January 3, 2013

Pride and Ownership...

There is a part of every Dominant that is very difficult to see.  Within each Dominant is a part of him (substitute "her" if it makes you feel better or suits your situation) that very few will ever see.  Only those with which he is directly involved, such as his submissive, will likely see this side of him. This mysterious and hidden part is his sense of pride.

I have talked before about many of the new things and feelings that a submissive will experience and find about herself.  Not just anyone can pull this out of her.  It takes a special man..the right man...to be able to maneuver inside of her and find these special feelings.  She may be submissive, but she does not and will not submit to just anyone.  Only for him.  Only for the one that she feels has earned and deserves her submission.    Only for the one man that she feels comfortable opening up to and making herself vulnerable.  Only he is allowed to see this side of her.

The same goes for the Dominant.  There are parts of him that only his submissive will be allowed and privileged to see.  It's not because he is holding it back from everyone else.  It's not because he refuses to show and express his feelings.  It's because it takes that special woman, that special submissive, that can maneuver inside of him and allow him to feel things no one else can.

With the right submissive and partner, the Dominant will feel a sense of pride like at no other time.  It's a sense of pride in what he has been able to accomplish and in his submissive.  When his guidance and leadership has been able to help her see things like never before, and she feels sensations deep within her soul that she didn't know were even possible, his sense of pride begins to shine.  It's seeing his handy work come to fruition.  He has led and guided her down a path of discovery, and now she has discovered what he has been leading her to find.

He sees this within her.  He can sense the growth and progress she has made.  Based on the new discoveries and feelings, she presents herself and acts differently.  She has blossomed into someone much more beautiful in his eyes.  Knowing he has been able to hep her do this brings about his sense of pride.  It's like a teacher happy with his students.  It's like a parent happy with the decisions and choices of his children.  Yet, it's deeper and more emotional.  There is care and love.  There is appreciation.  There is a true sense of value.  There is affirmation of all you have been doing.  This is a pride like no other.

In this lifestyle we talk about ownership.  There is the physical ownership of a Dominant taking on a submissive.  She is his and belongs to him.  Yet, there is also the mental and emotional ownership that develops over time.  It's when she truly feels this within herself that she is truly owned.  When she feels it inside...when she feels like she belongs...when she feels like there is no other.  There really are no words to describe how this feels, but it is there and is a feeling only those that have been there understand.  Being able to get a submissive to this place and feeling owned...there is no feeling like that for a Dominant either.  That instills and brings forth a sense of pride in leadership that nothing else can do.

When she truly feels owned, not in the physical sense, but mentally and emotionally, and there is no greater feeling or place she would rather be, the pride a dominant feels is equal to the feelings she has in her ownership.  She has never been happier than being in this place, and he has never been more proud of her and all she has accomplished to get there.  In a way, she owns him as well.  This is what we all strive for...for two separate people to grow into one phenomenon that is greater than the both of them singly.  For both of them it brings about feelings of pride and of ownership.  And it's feelings that only that special person could have brought out of them...and that few other people will ever see.


  1. Thank you as well...and you're welcome! :)

  2. you have a great way of saying things DV
    Thank you

  3. Another amazing post by DV! You never disappoint. Thank you for this one.

  4. As always, very wise and wonderful insight.


  5. I think this is not only beautifully written but also wise.
    I needed to read that- it helped.
    Thank you.

  6. As always, I am astounded by the things you write. My BD and I were just talking about this very thing, and seeing the way you put it helps me to understand even more what he was trying to say. I love your posts regarding submissives, but think this may very well be one of my favorite posts of yours.

    I sure hope that this post means you are feeling better after being so ill during Christmas!

  7. Two days ago, I figured out that my 20+ year relationship (married 16) is D/s. My husband is the only one who "knows what to do with me". We are not D/s in the bedroom, though I would like to move things that way. Your post captures the synergistic beauty of our relationship that I'm not sure many would understand. Your blog is helping me understand more about myself as a sub, my "uber-alpha" husband as a Dom, and the nature of our interactions together. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad I found your blog.

  8. Well thought, and well wrought. Thank you.


  9. What a beautiful, moving and inspiring piece of writing! It captures so much of what I feel and of what my Dom and I are becoming. Thank you for posting this!