An Open Letter Of Apology

To My Loved Ones:

Least to say, the past week or two have been killing me.  There has been so much going on, and it has me overly stressed.  I typically handle stress well, but this go around...not so much. 

There was the the whole computer crash, which has been a nightmare.  I've built my own computers before, and this time is no exception.  Only this time, getting things running has put me over the edge.  Any of you who have ever worked and worked on your computer for hours on end, putting on programs and transferring files, to only have it crash again a few hours later...well, you know how frustrating that can be.  Been dealing with that for two weeks.  Finally figured out the new hard drive I got was bad.  At least now I have an answer to all my misery.  New drive to arrive tomorrow.  Fingers crossed on installing smoothly.

Then there is work.  OH GOD...work!  So much going on, which I can't get into here, but it has put me in overload.  Unfortunately, this stress won't be going away any time soon.  I'm learning to deal with it though, and finding a more sunny outlook on things.  Throw in some of the travel I've had to do, and being overly tired (my own fault on the tired part), and that hasn't helped the stress any.

So...how does all this manifest itself?  DV can be a real ass!  Invariably you seem to take it out on those you care for the most.  Probably because the are nearby, and are the only ones you can take it out on.  Not to mention, if they don't fully understand what all you are dealing with and going through, then those that mean the most to you can actually add to the mayhem.  It's not their fault for all you are having to deal with, but they are the ones that receive the brunt of the frustration when it comes pouring out.  And this, by the way, certainly isn't fair to them.

With all this...I apologize for my recent behavior.  I have not been the kind of man I need to be.  I have not acted in a way that is strengthening of my relationships.  Farthest from my mind and ability is my being the Dom that I want and need to be.  There are times we all deal with stress and problems in our lives.  It's how we handle these times that define us.  You must be aware of yourself, your attitude, and the affect it has on others, during these times.  If you don't, you can create even more problems and stress that you already had, and that does no one any good. 

I am fully aware of my misgivings and the way I have handled things lately.  My deepest apologies to those I have hurt or caused grief.  It was not my intention in any way, and I should have conducted myself in a more favorable manner.  Those I love mean the world to me.  To know they have been hurt (emotionally, not physically) by my actions bothers me to my core.  Please accept my apologies and know that I still love you with all I have.  I would never intentionally hurt those I love and care for.  Cyber flowers are the best I can do right now (for reasons those concerned will understand, as real ones can't be sent)...please accept them as a sign of my regret and remorse.

With Love and Sincerity,

DV

An Open Letter Of Rambling

Dear Someone,


Sometimes you just want to run away.
What are you running from? 
Stress?  Family?  Work? 
Does running make you feel better? 
Does it make the problems go away?
Doesn't it just create a whole new set of problems to go with the ones you already had? 

We all have bad days to go with the good ones.  We all have bad situations that arise to go with the good situations.  We all have periods of time in our lives we would prefer to not have to deal with, and that go along with the periods of time we wish would never end.  This is life.  This is how it is.  Good or bad, it is just how things happen and go sometimes.  But you know what?  This too will pass.  Things will work out. 

Sometimes you have to stop, step back, and look at the big picture.  Are things really that bad?  I can can promise you they can always be worse.  You just have to find your own way to deal with the problems, get them behind you, and get on with the important and enjoyable parts of life.  In the process, don't ever forget what is most important to you.  Don't ever forget those people that are most important to you.  Don't ever beat down those around you just because they happen to be close by.  Don't ever take your frustrations out on those you love, just because you can.  That never settles or fixes anything. 

When it comes to relationships and TTWD, there are always obstacles.  There is always "life" getting in the way.  You may not feel Domly.  You may not feel submissive.  You may hate how you can't see that person that is most important to you.  There may be too much distance.  Schedules may make life hectic.  But no matter what, don't forget what got you here.  Don't forget what there is between you and the one you love the most.  Don't forget the feelings and emotions that have brought you this far.  Just because things aren't "perfect" right now, doesn't mean it's an omen for everything to come. 

You must have faith.  You must be strong.  You must not lose hope.  You must keep your eye on the future and the possibilities.  Without that there is nothing.  Without hope, and dreams, and a goal, there is no point.  Without that special relationship, we wander alone and aimlessly.  Don't let the bad times sour everything that is good.  The good far outweighs the bad...it just doesn't seem like it sometimes.  Don't lose sight of what you know you want and need.  All the good is worth whatever bad must be faced.  If it's not, then you are better off cutting your losses now, and moving on to where the good is worth all the extra effort. 

With Love,

DV

(Sorry to ramble and be so cryptic.  I just needed to vent, get some things out, and get them off my chest.  I know you all are thinking DV has totally lost it and gone off the deep end.  I promise you I'm as sane as ever.  You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.)