July 19, 2010

A Fine Line

I am one of those guys that loves having a good time, no matter what I'm doing.  I like cutting up and joking around.  I can be a smartass and sarcastic, yet it is always in fun.  I tend to say that if I'm not picking at you, then that's when you need to worry.  That's just the way I am and my personality.  You better be able to take it and enjoy the joke.  It's even better if you can and know how to fire right back at me.

When it comes to a woman, I like one that can be sassy and feisty.  I like one that can take me picking at her, and fire right back with something herself.  A sassy and fun attitude is a great thing, at least to me.  I like being able to have fun and joke around and being with someone that can do the same.  If you can't or don't have the personality type for that, then we are going to clash. 

This can be a double edged sword when it comes to a D/s relationship.  There is a fine line sometimes for a sub between being feisty and sassy and crossing the line to disrespecting your Dom.  Where is this line, you ask?  Well...that all depends on the Dom.  A Dom and his sub have to get to know each other very well to know where the line in the sand really is.  It can be different for everyone.  Some Doms may put up with a lot more than others.  Some subs may try to push to see just how far they can go.  But then again, that goes for any D/s relationship, and on a multitude of topics and levels. 

I would much rather have a fun and sassy sub, and take the chances on her pushing the limits too far, than having one that doesn't fit my personality style.  It is my job to train her just how far she can go before she crosses the line.  Eventually there could be punishment involved for crossing the line, but until I am sure she has been educated in where that line is, I can't even begin to do such.  That would begin crossing over into abuse...but that's a total other topic.  Yet, once that line is clearly marked and known by both Dom and sub, then that's another matter.  She will know the consequences for crossing over.  Especially if she jumps over the line, as opposed to just sticking a toe over. 

There is a fine line between being fun and having a good time jawing back and forth and being disrespectful.  I for one am more than willing to deal with that.  I'm willing to be forgiving on that side of things, and maybe more so than other instances.  This part of a relationship, any relationship, is important to me.  Sass away baby!  I'll let you know when you have gone too far!  :)


  1. Well said! Playing - verbal bantering is so important. (well, at least to some of us ; )


  2. DV Sir,

    I love to verbally banter with O. I can't imagine being in a relationship where that wasn't allowed.


  3. I have had issues with my last Dom about this. I like to play around and to tease but he wasnt as into as I... Oh well.

    Glad to see you posting. I have missed you


  4. Dauntless--information is valuable. I would never have realized without your post that this is a common issue, even though after reading your post I immediately realized how common it must be.

    For me, I have struggled with lizard calling me names in private in fun, like "Mister Magoo." She doesn't mean any disrespect, I don't think, but I still feel a prickle in the back of my neck when she says things like that, even in jest. Believe me, we do laugh a lot together about a lot of things, but that's one that gets me riled up. I need to lighten up on that front (we don't have a formal rule about name calling).

    It's hard for me to wrap my head around this whole idea of Domination, and I need to be careful not to turn Domination (which I think I have achieved to a fairly large degree) into being Domineering.

  5. By the way, I forgot to add, it's great to see you are posting again!

  6. S...thanks for your comment and stopping by. Feel free any time.

    Mouse...It's good that you two can carry on like that. I couldn't do without it. I'd do without the relationship before I'd do without the fun and being able to be me.

    Carrie...So you know all about exactly what I wrote. That can sure be an issue. That is one of the overlooked parts of a D/s relationship. Personalities definitely have to match. Thanks for the "missed you". Hopefully I'll be around a while now. :)

    Tom...I think this is an issue for a lot of people, not matter the relationship. As I said, there is a fine line between fun and disrespect. This is just something you and lizard have to discuss and work through, assuming it bothers you enough to need to mention it. there is also a fine line between being Dominant and Domineering. that is one you have to work on yourself and find the balance. Thanks for the the well wishes for returning. Glad to be back.


  7. I would not be able to exist in a relationship where my sparkling personality was suppressed :), ofcourse I depend on the dominant being honest and showing me the line so I can avoid causing a problem.