March 29, 2013

"50 Shades" Question (Blog Takeover)

As part of the Dauntless Journey Bog Takeover, I received the following question from G.B. Miller:

Hmmm...I am curious, being a lurker a few blogs (including yours) of the BDSM lifestyle, what your opinion is/was of the "50 Shades of Gray" trilogy?

I guess we all have our own personal views of how we feel about the "50 Shades" books.  I think there is both god and bad in the books popularity.  Firs let me start with the bad, at least as I see it.  Since the book went mainstream, and most of the people reading it have no clue about bdsm, I think they tend to see the dynamic in the book and think that's how this is.  Granted for some people it is like the book.  Yet, there are so many variations on TTWD, none of them right or wrong, that the mainstream public is only seeing a very small sampling of this lifestyle.  I think their view is a bit twisted and lop-sided, and the books didn't paint the beauty this can be in a very good light.

Having said that, I think there is some upside to the books as well.  The books getting so much attention and going mainstream, got bdsm into more of the mainstream society.  The books brought what was once seen as an underground lifestyle and something somewhat taboo out more into the public eye.  It gave our little niche of relationship dynamics and needs some exposure.  Exposure to a lot of people that wouldn't have been exposed otherwise.  I think it opened the eyes of a lot of people and made bdsm seem not quite so bad, thereby encouraging them to look into this more and not feel as though they have to hide from their desires for this.  That certainly is not a bad thing, and those that are truly interested will delve deeper into this, research, maybe even read some of our blogs, and learn more about what all this does or can entail.

I know that most people in the bdsm lifestyle hated the books and how it represented us.  That part has some truth.  Yet, there was also some good that came out of it.  Not specifically from the books themselves, but as a side benefit of the exposure this brought about.  So for me, the books are a love hate relationship.  I can't say tat I lean more to one side or the other, but at least I can e open minded enough to see both sides.



  1. Unfortunately the book was also terribly written, with a plot so ridiculous it made almost difficult to finish. It is, however, an excellent example of how marketing, hype and an amazing publicist can earn an author an equally ridiculous amount of money.

  2. Thanks for answering my question. I was always curious about the lifestyle, having only really seen the skewered version of what Hollywood has chosen to show.

    I suppose that all books that touch on "taboo" topics/lifestyles would cause people who actively participate to have a love/hate relationship with those.

  3. I have not read the book. Mostly because I was not sure if she was writing from fantasy or expirence. That would make a huge difference in how I view the book. Have you read it DV?

  4. i really agree with you on the pros and cons of the book. i didn't think it was any worse than any Harlequin romance novel, which is what is really was, imo, with some kink thrown in. Certainly it's brought a lot of curious folks into the community to learn more.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.


  5. I agree with you, there were good things and bad things about the book. I liked that it brought this lifestyle out of the dark for sure, but I dislike how cruel they made it seem at times and how disconnected they made the main character seem from the emotional importance of it for both Dom and Sub. Loved the books, but people still need to read blogs like this for the truer side of things :)

  6. I've read a lot of BDSM fiction books. FSoG was all about publicity. I've definitely read better. Cherise Sinclair is really really good. You should read her books sometime. I think she's portrayed the D/s scene pretty well.