November 27, 2015

Being Thankful and Giving Back...

I exchanged an email with my slave yesterday about the things I am thankful for in having her as mine.  Granted it was a bit on the naughty side and had pictures from Tumblr attached to it, but there was some seriousness to it as well.  I am very thankful for her, for all she is to me, all she gives to me, all she has been willing to have an open mind about and learn, and all she still has the potential to be and become.  She has com a long way since we first started talking several yeas ago.  When I stop to look back on where we were and where we are now it it light years apart.  She has helped me grow and become more as well,an for that I am most thankful.

Just as in everyday life, in this lifestyle we have to be thankful for what we have.  So many times we look at things from the point of view of what we don't have and wish we did.  We may look at or worry about what lies ahead instead of looking at what we have now and is right in front of us.  We can become complacent with where we are and take it for granted because we are too concerned about what is to come or what we wish we had instead.  I think it's important to take a minute to stop and look at what we have now and be very thankful for it.

In this lifestyle, I think it is also important to give back when we have the opportunity.  There are many that struggle with this, have questions, are looking for advice, or whatever the case may be.  We should take the time when the situation presents itself to try to help someone else learn, better understand, or lend an ear.

I get contacted by Dominants and submissives alike looking for help.  Maybe they have a specific question.  Maybe they feel lost and are looking for answers.  Maybe they need to know that wanting this lifestyle is not wrong and need some encouragement and support.  Maybe they are looking for advice on how to do a specific scene.  Whatever it may be, I am always happy to help, and enjoy doing so as well.  Yet, beyond that, I think it is also our duty to help.  My slave specifically understands that it is her place to help others if asked, and I expect that from her.  She has a lot of experience to be able to draw on to offer advice, teach others, and help people understand more clearly.  There have been times I have sent someone to her to talk to because I thought she could help, just as she has sent people to me.

Even all of us that have blogs, whether it i our direct intention or not, are helping others by sharing our experiences, the good and bad times, and what we face in this.  This gives others a chance to read what we write and draw on that for their own benefit.  So many times I have seen the comments on a blog post that tells the writer how much they appreciate them sharing their experiences and struggles because it helps them know they aren't alone, or it was a topic that fit their life at the time and made a huge difference.  When that happens we should be proud that we were able to share through our blog and it made a difference for someone.

I am thankful I am able to help others learn about this lifestyle.  That I am in a place where I can interact with others and teach them what this lifestyle really is about and can be.  Many times I learn more myself in helping others, as well as the gratification of knowing I was able to help.  I hope you all can help when you have the opportunity and make this lifestyle be better for someone else.  I hope you are thankful the opportunity to be able to help and find some enjoyment in doing so.  I know I do and my door is always open for whatever or whoever may come along.  So come on in, have a seat, and stay a while.  I only require an open mind and willingness to face what you may find.



  1. I do believe this is the most I've heard about your slave (directly anyway)...your feelings radiate through your post and it's heartwarming. :)

    I love being able to help people in all areas of my life (you're right, there is so much to learn/gain when you reach out and help), but being so new to D/s...what could I possibly to do help? I blog and that will have to do, for now.

    I'm so thankful for my fellow bloggers!! I have a *very* difficult time asking for help, but between comments I receive and posts from others, I get a ton of help without having to come out and ask directly. I'm pretty sure I would have gone insane by now if it wasn't for people like yourself. Lol.

    1. You're right, I don't talk much about my personal relationships. But there is a little snippet for you. ;)
      New to D/s or not, I think you underestimate the affect you have with your blog. You may not be giving help or advice directly, but by sharing your experiences and trials and tribulations you are doing that for many people. Just as you mention the help you get from other posts and the comments, a lot of people get the same from your blog. Keep up the good work and writing.

  2. how lovely to let her know how thankful you are to have her in your life and am sure she feels the same too DV...smiles...likewise I get emails from Dominants and submissives asking for help and if I cant help them I point them in the right direction so they receive the assistance they need.

    its nice that we in blogland are there for each other...

    best wishes to you both.


    1. I agree that it's nice to be able to be here for each other. It's like our own little extended internet blog family. Being able to offer help or point someone in the right direction is a blessing.

  3. I know I can't thank you enough Sir for all the care and attention you've shown me. You truly are a gentleman in every sense of the word. I don't blog personally, mainly because each post would read like War and Peace ;) , however the ones I follow have been nothing less than enriching. You are without a doubt my favorite if I had to choose <3

    1. Thanks so much Dani, and you are more than welcome! That means a lot. All the bloggers in this lifestyle have a lot to offer in their own way, that is for sure.

  4. Very much agreed. I cannot express how helpful the blogging community has been. There are so many intricate details to what we do in our respective roles that I couldn't imagine doing this without any support. My Man is not a blogging or research type but when we recently started discussing my difficulties in calming down after our play time (not the exact right word- but you get it) he talked about how he wanted me to help him navigate how to help me best. Very excited for us both!
    XOXO Pearl