This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you...

As mentioned in the last post by Hds, I am struggling physically.  I have a herniated disc in my neck and surgery is looming not far away.  If you have never had this issue Then I hope you don't ever have to go through it.  The neck pain and soreness itself is not that bad.  The radiating nerve pain in my shoulder and down the arm is the main issue.  Along with numbness in a couple of my fingers, or if I move the right way my entire hand starts tingling and going numb.  This has slowly been getting worse and no other attempts to resolve it have helped, hence the need for surgery.  It wasn't too noticeable at first, but now the weakness and lack or coordination in my hand and arm are becoming more apparent. 

One of the rules I have with Hds is she is to text me when she gets to work in the morning so I know she made it safely.  She is also to text me when heading home in the evenings so I know she is on the road and on her way.  She has a bit of a drive and a fair amount of traffic to deal with, so it is somewhat a safety thing as well as my own peace of mind.  Least to say she tends to forget at times.  I have to ask if she made it to work. Or, she just comes walking in at home, which leads me to ask why she is home because I didn't even know she was on the road.  She has even tried to be sneaky and text me from a block away and then she walks in the door just minutes later.  This is usually a 30-45 minute drive depending on traffic, to which I say "nice try Hds" and her usual response is "well I did text you to let you know I was on my way home". 

The punishment for not letting me know she is on the road is usually five whips with the belt (not the fun kind).  Granted, I'm not always good with my follow-through on carrying out the punishment.  I have been doing better, but she gets some kind of masochistic joy out of poking the sadist and pointing out that she ca do what she likes because I won't follow through on it anyway.  A couple of days ago Hds comes walking in while not sending me a text she was on her way home.  After pointing this out, I grabbed her hand and began leading her to the bedroom. 

Hds  "Wait... no... where are we going?"
DV  "To give you the punishment you have earned for not texting"
Hds  "Wait... no... you can't do that!"
DV  "Excuse me?!?!
Hds  "I mean... the kids are home!  Grandma will hear it!  Don't wake up Grandma!"
DV  "No the kids aren't home and Grandma is asleep." (as Hds is being bent over the bed)
DV  "Trust me, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." (referring to my arm pain)
Hds  "Damn that hurt!"  (after receiving her 5 lashes with the belt)
DV  "Isn't that the point?  You're not supposed to like it!  You need to be held accountable for your actions, or lack thereof!"  
Hds  "Yes Sir!"

I will be the first to admit I haven't been as good with following through with holding Hds accountable as I need to be.  This has been part of the learning curve and us figuring out how to find our balance.  I need to do better and have been trying to do better at being more of the Master she needs me to be... that I need to be for me.  Least to say, my current health situation has not made this any easier.  It's a daily struggle most of the time right now, and finding the energy, mentally or physically, or difficult.  Yet, we will push through it and persevere.  We will get there, or at least enjoy the Journey in trying to get there.  Even if that means Hds tries to take advantage of my weakened state to do what she wishes, I have to suffer through punishing her and holding her accountable, and knowing that swinging the belt will hurt me more than it hurts her.  In her defense, she really does not like to disobey, or certainly do it on purpose.  She isn't the brat type, and for that I am thankful.  She has been very good to me in trying to help and take care of me.  This is a good thing, because there is much more to come!

~DV~

Adjusting To The new Norm Part 2...a slave's view

Most days my slavery comes so natural, but every now and again I find myself struggling with feeling my slave-hood and I need that little reminder from Master.  Sometimes a look is all it takes to snap me back into my place.  And sometimes I need more.  I need to physically feel his control and ownership.  It could be a sharp slap on my ass or across my cheek that gets my attention redirected and focused on where it should be.  Then there are times that I need more.  I need a firm grip of my hair and being told to please his cock as he pushes me to me knees.  I need to be taken and used merely for his pleasure.  I need a strong hand and a reminder of who I am and where I belong.  I need to feel him!

As you may  have read in Master's previous post, there has been some struggle with adjusting to our new norm.  Adjusting to living together and the day to day stuff has been quite easy and has felt like a natural transition.  However, we have additional responsibilities that the average newlyweds don't normally have.  We have the 19yr old living at home while going to college.   We have the 12yr old that thinks she's 19 and should have the same rights as the 19yr old.  We also have the 91yr old that for the most part is pretty self sufficient, but still needs help on a daily basis.  Our home feels like Grand Central Station with everyone coming and going.  Needless to say, there has been very little alone time for the boss and I.  The cherry on top of our madness...Master's spanking arm is injured! 

*insert tears*

As I sit here writing this, I am doing so with some heavy guilt.  You see, I have been feeling a bit neglected.  Actually, I feel like we have been neglecting "us"  and I haven't exactly been handling it with the grace of a slave.  As I sit here I can hear Master helping his grandmother to bed.  We have a baby monitor in her room so that we can hear her if she needs anything during the night.  Right now I hear him kiss her goodnight and say "I love you MaMa"  

*insert more tears*

That's right kids, the big Domly DV loves his MaMa!  He adores her and she him.  He is amazing with her.  As hard as it has been, and as much work and worry that it can be, I am incredibly happy for Master that he is able to have this time with her.  She tells me just about every day "don't tell anyone this, but he has always been my favorite grandchild"  And just like that the feelings of neglect are replaced with feelings of selfishness.  I've been thinking of myself and my own selfish wants/needs instead of keeping my focus where it belongs...on my Master, on his wants and needs, and my service to him.  

Perhaps I should make time in the mornings for a some slave meditation to start my day off in the right direction.  Perhaps I should stop right here before I give Master any ideas that could result in less sleep for this slave!! 

His devoted slave

Adjusting To The New Norm...

As mentioned in an earlier post, the past year has been full of changes.  Most notably has been our marriage.  As I tend to remind Hds (His devoated slave), she is now legally bound to me as my slave.  In reality, the small ceremony in the family backyard had no mention of this, and there is no legal paperwork stating this, but in our minds and as far as we are concerned she is now legally mine.  That is how we think, view it, and conduct our relationship.  It is the basis of what we have, and has been from the first time we spoke.

We have always talked about wanting and needing a 24/7 relationship.  It is what we have both been striving to attain.  Yet, this has turned out to also be one of the biggest struggles to actually implement and put into practice.  You see... when we were not married and living separately it was easy to get into the Master/slave mindset when we had time together.  Not being together all the time, in looking back at it now, sort of made it easier to implement when we were together.  It has always been a part of who we are and has always been there between us.  It has always been a part of our conversations and the foundation of our relationship, whether together or not.  Yet, when you aren't together all the time you have that downtime to yourself and then can actively engage in it when you are together. 

We have always enjoyed being able to joke around, cut up with each other, and just enjoy time together.  We have also always enjoyed our Master/slave dynamic.  Now that we are married and together full time it's more about finding the balance between the two that has been a challenge.  It's not realistic to be, for a lack of a better way to put it, in full on "Master Mode" constantly.  Don't get me wrong, the dynamic is always there.  We both want, need, and naturally are in our respective roles.  The challenge is more in finding the balance in our dynamic in every day life versus being able to move more into "Master Mode", and the back and forth.  I'm not sure that makes much sense as I try to explain it, but it doesn't roll out of my head clearly explainable. 

Another part of the challenge is there are always others present in the house now.  One college age teenager living at home, another pre-teen that is a part timer in the house, and recently a 91 year old grandmother that we moved in to take care of instead of in a nursing home.  Least to stay, breaking out the belt for a beating (I say beating lovingly, of course) and the loud whacks as it snaps across her ass, or having my way with Hds and making her scream and orgasm uncontrollably isn't exactly something as easily accomplished as before.  We did once take advantage of being alone only to have two of the older kids come home and through the door before we realized it and they got to hear their mom making noises that sounded like an exorcism was in progress.  That was awkward, as yo can imagine, but another post all to it's own. 

Even with all the challenges and adjustments we both still wouldn't change it for anything.  We are right where we have aimed to be and have what we intended.  Making it all work hasn't been the easiest or roads to travel, but then again the journey is half the fun.  There is a still a lot of trial and error in an effort to find what works, what doesn't how best to go about certain circumstances, etc... but we will eventually settle into it.  Of course, then something at home will change and we will have to adjust again, but that's life and we will face it when it is upon us.

~DV~

My Collar

The Christmas season is generally not a stressful time for me.  I learned long ago that if I can get the majority of my shopping done prior to Thanksgiving, then I can spend the rest of my time putting up the tree, decorating, and enjoying the season.  But this year, outside stresses have decided to pile it on!

I work my professional job Monday-Thursday.  I also own a small side business where I get to use my creativity and play with power tools.  I generally take my last orders for Christmas one week prior, but this year I had a couple of requests that I caved and agreed too.  Two items I outsourced to have cut.  The delivery came yesterday and I knew I had plenty of time to finished them up and have delivered before Christmas.  Until I opened the box....One of the items was spelled wrong and cut in the wrong font.  Three items were each broke in three pieces, and two items were broke in half.  Of course it is now too late to have them recut and finished before Christmas.  I hate having to tell customers that I have failed them and now they are going to be scrambling to come up with another gift idea.  That was the last straw for me last night.  I just broke down and all the little things that have been piling up over the last week came pouring out in a ugly cry. 

"This is spelled wrong and in the wrong font.  These are broke, and these are broke. This customer issue.  This rude customer.  Plus, I have piles all over the house and garage of items that need to be finished, picked up, or delivered.  Having to lay down X amount for a new dryer 4 days before Christmas is not my idea of a good time.  My kids are grown and scattered in 3 different states so they won't be home for Christmas.  I miss my grandbabies.   The little one is struggling with daddy not being there when she wakes Christmas morning, and that breaks my heart for her.  I have to make something to bring to the work luncheon on Monday.  I have to make homemade rolls for our family Christmas lunch at your parent's house.  I'm angry about these orders and I hate disappointing customers.  I'm just overwhelmed and tired"  

Poor Master just had it laid on him in true "ugly cry" fashion.  He calmly asked "What do you need"  "What can I do for you"  I had no answer for him.  None of this can be fixed.  It just is what it is.

That's when he got up and walked in our room.  When he came back, he had my collar in his hands.  When he placed it around my neck, I immediately have this sense of peace wash over me.  I doesn't fix the previously stated issues, but it puts it on the back burner and allows my mind to stop for a while and gives me the break I need from all of it.  I wrapped my fingers through the O ring as I laid my head in his lap.  The next thing I know, he is waking me up and telling me it's time to go to bed.  I slept with my collar on.  I'm still wearing it as I type this out.  If  Master allows it, I will wear it until I have to leave tomorrow morning.  

I have always been in awe at how everything within me changes the moment Master places the collar around my neck.  How it calms me and refocuses my thoughts on what is important.  It reminds me of my place and who I am.  As much as I try to please my customers, the only person I truly need to please is Master DV.  When I'm stressed and upset, that doesn't please him.  So going forward, there will be changes in my side business, and the time I spend with my family.  

I woke this morning with a clear head and able to logically think through the issues weighing on me last night.  Things break during shipping.  People make mistakes.  I do the best I can for my customers and they know this.  I can't make everyone happy.  The rude ones will no longer be given my time.  Our kids grow up and start their own lives. (that one will probably always be a hard one for this momma)  Sometimes life isn't fair or easy.  This dish I'm bringing to our work luncheon will only take me 15 minutes to throw together.  The rolls don't have to be done until Christmas morning.  Plus I totally rock my homemade rolls so it's worth it.  Master knows that I have been busy and he hasn't said a word about me taking over the garage, the dinning room and part of his office.  After Monday, I have the next 6 days to get our home back in order.  More importantly, this is our first Christmas as husband and wife, Master and slave.

I love my collar!  I love it for all that it represents and for all that it does for me mentally as well as physically!

His devoted slave 

       

Hello Blogland!

Master DV has given me an assignment to write my first post introducing myself.  I’m not the writer that he is, but here goes…

I am Hds (His devoted slave), Master DV’s slave wife.  As he had mentioned in his previous post, we have been through a lot of changes, struggles, and adjustments over the years, but those struggles brought us closer and made us stronger.  Much of moving into 24/7 has been very natural, yet we have had our adjustments trying to navigate in the M/s area and figuring out what works best for us.  We also have had the usual adjustments when two people move in together.  For example…I think ketchup belongs in the fridge, and he feels it belongs in the pantry.  Seriously…the pantry!  Yuck!  Outside of the ketchup issue, we both feel very blessed to finally have exactly what we have wanted and had been working towards.  

I have always loved his writings and his views on this lifestyle, and I have been trying to get him to start writing again for a while now.  Adding me and making this a joint blog….I didn’t see that one coming!  You all know that he rarely writes and talks about his personal life, so this came as a bit of a shock to me.  It has also made me feel incredibly honored that he would want me to be a part of this.  

Master DV had given a bit of an insight as to what has been happening over the years.  I will just leave it at that for now since much of it will probably end up being it’s own individual post over time.

I would just like to end with thanking Master DV for this assignment and entrusting me with his blog that he has put so much time into over the years.  Being his slave wife is truly a blessing and my greatest pleasure!

His devoted slave

Long Time, No see...

Hello blogland!  Long time no see.  Well... you haven't seen much of me anyway.  I have still been following many of you and reading your posts from time to time, but have remained quietly in the shadows.  I turned into one of those lurkers, I suppose. 

So much has happened the past few years since I was writing and posting consistently.  Where do I even begin?  As some of you have seen, my blog was not available for a while.  I finally finished my book and self-published it.  It was a compilation of my posts and organized by content type.  The place where it was published (the giant bookseller we all know) required me to not have my blog active in order to be able to reach the most people.  I wasn't writing anyway, so I gave it a try.  Didn't gain me much activity so I have re-activated my blog.  The book is still available if you'd like a copy and don't want to scroll through my entire blog. 

On a personal front, I wrote long ago and provided some insight on my marital situation and how it had all but fallen apart.  We basically had an open marriage and stayed together for our daughter.  That finally reached the tipping point and I got divorced.  It has been a struggle at times.  As much as we were on the same page and both knew it was for the best, there have been times it hasn't gone as smooth as either of us would have liked.  I guess no divorce ever has, and every divorce can be contentious at times.  I can say we have remained friends and get along a majority of the time.  We do our best to co-parent our daughter, who has had her own struggles with it all.  Luckily we are friends and can hang out and get along so it could be much worse.

On a better note, several years ago my slave, who had been long distance relationship for over three years, decided to move so we could be together.  She basically packed up and moved across the country, with her teenage daughter in tow.  They both needed a fresh start in a new place.  I think it was a culture shock for a while, but they have since settled in nicely to the deep south southern life.  The move has been good for them both and they will both tell you they are acclimated southerners now.

In June of this year we tied the knot and married.  We both finally had what we had always wanted... to be married and able to live as legally joined Master and slave.  Both living under the same roof for the first time the way we had talked about and dreamed for a long time.  We were both used to the way things were, so being together 24/7 has had it's challenges.  It has been an adjustment for us both, but all for the good.  If I could just get her to behave like the slave she is then t would be great.  Although, she will say it's my job to make her behave.  That's part of the challenge we are adjusting to in living this on a daily basis. 

There have also been some health scares for her during 2019.  Health issues that ended up requiring surgery.  And then an additional follow-up surgery.  And then an emergency surgery less than 24 hours after the second due to a complication that arose.  I won't go into all the details in this post, as that is a post all to it's own, but life threatening situations will certainly make you re-think what is important. 

So where does that leave us going forward?  HDs (HisDevotedslave) will tell you that she has been trying to get me writing again for quite a while.  My problem is that I can't write just to write.  I have to feel it and want to write.  Yet, I think it's probably about time to get this going again.  My Dauntless Journey has now become "Our" Dauntless Journey, and sharing our journey together is the direction I see this moving.

Any of you that have followed my blog know that all my writing has been based on situations dealing with Dominants and submissives.  I have rarely, if ever written about my own relationships and daily happenings.  I have always kept things less personal, yet giving insight into the various mental and emotional aspects of this lifestyle.  That is about to change, I believe.  I think it's time to provide more of a view into our lives and what we face and encounter, both good and bad.  Some of it in relation to our Master/slave dynamic, and some more vanilla pertaining to our trying to navigate this on day in and day out basis.  After some thought, I will likely add HDs as a co-author for this blog and have her provide some posts and thoughts as well.  I think it will be good to provide thoughts and views form both sides of the aisle. 

I hope some of you are still out there and following.  I do realize that due to my prolonged absence many of you have probably gone away.  That is ok, and I wouldn't have waited around for me either.  For those of you still hanging around, the new chapter of the Journey has begun, and I look forward to sharing it with you.

~DV~

My New Book...

Hello everyone!  Well the two of you that probably still following me.  Yes. it's been a while, but I am alive and well. 

In my absence I was not completely dormant and doing nothing.  I have been compiling my blog into a book.  The book, A Dauntless Journey, is now complete and is available on Amazon.  It is a collection of my blog posts from here on Blogger.  The book has been organized into content type to put similar subject matter together by section.  Who knew one day I would become a real author?!?!  Well, kind of anyway.

I invite you to stop by Amazon and pick up a copy.  Get a second copy and send to a friend while you are there.  If you need it, there is a free Kindle Reader App you can download for your phone, tablet, or computer to allow you to read the book.  Most devices already have it installed. 

My book can be found here... A Dauntless Journey

Thanks to everyone that has supported me and provided insight and encouragement over the years that provided me the ability to write all I have.

~DV~