July 26, 2010

Changing Like The Tides

To be or not to be...   No that's not it.  What to be or not to be....   No that's not it either.  Ah I have it!  What to be today, and maybe be different tomorrow...  Yep that's it!

I was recently asked how I do things when I set up a meeting.  Do I have set scenes or activities I like to do?  Do I expect certain things from a sub every time we meet?  Will the scenes be different but certain activities will always be incorporated?  These questions are understandable and worth asking.  After all...a sub needs to be somewhat familiar with routine and what is expected of her. 

I agree with expectations and a sub knowing her place and what is expected of her.  Yet, I have found that I find my moods change daily, and so does my approach and what I want or need for that particular day.  Sometimes I may have a scene set out in my mind as to what I am going to do and feel my sub needs to do.  But then when it comes down to it, the mood and where things just happen to lead may be totally different.  I can be a bit anal when it comes to a schedule and staying on it.  But when it comes to my play time with my partner, the mood always seems to dictate better than I can what happens and where things go. 

If you are like me, (and no one may be like me - lol) you like a book with pictures.  I am a visual and a hands on learner.  I was even this way all through school.  I could go to class and listen to lectures all day and it not sink in.  I need to be able to see what you are talking about.  I need to be able to get my hands on it.  So, for my benefit, and the rest of you like me, I'll give you a little bit of a picture story to illustrate my changes in mood and what I want and need.

Some days I may be feeling I need this: 

 Tomorrow I may be needing this:

Another day it may be this: 

Then later that day I need something like this:

Next week I may be feeling this: 


Then finally, I may feel my sub needs this:

I varies from moment to moment sometimes.  I think we are all that way to a degree.  sometimes you have to deal with it and stick to your plan.  You have to do a particular scene because you know that's what your sub needs.  As a Dom, it isn't always about you.  More times than not it is all about your sub and what she needs to be to be the best sub she can be for you.  Sometimes she needs caring and loving attention.  Other times she may need to feel your power and Dominance.  Today she may need to be made to feel her full submission.  Tomorrow she may need to feel how much you care, and your protection of her.  Today, sweet and gentle loving.  Tomorrow, pushed and spanked like never before.

There are so many variables that can come into play.  Your needs, her needs, the  mood, the situation.  As long as you are both on the same page and good with how the two of you operate, then that is what is most important and what matters.


  1. I love this post and love the pictures.

    You are right, we all need things at different times. Knowing your partner is so very important but learning about eachother is key.

  2. "Today she may need to me made to feel her full submission. Tomorrow she may need to feel how much you care, and your protection of her. Today, sweet and gentle loving. Tomorrow, pushed and spanked like never before."

    You said it so well... and you're so right...

  3. Like a beautiful tango, where the two dancers must know every inch of skin on their partner, and must move fluidly and flawlessly, growing into each other more and more as the song progresses.

  4. Carrie...Thanks and you are so right...learning each other is most important.

    RR...Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad you agree.

    Tom...Are you getting all poetic on me?!?! LOL! But yes you are correct and described it well.


  5. Dude, I have to admit:

    Your thoughts mirror my own so exactly it seems this post was self-written. At times I have a vision I wish to see, and so I make it happen. At times the set up is but momentary whim. At times I’ll have a plan yet seconds after beginning I alter it dramatically. And sometimes I am completely not in the mood but do so anyway because I know she longs for it, and needs it; but usually I am in the mood to fill her needs.

    If asked the question, “So what do you do during ‘a scene?’” (I don’t really call them ‘scenes’), my answer would be this: "Whatever I dream or whatever she needs me to do."

    I think it, it happens.

    That’s the answer, isn’t it?

    Making dreams happen, living in the now, saying and doing what you both wish, want, adore, desire, lust for and obsess about.

    Well put, mon ami…


  6. I’ve been here often and have no clue why we have not been followers. We are now and will list you on our page.



  7. B...Thanks for your comments. First I don't really call them scenes either in my life or play. It just seems easier, for lack of something else, to use that term so everyone understands.

    We do do seem to be on the same page. Sometimes you do what you plan to do. Sometimes you do what she needs you to do. Sometimes it changes 5 or 6 times during your play. LOL! So much of it depends on the mood and what comes to mind at the time.

    Whatever I dream up! That's the best answer for sure (for me anyway).