As mentioned in an earlier post, the past year has been full of changes. Most notably has been our marriage. As I tend to remind Hds (His devoated slave), she is now legally bound to me as my slave. In reality, the small ceremony in the family backyard had no mention of this, and there is no legal paperwork stating this, but in our minds and as far as we are concerned she is now legally mine. That is how we think, view it, and conduct our relationship. It is the basis of what we have, and has been from the first time we spoke.
We have always talked about wanting and needing a 24/7 relationship. It is what we have both been striving to attain. Yet, this has turned out to also be one of the biggest struggles to actually implement and put into practice. You see... when we were not married and living separately it was easy to get into the Master/slave mindset when we had time together. Not being together all the time, in looking back at it now, sort of made it easier to implement when we were together. It has always been a part of who we are and has always been there between us. It has always been a part of our conversations and the foundation of our relationship, whether together or not. Yet, when you aren't together all the time you have that downtime to yourself and then can actively engage in it when you are together.
We have always enjoyed being able to joke around, cut up with each other, and just enjoy time together. We have also always enjoyed our Master/slave dynamic. Now that we are married and together full time it's more about finding the balance between the two that has been a challenge. It's not realistic to be, for a lack of a better way to put it, in full on "Master Mode" constantly. Don't get me wrong, the dynamic is always there. We both want, need, and naturally are in our respective roles. The challenge is more in finding the balance in our dynamic in every day life versus being able to move more into "Master Mode", and the back and forth. I'm not sure that makes much sense as I try to explain it, but it doesn't roll out of my head clearly explainable.
Another part of the challenge is there are always others present in the house now. One college age teenager living at home, another pre-teen that is a part timer in the house, and recently a 91 year old grandmother that we moved in to take care of instead of in a nursing home. Least to stay, breaking out the belt for a beating (I say beating lovingly, of course) and the loud whacks as it snaps across her ass, or having my way with Hds and making her scream and orgasm uncontrollably isn't exactly something as easily accomplished as before. We did once take advantage of being alone only to have two of the older kids come home and through the door before we realized it and they got to hear their mom making noises that sounded like an exorcism was in progress. That was awkward, as yo can imagine, but another post all to it's own.
Even with all the challenges and adjustments we both still wouldn't change it for anything. We are right where we have aimed to be and have what we intended. Making it all work hasn't been the easiest or roads to travel, but then again the journey is half the fun. There is a still a lot of trial and error in an effort to find what works, what doesn't how best to go about certain circumstances, etc... but we will eventually settle into it. Of course, then something at home will change and we will have to adjust again, but that's life and we will face it when it is upon us.
~DV~
We have always talked about wanting and needing a 24/7 relationship. It is what we have both been striving to attain. Yet, this has turned out to also be one of the biggest struggles to actually implement and put into practice. You see... when we were not married and living separately it was easy to get into the Master/slave mindset when we had time together. Not being together all the time, in looking back at it now, sort of made it easier to implement when we were together. It has always been a part of who we are and has always been there between us. It has always been a part of our conversations and the foundation of our relationship, whether together or not. Yet, when you aren't together all the time you have that downtime to yourself and then can actively engage in it when you are together.
We have always enjoyed being able to joke around, cut up with each other, and just enjoy time together. We have also always enjoyed our Master/slave dynamic. Now that we are married and together full time it's more about finding the balance between the two that has been a challenge. It's not realistic to be, for a lack of a better way to put it, in full on "Master Mode" constantly. Don't get me wrong, the dynamic is always there. We both want, need, and naturally are in our respective roles. The challenge is more in finding the balance in our dynamic in every day life versus being able to move more into "Master Mode", and the back and forth. I'm not sure that makes much sense as I try to explain it, but it doesn't roll out of my head clearly explainable.
Another part of the challenge is there are always others present in the house now. One college age teenager living at home, another pre-teen that is a part timer in the house, and recently a 91 year old grandmother that we moved in to take care of instead of in a nursing home. Least to stay, breaking out the belt for a beating (I say beating lovingly, of course) and the loud whacks as it snaps across her ass, or having my way with Hds and making her scream and orgasm uncontrollably isn't exactly something as easily accomplished as before. We did once take advantage of being alone only to have two of the older kids come home and through the door before we realized it and they got to hear their mom making noises that sounded like an exorcism was in progress. That was awkward, as yo can imagine, but another post all to it's own.
Even with all the challenges and adjustments we both still wouldn't change it for anything. We are right where we have aimed to be and have what we intended. Making it all work hasn't been the easiest or roads to travel, but then again the journey is half the fun. There is a still a lot of trial and error in an effort to find what works, what doesn't how best to go about certain circumstances, etc... but we will eventually settle into it. Of course, then something at home will change and we will have to adjust again, but that's life and we will face it when it is upon us.
~DV~
4 comments:
DV Sir,
Yes it is difficult and challenging at times. We were usually fortunate that we had spaces that were far removed from the "others" in the house, some we swear just never sleep!
Or you just come up with different and often more creative ideas or ways to control. It all works out in the end and makes the journey that much more enjoyable.
Hugs,
mouse
I think many people don't realize that difference between part time and full time (married) until it happens to them! It's important not to compare the two when trying to find your balance because they really are two very different beasts!
Best of luck!! :)
@mouse...
Indeed we are having to get more creative. We try our best to take advantage of the time we do have. Sometimes we tell the kids, just to watch them squirm, that they are going need their earbuds tonight because things are going to get loud in the bedroom. LOL!
@nijntje...
Thanks and it is definitely two totally different beasts. It's a learning process for sure, but all worth the time and effort.
DV
Although my wife was always dominant at some level, we gradually moved into a D/s relationship when we had an empty nest. It was something I wanted and my wife was open to the idea. It must be so hard to begin such a relationship, and with others present in the home. Over the years when we weren’t alone we often took our relationship out of the home environment. For example, my wife would put me under pretty close verbal scrutiny to remind me she was the boss right in the car while it parked somewhere. We have a small second home we used for D/s activities. In that home there was a queening chair, now moved into our main house. Punishment usually happened there. Certain things, like orgasm denial, can be practiced anywhere. But it’s tough to maintain the relationship a couple wants without privacy.
Greg
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