February 23, 2010

The Realization Of A sub

I met my pet a couple of months ago.  We met under the intention of a vanilla relationship, but it didn't take long for us to begin having deep discussions. Through these discussions she revealed to me about her submissive tendencies, and came to the realization that she is indeed a submissive and is in great need of a Dominant male to lead her down this path. The realization has been more of a revelation internally for her, as she now feels she better knows who she is, who she needs to be, and who she wants to be.  She discovered in me as well that I am Dominant and have had a D/s relationship and experience in the past. 

This may all seem a bit odd, or even confusing, for someone not very familiar with a D/s (Dominant/submissive) situation or lifestyle. Yet, it can be very empowering for a sub, as odd as that sounds, to be able to give them-self up to another person. To feel controlled...to feel used...to feel at the direction of another person completely. They have the need to be Dominated. This doesn't mean she doesn't need passion, care, love, support, and kind guidance. In my subs case, it makes her feel free like never before. Like the weight and outer shell has been lifted, to be able to better see and understand the feelings she has had for years, but not understood. And...to now be able to look at the possibilities of being with someone that can give her all she has discovered she needs.

The most interesting part is the mental mindset of someone like this. The thoughts that run through her head. What she thinks about constantly. It has been very enlightening for me to see inside the head of someone like this, as they come to the realization of who they are and feel they need to be.

To better see this I have listed the body of an email she sent to me.  It shows the depth and detail that she thinks about as she was approaching our first meet with a prospective situation and relationship that is new, yet very exciting and enticing.  The mail reads as follows:

As time moves closer, my mind begins to wander.

What will it feel like when we see each other?
How will it feel when we touch?
Will he know at that moment that I am his?
How will it feel to stand before my Dom, my owner, the one I trust with my body, mind, heart and soul?

Will he be dominate from the moment we meet or will that come later?
Will he be pleased with me when he sees me?
Will he kiss me then or will he make me wait, building upon the night.....
Does he know how much I need him?
Does he know how I feel I can't breathe without him?
Does he know that when I think of him, I tremble, not out of fear, but out of excitement, passion, lust, need, devotion....
When he takes me and makes my body officially his, how will I feel, emotionally, mentally?
Does he know my body is his to use how ever he wishes?
Does he know I want nothing but his happiness, for when he's happy, it pours down upon me?
Does he know that I am really his, my submission is real?
Will I feel his approval of my submission by the way he looks at me, touches me, holds me?
How will it feel to be before him, completely bare of anything? Will he be pleased?
How will it feel when our bodies become one?
How will it feel, walking on this path with him, Dom and pet?

How did I ever live without this in my life...............

I personally was astounded and amazed by the thought process and level of thought that went into this for her. Most especially, that she was able to verbalize all she was feeling and thinking.  For me, I sometimes have so many things running through my head that by the time I can get one or two down on paper (so to speak) that six other thoughts have already come and gone.  LOL!

This type situation and lifestyle is not for everyone by any means. A lot of people may even wonder how someone could think or be this way. Some other people may be able to totally relate to it and understand where she is coming from. I just thought it was very interesting and and intriguing, and that I would share it as a differing point of view than many people have or are even aware of in this world.

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