herself to someone. She has the fear of the vulnerability. She has the fear of being hurt by letting someone actually know her deeply and see inside her soul. But worse than any of those...she has the fear of not knowing what I can do for her, and how I can make her feel. She fears being trapped in the wall of ice more than exposing herself. So, she continues to walk further and further into the fire, knowing that she she is becoming more and more exposed with every step, as the heat surrounding her builds and melts that wall even more.
Bare yourself to me and keep walking. Don't look back and try to find safety behind the remaining walls. Feel the warmth you gain with every step and know that you are safe, cared for, and appreciated. Take my hand and walk into my fire. Melt away your inhibitions and let me show you what can be. I think you'll find it's everything you always needed.