Photography by China Hamilton
I saw this picture and it made me think of some of the conversations I have had with my pet. She has recently, within the past few months, faced the fact of who and what she is...a submissive that needs and craves to be controlled. She has felt these feelings for years, yet she didn't really understand them. Over her life, she always loved being a pleaser in the bedroom, being controlled, and wanting to be able to totally let go all her inhibitions and be the slut she needs to be. Yet, she did not understand these feelings until very recently, and totally understand what these desires she had really meant. She has stated that she has felt this way her whole life, but didn't really know what to do with it. No sexual relationship, of the vanilla sort, has ever been very satisfying, but she did not know why and couldn't figure out exactly what she wanted on a sexual level. Her daily family life and career also require her to be anything but submissive. She must be strong and in charge.
Alas... along comes Sir Dauntless! LOL! Seriously though, I have been able to help and enable to her to see and much more clearly understand her underlying feelings and desires. She has voiced her thoughts on how much better she feels and how free she now feels after being able to see the light and better understand herself. She refers to this as "total irony". That fact that she has openly accepted who she feels she truly is and that she is submissive and now owned, yet she has never felt more free and better about herself. With me, she has dropped the mask that everyone sees in her daily life, and let me see and lead the real "her" down this path. She also realizes that how she was raised to be and act and the false front of what a good girl does and doesn't do has no bearing on this. I not only expect but require that she be open, kinky, and the slut and whore you truly is and needs to be.
I think there are a lot of people who deny the existence of who they truly want to be, based on what they feel society expects of them. People are conditioned to conform to what society expects, and so here comes the mask. The mask that we use to show the world what we think they want to see. I understand that in some cases, my own included, based on family and work, that the mask can be a must. Yet...you also need to be able to take it off and be who you really are without holding yourself back and denying even to yourself who you are at your core. For a lot of people, this can be an internal struggle that is difficult to get beyond, but once you face it and accept it, then it will enable you to be much more free and relaxed than you have ever been before. This doesn't just apply to BDSM or D/s. It can be in regards anything in your life.
So...I challenge you to take a good look in the mirror and see who is looking back at you. Is it the real you, or the one that is expected of you? Are you denying your core existence and who you truly are? If so, maybe it's time to take off the mask and feed the monster just enough to at least see what it is like. You might just like what you find and how it feels!
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