February 18, 2012

Finding More Balance

The first post in the series was titled Finding Our Balance.  In that post we took a look at how a power exchange relationship can affect your outlook and your overall view of life.  That having this type relationship in your life can help keep you balanced, centered, and an overall happier person in general.  The comments received seemed to back up this position, as they were all positive and exhibited how TTWD has had a positive affect on people's lives. 

To those that aren't too familiar with this lifestyle, it may seem that this would lead me, or anyone else for that matter, to say that everyone needs a D/s relationship because it makes you more balanced.  My answer...Not even close!  For some, this just isn't for them.  It doesn't fit or meet their needs.  They could care less or think this is wrong, and that is their right to believe and feel that way.  This post is for those that are in the lifestyle, learning it, teetering on the fence,  or those still trying to find themselves. 

After reading the comments of the last post, one theme stood out to me to be at the forefront of the whole dynamic for everyone that commented...Acceptance!  there is a very common theme about being involved in this and finally feeling accepted and able to completely be yourself.  The word "liberating" was even mentioned a few times.  It has been discovered by people that there is nothing wrong with you.  It is alright to want the things you do, and even more so that those things can be expected of you.  It can be very relaxing and freeing to find that you can embrace all that you are and need to be, and without the worry of what is thought of you or that you are doing something that is looked down upon. 

This leads me to my next question.  Is it really TTWD that enables us to feel balanced and centered, or is it the acceptance by our partner of who we are and all we want and need?  Does this lifestyle bring about calm and stability within our lives, or is it finding a partner that embraces this side of us and what we feel we really need as a part of our lives?  I personally think it is both.  I think we all want and need this lifestyle or we wouldn't be here.  It is a part of us and who we need to be.  Yet, the connection you have with your partner, and their acceptance of who you are and what you need, or even their expectation of who they want you to be, can be very liberating.  You no longer have to hide this side of yourself and deny your needs and desires.  Having a partner that needs this as well can open up a whole new side of you, once you finally feel free to let go and be who you naturally are. 

What do you think?


  1. DV,

    This is a great question.

    I think for me it is both since they are one and the same.

    Finding someone that who accept this part of you means you don't have to hide all the time. It takes a great deal of energy to push down and hide and essential part of yourself. You can be your authentic self. We all see ourselves through the eyes of our loved ones to some degree. If they see something beautiful, we are happy and will allow that part to grow and flourish.

  2. DV,

    I totally agree with you on both counts. For me, what came first was a personal acceptance and understanding that this was something I needed. When presented to my Husband, it was elation when He seamlessly stepped into His role. And to be fair, it was a role He always had, but was resisted by me for a good time.

  3. DV,

    For myself, I relish Daddy's control over me and although we've always been close, I find that I respond positively the more control he exerts over me. I trust him so much I'm not afraid of whatever he would choose to do or want for us.


  4. DV - a great question and very pertinent for me right now.

    For me to feel balanced, I need both.

    Someone who accepts me as submissive AND someone who cares about my needs and wants not only within a d/s dynamic but outside of it as well.

    Thank you for making me think!

    Fondly. Sky

  5. I would say its a combination of all you mentioned, knowing that im with someone who understands me and my needs and wants to fulfill them as much i want to fulfill his.

    Is it ttwd (not keen on this term btw) or the partner specifically? hmm well its all about compatibility with the right partner i would think. You both have to have the same ideas of where you want the relationship to go and what you both want from it.

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