March 10, 2012

Choosing Your Path (More Stepping Stones)

In my last post (The Stepping Stones Of Life), one of the comments brought up a good point.  Kitty mentioned that we do have choices and we can carve our own path through life.  And yes, I do agree with her.  (don't tell her she might get the big head lol)  Actually, I think it is a combination of many things interwoven...fate, destiny, choice.  A mixture of all of this is what leads us down the path we are on. 

Some things presented to us are outside of our control, while others are based on our choices.  It's how we handle and deal with the situations and people presented to us that direct us down the path of life.  We all have a conscious choice in how we deal with people.  We have a choice in how handle certain situations.  Life may be laid out before us, but it's our own choices that ultimately lay out the path we are on. 

Many times things go bad.  Situations and relationships seem to fall apart.  It is easy to look back, see the problems, and wish you had done something differently.  Hindsight is always 20/20.  But we have to realize, in the moment of making a choice, it is made either spontaneously, based on emotion, based on some educated guess or experience, or a combination of all three.  Whatever the case, when that decision was made, at that point and time, it is what you wanted.  Even when things outside of our control are presented to us, it's the choices made and how you deal with them that define you. 

The real problem is when we look back, have regrets and hard feelings and have a problem dealing with the situation.  Good or bad, we choose who to have by our side on our stepping stones.  You choose who to keep with you and who to leave behind.  There are times when those choices are right and sometimes they are wrong.  And sometimes we get stuck on a stone looking back and dwelling on what has been, rather than looking forward, taking your experiences with you, learning from them, and continuing to move forward. 

There is nothing in the past you can change.  It has happened and will always be there.  It's how you deal with that matters.  Staying static and dwelling on the past , especially when the past is not so great, is a horrible way to live.  It can take all the strength you have to pick up your feet and leave it behind.  You should never forget, and should always learn from your experiences, but you shouldn't live in past moments and dwell upon them.  Live in the now and what you feel and hope lies ahead. 

Don't get stuck on your stepping stone, looking back and regretting all you see.  Life is too short to be angry, miserable, upset and less than what you are capable.  Face forward, realize what you have now, where you are, and where you want to be, without forgetting where you have been.  Keep your chin up, hold your head high, and be proud of who you are.  There is only one you, so be the best you that you can be...for yourself and those you choose to let join you on your Steeping Stones of Life.


  1. Thank you DV for your thoughts.

    I might have to print this out and reread it again and again. :)

    Your post really spoke to me. Thank you.

    Fondly, Sky

    1. I'm glad to know it Sky! Always happy to help. And especially being able to write something that someone wants to keep handy to re-read so they can remind themselves not to dwell, but keep moving forward. Thank you!

  2. I love your perspective here DV. It feels very Zen, and very realistic to me. We do have choices in how we react, but often not in what challenges we're handed. And if we put our energy into mourning the past, or worrying about the future for that matter, we may miss the opportunity to create a life worth living...

    Thank you.


    1. Thank you for the Zen comment. Yes, we are free thinking individuals and are able to make choices. And missing the chance to make a life worth living for ourselves is not a good option. Especially when it's because we are too busy worrying and dwelling on what is behind us instead of what may lie ahead.

  3. DV,

    I was hesitant to comment because I never want to come across as an overbearing religious person, but last Sunday my pastor had a very similar message and I kept reading your stepping stone posts... and I just have to comment.

    His message was that if we are living and breathing we still have a purpose in life to fulfill, but it is our choice to take the steps to fulfill it.
    He spoke about how past experiences and uncertainty can keep us from taking those steps but that it is important to keep moving forward because that is how we can eventually realize our purpose.

    He compared taking these steps to being in an underground mine where there is little light and you can only see what is directly in front of you. We may not always be able to see the big picture or understand where we are going, but if we take life one step at time, evaluating each step and making sure we're on the "right" path, we will eventually get to that destination where we understand all that we've went through, why we had to go through it, and what our purpose is.

    He, of course, explained it much better, but it's been on my mind and I wanted to share.

    Thank you for your posts,

    1. Thanks so much for your comments and explanation. I'm sure he explained it even much better than I did or could. The point, however, seems to be the same. We don't always know our path or why, but it's important to stay on track and keep trying to move forward. That can be a very difficult task sometimes, but can make us stronger and wiser and more prepared for what is further down the path of our lives.

  4. DV,

    Too late, my head is already big, lol! Seriously, though, what you wrote is so true. It does no good to dwell on the past, wallowing in things that are impossible to change. Daddy calls it mental masturbation, but somehow it's not near as pleasurable;).


    1. LOL I couldn't resist, Kitty! WE all have to stop and reflect on life and what we have been through, especially during overly tumultuous times. But, that doesn't mean we should stay at that place and get lost in that moment. You can't change it. You can only learn from it to know more than you did previously. And no, it's no where near as pleasurable. LOL!

  5. Such wise words definitely worth listening to.