In all seriousness, I was watching some of the women's gymnastics. The announcers were discussing the training regimen of one of the US Women. I say women, but really the are all very young. Anyway, they were talking about how talented yet stubborn she can be. It's just part of her personality. Her coach will push...she will push back...her coach will push more, etc... That was almost word for word how they described it. Sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it?
It takes a very strong coach to be able to train and push a gymnast like her. To stand up to her to make her be better. To make her become the best she can be. To push her past what she wants to do and thinks is necessary, in order to become more than she ever thought she could be. For the coach, I'm sure it can be very trying at times, yet it is the coach's job to not let her get the upper hand, and to keep her on track, improving, and progressing.
But I'm sure none of you know anything about strong willed stubborn women...right? LOL!
So, as a Dominant, be her coach. Be her lover. Be her rock to lean on. Be strong for her. this is what she wants and needs from you. She pushes back to make sure you are standing your ground. It's a test. Don't fail the test. Push her to be her best and allow her to be more than she knew she could be. Be her coach and together the two of you just might win the equivalent of a gold medal together.
14 comments:
I love this. I write so much in my blog about my need to be pushed back, not just given in to when I get stubborn or mouthy.
Yes, I know I need to submit sometimes, but it seems 100% of websites on this subject just assume the girl will give in whenever and however the Dom wants, no questions asked, and if she does ask a question, just spank her and she'll learn forever.
Well, I've been spanked, and it just made me angrier and mouthier, and when it did get me to submit, I was back in full mouthy force within a day or two.
Sometimes, the reality of this lifestyle is not the fantasy world Fetlife and other websites make it seem. Thank you for realizing this, you sound like a great Dom.
Incidentally, are you still with your previous sub?
Thanks so much for your comments. I think it would be helpful to all of us to know, since you don't particularly respond well to spanking, in what ways do you respond well? Or what do you need to be put and kept in your place when someone pushes back at you. For so many people, I think spanking is a great tool, but not for everyone. This is why I ask this, so that maybe we can all learn other techniques and approaches.
My previous sub...hmmm...I guess that depends on how far back you are talking. LOL! I only remember mentioning one a few times last year, and no we are not still together. Life got in the way and made things difficult.
DV
"strong willed, stubborn, head strong submissive" I have never heard of such a thing!
In all seriousness though, I really liked this post.
*looks around in amazement* strong willed? stubborn? head-strong submissive? surely there's no such thing!!
LOL .thanks for writing this. It touches me deeply.
The bossman likes strong willed submissives but he also likes obedience which i found conflicting, but i realise its about me pushing myself as well as being pushed, he wants me to the best i can be in all that i engage in not just our relationship.
I like to be controlled, i thrive on it so for the most part i am obedient because i want to please him, but by no means is it an easy path and there are moments when i struggle and resist his control and i need and i look to him to push me past what im resisting.
x
Great post, great comparison. I do want to be pushed. I want to know He can stand up to my worst. I'm not a brat, am not a child-but I am a strong woman and that means I want a strong man-nothing you don't already know!
Loved it and thanks Melissa to pointing me int he direction of this post and blog!
this is so very true and every dominant new or old should read this post...thank you for sharing. I am very much an argumentative pushy headstrong stubborn submissive (extremely contrary i know) but hey its me. My HOH doesnt often push me hard enough and i so wish he would. He often says he will break me, eventually, I dont know...i want him to but time will tell. Maybe i should direct him to this post :)
Im kiwi btw - i do have a blog love honour and obey over at blog spot - just on hiatus at the moment as i have a broken arm. Back soon though. Will add you to my list once im back :D
kiwi x
LMAO I'm sure you haven't! ;)
What's with all you people never hearing of such a woman?!?! Maybe I struck a chord within all of you. LOL! Glad you enjoyed it!
I think this is the main point. There is the desire to be controlled and to please, yet at times you need to be pushed to it. It's not always something that happens just as being submissive. Many times you have to be pushed and have your submission brought out. That's the Dom's job. Sometimes you submit on your own, and other times you are made to submit. It's both that are needed.
It does take a strong man to stand up and be able to be what a strong woman needs. Anything less is not enough. That doesn't mean you always need him being overly strong with you, but when needed, you need to know he can and will.
Thanks for coming over and reading my post. Glad you enjoyed it. :)
Thanks for topping by Kiwi, and sorry to hear about your arm. I appreciate your comment, and yes it can seem contrary and contradictory at times. But...that is D/s for you. I look forward to checking out your blog.
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