June 14, 2010

To be or ot to be...Collared?!?!

I had thoughts running through my mind about vanilla versus D/s type relationships.  In the vanilla world, you have the union of marriage.  In D/s, M/s, and any other combination you can think of, you have marriage, but you also have the act of being collared.  Maybe I think about it wrong, but to me being collared is something similar to marriage in the D/s world.  It is a union of the two souls for the purposes of this lifestyle.

For now I just want to ask about being collared.  I realize my question, which is just out of curiosity, is a bit subjective.  I also realize that a lot of couples were already married when they began delving into the D/s world.  Much my questions for my readers are these:

1. How long should you see someone before considering collaring someone or being collared.?
2. How much experience should you have?
3. Do you think it is like marriage, and you just know when it's right?
4. Do you consider it similar to marriage for a vanilla couple?
5. Waht are your thoughts on collaring?

I'm just curious about the subject and want to know what my readers think about this, the act of it, the symbolism of it, etc...


  1. Hey DV,

    First off nice to see you back writing again :)

    I know for me personally, collaring means the same thing to me as a wedding band. It's not something I take lightly and my collar is in itself a symbol of my commitment and fidelity to M. Experience wise? I don't know that I could put a cap on it, just like with a wedding ring. While I do not think it's something you should do right out the gates as a novice, I do think it is something that you have to decide for yourself...when you're ready for that level of commitment that is. Of course, this is all just in my opinion. I do understand there are different collars...such as training and such. But for me to be actually collared by someone, It has to be a relationship that has reached that level of trust and commitment.


  2. I thought I knew the answer to your question but in recent weeks I just dont know anymore. I do think being collared it a gift much like a wedding band. Meaning you are protected, cared for, loved, being one with eachother.

    Liked the post

  3. Thanks for your thoughts ladies. I always appreciate feedback and opinions!


  4. Interesting questions. From someone who never has been...but understands the concept from my own point of view & what I desire...I'll answer:

    That's like asking when is the right time to get engaged and/or married. Only the two know when it's right...I think. And yes...I think it's a bonding like marriage...but it has to be acceptable to both people. I personally would see it as an honor...like being asked for my hand in marriage.

    Even though I have not been collared ever...when I found out about this life style...and delved deeper into my own soul, I found that this would symbolically signify total acceptance of who/what I am by my Dom. So...as I said...it would be an honor and privilege.

    However, I would only accept such by a worthy man. So it is a 2-way street...as are all things in D/s, and life in general.

    Thanks, A.

  5. Hi, well be sensible, well-all described