May 3, 2010


Life is full of decisions.  Some decisions we make are the right ones and some are not.  Sometimes it's not quite that cut and dry.  There are times when it's not a matter of right and wrong.  It's more of a matter of which is the best direction to go.  Other times it's choosing the lesser of the evils.  Yet, all of the decisions we make alter what happens down the road and what comes next.

Lately I have been very reflective about my life and the choices I have made.  This stems from my current life and choices I now have to make or will be making on the horizon.  I was reading a post this morning on the blog Thining About It Differently in regards to love and how you know when you are in love.  When it comes to a special partner in your life, one that you love, the traditional way of going about a reltionship with them is to be exclusive and monogamous.  This has been an issue for me in the past, and I don't have a problem admitting to that.

My first marriage ended, not immediately but ultimately, due to the fact that I had an affair.  There were other issues in our marriage, which I'm sure led me to engage in such behavior.  Yet, I don't make excuses and the affair was a decision I made.  We probably would have still ended up divorced, but that sure didn't help matters any.  My second marriage, and current one, has taken quite a different road.  We are both very open minded, and over the years have just grown apart.  We both acknowledge and accept this.  We both know and have talked about our issues and how to resolve them.  We both agree that we aren't sure if they can be resolved.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  We both love each other and care for each other deeply.  It just happens to be more like a best friend situation than intimate lovers.  This is an area where we both have needs and desires that can't be tended to by the other.  We are still together now for our daughter.  We made the decision to stay together to keep our family in tact and stable for our daughter. 

We decided several years ago to try an open marriage.  Since we both have needs on a sexual level, yet don't want that with each other, and since we are staying together, we decided to give this a try.  We allow each other to see other people and still keep our home life stable.  This has allowed me the chance to explore and delve into what I have found to be so enjoyable...the D/s lifestyle.  This is something she was never interested in and wants no part of.  Actually, I never really knew I wanted it either until I had the opportunity to explore and learn more about it.  Everything just seemed to click and make sense.  I had always been fairly Dominant in bed, but now my eyes were being opened to something where I really felt a connection.  The more I read and got deeper into it, the more the pieces started to fall into place.  An understanding if you will.  Sound familiar?  Seems like a read a lot about submissives seeing the light.  Well, guess what?!?!  It happens on the other side of the fence as well. 

(As this has a few more parts to it, I will be making a multi-part series out of it.  Otherwise this will get way too long.)


  1. It sounds very familiar, I feel like I am walking directly in your footsteps--and I am on the Dom side. I have only recently begun to explore it, though, and fortunately, my wife has been a willing partner so far. It was fun reading your post!

  2. Hi Dauntless,
    Thanks for the blog mention. I want to know your answer to my question. Do you fall in love quickly, or at least know quickly if you are going to fall in love with a new person? I look forward to your future posts, as always.

  3. Tom...
    Glad I could let you see that many of us are similar. Keep on walking, because the journey ahead can be great.

    I will touch on "love" more in my upcoming posts, but will also comment on your blog. I've had to do some thinking on this one to feel I'm giving a accurate response.


  4. DV,

    I do not believe I have commented here before but I know my mouse is an avid follower of your journal.

    I believe the decisions we make define our character. Some make perfect sense only to ourselves and those within our circle. When we make those arrangements we often must pick the best at the time. This does not mean it is right or by society's standards honorable, it only means that is the path of least resistance at that moment.

    Be well,

  5. Thnk you very much for your comment Omega. I follow yours and mouses blog constantly as well. I appreciate your thoughts.

    I do agree that our decisions may not be what was right, but what had to be made at the time.