To The Edge...

(An excerpt from inside the head of DV...)

There you are, laying there bent across the kitchen table in your orgasmic bliss.  Chest and face on the table with your arms up next to your head.  Your legs are shaking slightly...breathing heavily...your legs barely able to hold yourself up.  You have been taunted and teased and you finally got the release that had built up so strongly inside.  You were finally shown and better understand that you get to cum when, and only when, I allow it.  That I can take you to the edge over and over without letting you cum for me.  

I can inflict pain as well as give you pleasure, and it all turns you on as it comes from my hands.  It all can take you to the edge, and only I decide if you are allowed to fall off the edge to satisfaction.  You never imagined that you could possibly enjoy pain, no less have an orgasm because of it.  But, now you are seeing just how much you need to be controlled by me, how much it turns you on to let go and be at my mercy, and how letting those feelings and sensations flow freely will allow you to feel things like you never have before.  

And here you are...used and dripping and laying across the kitchen table completely bare and naked.  Trying to catch your breath, and not really able muster the strength to rise up.  To some this would be a horrible and embarrassing position to be in.  Maybe even for you once upon a time.  But now, no shame has even crossed your mind.  You feel comfort and peace in being in this position and belonging to me.  Baring yourself to me.  

Just when you think you are about to regain your senses, you feel it.  I am now standing behind you, and you didn't even notice how I got there.  You try to rise up a bit and put my hand between your shoulder blades and shove you forcefully back down against the table.  As my hand applies pressure to your back holding you down, sensing me directly behind you, you feel my hardness against your exposed assets. You are a sloppy mess, but have come to expect this reaction from your body.  It pours uncontrollably for me, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.  

Still feeling me right behind you, rubbing myself in the mess your body has created for me, the tension building, and then all of a sudden you are filled with what you have needed more than anything else...


~DV~

Suffering For Greater Good

The definition of suffering is... an experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm in an individual, and may be qualified either physically or mentally.  Suffering can be seen in many ways as pain.  In TTWD, there is a lot of what we do that revolves around pain and suffering.  This can be anywhere from very mild to very severe, depending on the type and way it is inflicted. It can be anything from orgasm withdrawal and mind games, to spanking, caning, flogging, and whatever else that may fall into the realm of physically inflicted pain. 

Discerning Dom wrote a post recently where he looked at whether all Dominants are Sadists.  A sadist being someone who derives pleasure from the infliction of pain.  Conversely, a masochist is someone who derives pleasure from receiving pain.  I don't by any means think that all Doms are sadists, and don't believe that all subs are masochists.  Yet, I do think that some sort of suffering is inherent in any and all D/s or power exchange relationships.  

Due to the nature of these type relationships, I think that suffering on some level is crucial to the relationship.  It tests the resolve and commitment of the relationship.  It can test a submissives desire and need to submit to her Dominant.  It can test her willingness to submit to her Doms desires and wishes.  From the Dominant side, it can test his willingness to push his submissive further.   It can test his desire to show his strength, power and control.  

Does this mean that either person is either a sadist or a masochist?  No, not at all.  Neither of them my receive direct pleasure from whatever activity is instituted.  Yet, they may both receive pleasure from the outcome of what the activity accomplished.  There may be quite a bit of pleasure, for one or both, by seeing the results of what they have done together.  As a Dominant, I may not get pleasure from making or seeing my submissive suffer, but I will get pleasure from know she laid herself out there for me, and suffered for me, to become a better person for it.  It can bring the two of you closer and strengthen the bond the two of you have.  The suffering, however mild or severe, can lead to a greater good.  

I think that suffering for the greater good can be a wonderful thing.  A person can learn and grow from positive reinforcement and behavior, but can also learn from negative behavior, suffering, and pain.  The key is knowing what type of suffering to inflict, doing it with a specific purpose, and doing it with love and intention, as well as a goal.  For me personally, I don't get pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering just for the sake of doing it.  There needs to be a purpose and a goal behind it.  I don't want to make and see her suffer for no reason.  I want to see the growth and benefits that come from having inflicted whatever I have done.  

I will leave you with this quote that I think describes very well exactly what I am trying to say...that there is a goal behind the infliction of the chosen suffering, and that hopefully it leads to the betterment of you both and to a greater good.  

Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape. --Charles Dickens

Who Knew It Had A Name...

In almost every dynamic that involves D/s, M/s, BDSM, TTWD, or whatever you want to call it, there seems to be some control concept that involves some level of pain.  Most of us, but not all, seem to use pain in one form or another to derive pleasure and/or instill submission. 

What I didn't know is that there is an actual name for enjoying pain.  It's called Algolagnia.  The definition of this is deriving sexual pleasure and stimulation from physical pain, often involving an erogenous zone.  This applies to both sides of the equation as well...those that receive the pain and those that deliver the pain.  Who knew we are all really Algolagniacs?!?!

A spanking or flogging for many may be what they enjoy.  This is the type pain they have come to love, and find themselves getting sexual aroused from that.  Maybe it's rough sex that you enjoy and the potential pain mixed with pleasure that really gets you going.  Conversely, a Dominant can get sexually excited from giving a spanking or flogging.  Being able to exert his power and Dominance can be very sexually arousing.  From some of my research, I also found that pain, and we will use that term loosely, doesn't have to be physical in nature.  It can be mental as well.  A couple of examples of this would be forms of humiliation and exhibitionism.  More commonly it would be referred to as a mindfuck. 

There are some in the medical community, psychologists and psychiatrists, that have tried to determine the causes and reasons behind the pleasure.pain connection.  Really though, there have not been many thorough studies to understand this.  Although, many see it as some type of psychosis.  Some say it's beahavioral, some say it is psychologically related, some say brain abnormalities, and some say it's genetic.  The real answer is that no one knows for sure.  There is a definite correlation, though, in that it is always related to sexual sadism and/or sexual masochism. 

And here I thought we were all just a bit kinky.  Turns out there is an actual term for our dark desires.  I'm not saying that any of us are sick, demented, or off our rocker.  We all enjoy what we do and need it as part of our lives.  And by all means, this part of us is done with a partner that is fully consensual to the acts being performed.  I'm sure there is a point where it may cross over into total psychosis, but that is on a completely different level than what I am discussing here.  I just thought it would be fun to show and explain that there is a name for the enjoyment of pain that is found to be sexually arousing.  Especially since this is what so many of us use in our play time. 

So keep marching on my fellow Algolagniacs! 

It's Time For A Spanking

I have read a lot of posts lately, and even not so lately, about spanking, both from a Dominant's side and a submissive's side.  I got to thinkng about how much a part of this lifestyle spanking seems to be, either for pleasure or punishment.  Spanking also really seems to diffrentiate those in this lifestyle from those in the vanilla world.  For the purposes of this post, I am lumping all ass attention into one category of spanking (actual spanking, either by hand or implement, whipping, caning, belting, etc...)

From a Dominant's perspective, I think he feels he needs to exert his power and control.  Sometimes this is done through punishment, and sometimes because he can.  A Dom needs to be able to push the limits of his sub, while allowing her to feel the control he has over her.  A Dom needs to be able to exert his prowess and keep his sub in line.  Spanking is a physical activity in which he can inflict controlled pain, to an area that will not cause great bodily injury or long lasting wounds.  Yet, most of the time he doesn't do it strictly for the aspect of pain itself, although he does at times.  It's more of the mental aspect and ensuring his sub feels his control and knows her place.  He does it for her!  He does it because he needs to do it for her, and she needs it.  He needs to feel her submission and that she is completely his.

(I love the goosebumps all over her.)

From another perspective, I have read so many times lately in posts by submissives, how they NEED spankings.  When a sub gets out of line, she feels she needs to feel her Dom's power and control in punishment.  Sometimes she will purposely push his limits just to test where the line in the sand is, and to make sure he is in control and will stand behind what he says.  I have read several different posts lately about subs saying how much they really need a spanking NOW.  They feel out of kilter, and need to feel the cpower and control, by physical manifestation of their Dom, to feel balanced and in place...to feel get back to feeling like the sub that she is and needs to be.

Spanking is something that the vanilla world does not understand.  To them it is something fun to do every so often, if ever, just in fun or in the moment.  They do not understand the control, submissiveness, and the pain apects that are needed in this lifetsyle.  To a lot of the vanilla world it is abuse.  They do not like it, agree with it, or want any part of it.  For them...that is perfectly fine.  They are welcome to conduct their lives the way they see fit.  But...do not judge those of us in this lifestyle and the way we conduct ourselves and our activities.  We have needs and reasons for doing what we do.  One should not mock or put down what he does not understand. 

Spanking is an essential part of this lifestyle.  It is needed by both Doms and subs.  It is deeply engrained in our lifestyle and an integral part of the dynamic of a D/s relationship. 

Happy Spanking!!!

You Want To Spank Me Where?

Photography by China Hamilton

As I was browsing through some more pictures taken by China Hamilton, I came across this one.  This picture brings something to mind in dealing with sub L.  In her discovery of who and what she really is, she has changed her opinion almost 180 degrees on so many things from when we first started.  The most notable change would be her position on pain.

When we first met, L said she didn't like pain and wasn't into anything involving pain.  My how times have changed.  She has not only found that she finds an erotic enjoyment in receiving pain, but practuically begs for it these days.  Let me clarify to a dregree about pain.  the pain inflicted upon her is in the way of spanking, nipple clamps and nipple twisting, hair pulling, and ther like.  Nothing too over the top.  Yet, every time we are together she wants it more and more, and needs it harder and deeper.  I have told her she is becoming quite a little pain slut.  The pain is so arousing to her that she feels lost without it.  She has a deep seeded need to be controlled and dominated, and to recieve the pain, which she feels as pleasure, or she doesn't feel free and coplete.  she feels she is lacking something without it. 

Back to the picture, and in connection with sub L and her need for painful stimulation, she has discovered how much she enjoys having her pussy slapped.  Slapped, spanked, smacked...however you want to look at it, she loves it.  Sometimes it's a single hard and loud smack.  Sometimes it's a series of fast and lighter smacks.  However her pussy is struck she loves it and only wants more.  She has even been able to cum and orgasm just from having her pussy slapped.  I have made her spread her legs similar to the picture, and I get onto her if she jumps too much, or tries to close her legs any at all.  It's all about me controlling her pussy and giving her the sting and heat in her pussy that she loves from the slaps.  I will admit that I do rather enjoy it as well.  It's just one of the ways I can use her to my liking, and she feels used in a way that she loves.

So...ladies/subs/slaves..what is your opinion on pussy slapping?  Have you ever had it done to you?   If so, do you like it?  If not, do you have a desire to have it done?  Just curious if this is a standard practice for a lot of you, or jsut an individual preference.