Adjusting To The New Norm...

As mentioned in an earlier post, the past year has been full of changes.  Most notably has been our marriage.  As I tend to remind Hds (His devoated slave), she is now legally bound to me as my slave.  In reality, the small ceremony in the family backyard had no mention of this, and there is no legal paperwork stating this, but in our minds and as far as we are concerned she is now legally mine.  That is how we think, view it, and conduct our relationship.  It is the basis of what we have, and has been from the first time we spoke.

We have always talked about wanting and needing a 24/7 relationship.  It is what we have both been striving to attain.  Yet, this has turned out to also be one of the biggest struggles to actually implement and put into practice.  You see... when we were not married and living separately it was easy to get into the Master/slave mindset when we had time together.  Not being together all the time, in looking back at it now, sort of made it easier to implement when we were together.  It has always been a part of who we are and has always been there between us.  It has always been a part of our conversations and the foundation of our relationship, whether together or not.  Yet, when you aren't together all the time you have that downtime to yourself and then can actively engage in it when you are together. 

We have always enjoyed being able to joke around, cut up with each other, and just enjoy time together.  We have also always enjoyed our Master/slave dynamic.  Now that we are married and together full time it's more about finding the balance between the two that has been a challenge.  It's not realistic to be, for a lack of a better way to put it, in full on "Master Mode" constantly.  Don't get me wrong, the dynamic is always there.  We both want, need, and naturally are in our respective roles.  The challenge is more in finding the balance in our dynamic in every day life versus being able to move more into "Master Mode", and the back and forth.  I'm not sure that makes much sense as I try to explain it, but it doesn't roll out of my head clearly explainable. 

Another part of the challenge is there are always others present in the house now.  One college age teenager living at home, another pre-teen that is a part timer in the house, and recently a 91 year old grandmother that we moved in to take care of instead of in a nursing home.  Least to stay, breaking out the belt for a beating (I say beating lovingly, of course) and the loud whacks as it snaps across her ass, or having my way with Hds and making her scream and orgasm uncontrollably isn't exactly something as easily accomplished as before.  We did once take advantage of being alone only to have two of the older kids come home and through the door before we realized it and they got to hear their mom making noises that sounded like an exorcism was in progress.  That was awkward, as yo can imagine, but another post all to it's own. 

Even with all the challenges and adjustments we both still wouldn't change it for anything.  We are right where we have aimed to be and have what we intended.  Making it all work hasn't been the easiest or roads to travel, but then again the journey is half the fun.  There is a still a lot of trial and error in an effort to find what works, what doesn't how best to go about certain circumstances, etc... but we will eventually settle into it.  Of course, then something at home will change and we will have to adjust again, but that's life and we will face it when it is upon us.

~DV~

My Collar

The Christmas season is generally not a stressful time for me.  I learned long ago that if I can get the majority of my shopping done prior to Thanksgiving, then I can spend the rest of my time putting up the tree, decorating, and enjoying the season.  But this year, outside stresses have decided to pile it on!

I work my professional job Monday-Thursday.  I also own a small side business where I get to use my creativity and play with power tools.  I generally take my last orders for Christmas one week prior, but this year I had a couple of requests that I caved and agreed too.  Two items I outsourced to have cut.  The delivery came yesterday and I knew I had plenty of time to finished them up and have delivered before Christmas.  Until I opened the box....One of the items was spelled wrong and cut in the wrong font.  Three items were each broke in three pieces, and two items were broke in half.  Of course it is now too late to have them recut and finished before Christmas.  I hate having to tell customers that I have failed them and now they are going to be scrambling to come up with another gift idea.  That was the last straw for me last night.  I just broke down and all the little things that have been piling up over the last week came pouring out in a ugly cry. 

"This is spelled wrong and in the wrong font.  These are broke, and these are broke. This customer issue.  This rude customer.  Plus, I have piles all over the house and garage of items that need to be finished, picked up, or delivered.  Having to lay down X amount for a new dryer 4 days before Christmas is not my idea of a good time.  My kids are grown and scattered in 3 different states so they won't be home for Christmas.  I miss my grandbabies.   The little one is struggling with daddy not being there when she wakes Christmas morning, and that breaks my heart for her.  I have to make something to bring to the work luncheon on Monday.  I have to make homemade rolls for our family Christmas lunch at your parent's house.  I'm angry about these orders and I hate disappointing customers.  I'm just overwhelmed and tired"  

Poor Master just had it laid on him in true "ugly cry" fashion.  He calmly asked "What do you need"  "What can I do for you"  I had no answer for him.  None of this can be fixed.  It just is what it is.

That's when he got up and walked in our room.  When he came back, he had my collar in his hands.  When he placed it around my neck, I immediately have this sense of peace wash over me.  I doesn't fix the previously stated issues, but it puts it on the back burner and allows my mind to stop for a while and gives me the break I need from all of it.  I wrapped my fingers through the O ring as I laid my head in his lap.  The next thing I know, he is waking me up and telling me it's time to go to bed.  I slept with my collar on.  I'm still wearing it as I type this out.  If  Master allows it, I will wear it until I have to leave tomorrow morning.  

I have always been in awe at how everything within me changes the moment Master places the collar around my neck.  How it calms me and refocuses my thoughts on what is important.  It reminds me of my place and who I am.  As much as I try to please my customers, the only person I truly need to please is Master DV.  When I'm stressed and upset, that doesn't please him.  So going forward, there will be changes in my side business, and the time I spend with my family.  

I woke this morning with a clear head and able to logically think through the issues weighing on me last night.  Things break during shipping.  People make mistakes.  I do the best I can for my customers and they know this.  I can't make everyone happy.  The rude ones will no longer be given my time.  Our kids grow up and start their own lives. (that one will probably always be a hard one for this momma)  Sometimes life isn't fair or easy.  This dish I'm bringing to our work luncheon will only take me 15 minutes to throw together.  The rolls don't have to be done until Christmas morning.  Plus I totally rock my homemade rolls so it's worth it.  Master knows that I have been busy and he hasn't said a word about me taking over the garage, the dinning room and part of his office.  After Monday, I have the next 6 days to get our home back in order.  More importantly, this is our first Christmas as husband and wife, Master and slave.

I love my collar!  I love it for all that it represents and for all that it does for me mentally as well as physically!

His devoted slave 

       

Hello Blogland!

Master DV has given me an assignment to write my first post introducing myself.  I’m not the writer that he is, but here goes…

I am Hds (His devoted slave), Master DV’s slave wife.  As he had mentioned in his previous post, we have been through a lot of changes, struggles, and adjustments over the years, but those struggles brought us closer and made us stronger.  Much of moving into 24/7 has been very natural, yet we have had our adjustments trying to navigate in the M/s area and figuring out what works best for us.  We also have had the usual adjustments when two people move in together.  For example…I think ketchup belongs in the fridge, and he feels it belongs in the pantry.  Seriously…the pantry!  Yuck!  Outside of the ketchup issue, we both feel very blessed to finally have exactly what we have wanted and had been working towards.  

I have always loved his writings and his views on this lifestyle, and I have been trying to get him to start writing again for a while now.  Adding me and making this a joint blog….I didn’t see that one coming!  You all know that he rarely writes and talks about his personal life, so this came as a bit of a shock to me.  It has also made me feel incredibly honored that he would want me to be a part of this.  

Master DV had given a bit of an insight as to what has been happening over the years.  I will just leave it at that for now since much of it will probably end up being it’s own individual post over time.

I would just like to end with thanking Master DV for this assignment and entrusting me with his blog that he has put so much time into over the years.  Being his slave wife is truly a blessing and my greatest pleasure!

His devoted slave

Long Time, No see...

Hello blogland!  Long time no see.  Well... you haven't seen much of me anyway.  I have still been following many of you and reading your posts from time to time, but have remained quietly in the shadows.  I turned into one of those lurkers, I suppose. 

So much has happened the past few years since I was writing and posting consistently.  Where do I even begin?  As some of you have seen, my blog was not available for a while.  I finally finished my book and self-published it.  It was a compilation of my posts and organized by content type.  The place where it was published (the giant bookseller we all know) required me to not have my blog active in order to be able to reach the most people.  I wasn't writing anyway, so I gave it a try.  Didn't gain me much activity so I have re-activated my blog.  The book is still available if you'd like a copy and don't want to scroll through my entire blog. 

On a personal front, I wrote long ago and provided some insight on my marital situation and how it had all but fallen apart.  We basically had an open marriage and stayed together for our daughter.  That finally reached the tipping point and I got divorced.  It has been a struggle at times.  As much as we were on the same page and both knew it was for the best, there have been times it hasn't gone as smooth as either of us would have liked.  I guess no divorce ever has, and every divorce can be contentious at times.  I can say we have remained friends and get along a majority of the time.  We do our best to co-parent our daughter, who has had her own struggles with it all.  Luckily we are friends and can hang out and get along so it could be much worse.

On a better note, several years ago my slave, who had been long distance relationship for over three years, decided to move so we could be together.  She basically packed up and moved across the country, with her teenage daughter in tow.  They both needed a fresh start in a new place.  I think it was a culture shock for a while, but they have since settled in nicely to the deep south southern life.  The move has been good for them both and they will both tell you they are acclimated southerners now.

In June of this year we tied the knot and married.  We both finally had what we had always wanted... to be married and able to live as legally joined Master and slave.  Both living under the same roof for the first time the way we had talked about and dreamed for a long time.  We were both used to the way things were, so being together 24/7 has had it's challenges.  It has been an adjustment for us both, but all for the good.  If I could just get her to behave like the slave she is then t would be great.  Although, she will say it's my job to make her behave.  That's part of the challenge we are adjusting to in living this on a daily basis. 

There have also been some health scares for her during 2019.  Health issues that ended up requiring surgery.  And then an additional follow-up surgery.  And then an emergency surgery less than 24 hours after the second due to a complication that arose.  I won't go into all the details in this post, as that is a post all to it's own, but life threatening situations will certainly make you re-think what is important. 

So where does that leave us going forward?  HDs (HisDevotedslave) will tell you that she has been trying to get me writing again for quite a while.  My problem is that I can't write just to write.  I have to feel it and want to write.  Yet, I think it's probably about time to get this going again.  My Dauntless Journey has now become "Our" Dauntless Journey, and sharing our journey together is the direction I see this moving.

Any of you that have followed my blog know that all my writing has been based on situations dealing with Dominants and submissives.  I have rarely, if ever written about my own relationships and daily happenings.  I have always kept things less personal, yet giving insight into the various mental and emotional aspects of this lifestyle.  That is about to change, I believe.  I think it's time to provide more of a view into our lives and what we face and encounter, both good and bad.  Some of it in relation to our Master/slave dynamic, and some more vanilla pertaining to our trying to navigate this on day in and day out basis.  After some thought, I will likely add HDs as a co-author for this blog and have her provide some posts and thoughts as well.  I think it will be good to provide thoughts and views form both sides of the aisle. 

I hope some of you are still out there and following.  I do realize that due to my prolonged absence many of you have probably gone away.  That is ok, and I wouldn't have waited around for me either.  For those of you still hanging around, the new chapter of the Journey has begun, and I look forward to sharing it with you.

~DV~

My New Book...

Hello everyone!  Well the two of you that probably still following me.  Yes. it's been a while, but I am alive and well. 

In my absence I was not completely dormant and doing nothing.  I have been compiling my blog into a book.  The book, A Dauntless Journey, is now complete and is available on Amazon.  It is a collection of my blog posts from here on Blogger.  The book has been organized into content type to put similar subject matter together by section.  Who knew one day I would become a real author?!?!  Well, kind of anyway.

I invite you to stop by Amazon and pick up a copy.  Get a second copy and send to a friend while you are there.  If you need it, there is a free Kindle Reader App you can download for your phone, tablet, or computer to allow you to read the book.  Most devices already have it installed. 

My book can be found here... A Dauntless Journey

Thanks to everyone that has supported me and provided insight and encouragement over the years that provided me the ability to write all I have.

~DV~

Pushing Her Mental Boundaries...

I have been asked about the theme of my tumblr blog and it being BDSM related yet I post a lot of girl on girl pics.  There isn’t a simple answer to this.  It’s much more involved then one might think.  Of course, there is the fact that those pics are just plain hot and I post them because I like them.  Yet, it also goes deeper than that in relation to my slave.

My slave has always had bisexual desires and found women attractive.  Getting her to admit she has those desires has been a bit more of a challenge.  It has taken work and time and patience.  It has taken a lot of support and encouragement in letting her know that it is ok to desire the things she does, not just with her bisexuality but also being the slave she needs to be, her desire and love of pain, and a whole host of other things.  It has taken her becoming more secure in what we have, who she is for me, and that we are in this together no matter what.  Everyone has those certain mental boundaries that are an issue for them, and her admitting her desires for women has been one of those.

There are multiple levels to her coming to terms with her bisexuality, or at least the desire for it, and how it fits within our Master/slave relationship.  She has the thoughts of her being made to please other women.  Her being allowed to make other women please her.  Her bringing another woman to her Master for him to enjoy while she has to watch, or maybe she will be allowed to join.  Us bringing another woman into our relationship on a longer term basis to teach and to submit to us and become a part of what we have.  

There are many possible ways to involve another woman and she loves the thought of them all, but that has taken time to get to this point.  This is where it is your job as a Dominant or Master to work with her.  Something like this can’t be forced or demanded.  It can’t be shoved down her throat (no pun intended) as an ultimatum.  I guess it could be, but you won’t get the desired result from doing it that way.  She may do it if forced, but she won’t be doing it because she wants it.  I would much rather help her get there, help her accept her desires, and help her embrace her desires so that it is something she wants and needs, and isn’t something she is doing just because she is required.  To me, that is the sign of a good leader… inspire her to do more and become more, not force it upon her.  Lead her to want to do it and not just do it because she has no choice.  

Back to the original question… why do I post girl on girl and threesome pics?  Because we both like them.  It’s something we both enjoy.  I know she will be looking at my tumblr, as I will be hers, and seeing what pics have been posted.  It helps us talk about these fantasies and thoughts and communicate more about it.  Because it turns her on to post and see these pics and embrace her desires.  So yes, they are hot and we just like them, but there is also a deeper reasoning behind posting them that helps to fuel our Master/slave relationship and what we both want from it together.  

~DV~

Don't Trust The Vultures...

I saw this cartoon and had to laugh.  It is a funny blurb.  But then it immediately got me to thinking.  It seems as though this is so true in real life.  Many times people seem supportive and encouraging, yet they aren't doing it for your benefit, but rather for their own personal reasons and gain.

Because it's the way my brain works, I immediately related this picture and my thoughts to this lifestyle.  Trust is the cornerstone of it all.  Being able to trust someone, or a group of people in this lifestyle is at the core essence of all this is.  Domination requires trust.  Submission requires trust.  If you don't have that trust then you have nothing.  The vultures will try to push and test you, regardless of trust.  Don't let them!

So many times I read about people who have put their trust in someone only to have that trust completely violated.  More times than not this is a submissive putting their trust in a "Dom" to only find out the hard way that the trust was not earned or warranted.  The so called "Dom" had only his own agenda and desires in mind and was manipulating the sub for his own benefit.  What seemed like encouragement was really just pushing someone to a place where there was no good outcome.

So how does a person know who to trust?  I wish there was an easy answer to this, but there isn't.  I wish I could say follow these certain steps to e able to know if you can trust someone, but I can't.  It takes time and getting to know someone.  It takes time and action to back up words to develop and build trust.  Trust is earned over time, not demanded, required, or blindly given.

You should never give yourself completely until you feel someone has earned your trust enough to deserve that from you.  Never put yourself in a position with someone that could cause you harm if you don't know whether they do have your best interest at heart.  You have to know that person has your best interest and well being as their utmost concern.  Trust your gut on this as well.  Your heart and head may tell you one thing, but your gut feelings will rarely if ever be wrong.  If something feels wrong or off then it probably is.  You may not be able to put your finger on exactly what isn't right, but if you have that feeling then it's not worth the potential bad outcome to continue.

Learning to trust can be difficult.  Learning who to trust can be hard as well.  Surround yourself with those you know you can trust and rely on.  Make sure you don't put yourself in a position to be used for the benefit of others, and to your own demise.  Safety and well being above all else.  The right people will completely understand this and be patient with you.  They won't push you to a place they know you aren't comfortable and/or know you don't want to go.  They won't make you feel bad or belittle you for not doing something that feels wrong.  Trust yourself and your own feelings first and foremost.  the rest will come in time as it should.