Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Last week's winner is posted to the right. 

I apologize, but due to job changes, being swamped and not knowing which day it even is, I do not have time to set-up FAF this week.  Please accept my apologies.!  I will give you a couple of pics, since you took the time and stopped by, for your viewing enjoyment.  I hope to be back on track by next week!

Take care everyone!

Finding More Balance

The first post in the series was titled Finding Our Balance.  In that post we took a look at how a power exchange relationship can affect your outlook and your overall view of life.  That having this type relationship in your life can help keep you balanced, centered, and an overall happier person in general.  The comments received seemed to back up this position, as they were all positive and exhibited how TTWD has had a positive affect on people's lives. 

To those that aren't too familiar with this lifestyle, it may seem that this would lead me, or anyone else for that matter, to say that everyone needs a D/s relationship because it makes you more balanced.  My answer...Not even close!  For some, this just isn't for them.  It doesn't fit or meet their needs.  They could care less or think this is wrong, and that is their right to believe and feel that way.  This post is for those that are in the lifestyle, learning it, teetering on the fence,  or those still trying to find themselves. 

After reading the comments of the last post, one theme stood out to me to be at the forefront of the whole dynamic for everyone that commented...Acceptance!  there is a very common theme about being involved in this and finally feeling accepted and able to completely be yourself.  The word "liberating" was even mentioned a few times.  It has been discovered by people that there is nothing wrong with you.  It is alright to want the things you do, and even more so that those things can be expected of you.  It can be very relaxing and freeing to find that you can embrace all that you are and need to be, and without the worry of what is thought of you or that you are doing something that is looked down upon. 

This leads me to my next question.  Is it really TTWD that enables us to feel balanced and centered, or is it the acceptance by our partner of who we are and all we want and need?  Does this lifestyle bring about calm and stability within our lives, or is it finding a partner that embraces this side of us and what we feel we really need as a part of our lives?  I personally think it is both.  I think we all want and need this lifestyle or we wouldn't be here.  It is a part of us and who we need to be.  Yet, the connection you have with your partner, and their acceptance of who you are and what you need, or even their expectation of who they want you to be, can be very liberating.  You no longer have to hide this side of yourself and deny your needs and desires.  Having a partner that needs this as well can open up a whole new side of you, once you finally feel free to let go and be who you naturally are. 

What do you think?

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to this week's edition of FAF.  I hope you have all had a great week!  I mentioned last week that Blossom had submitted a picture for FAF, and guess what?  Her submission is the picture that won, and is posted to the right.  Apparently you all think she has good taste. 

On a side note, many of you spoke up last week requesting another installment of men's posteriors.  Your request has not gone unheard, and I am working on that for you ladies.  Geesh...to be submissive you ladies sure are bossy!  LOL! 

This week's pictures include one that was submitted by Sky.  A big thanks to her for sending in some pictures for consideration.  As always, feel free to submit your pictures if you think they are worthy and would like to have them posted during one of the weekly editions of FAF.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Finding Our Balance

There are some terms that float around this lifestyle that seem to be at the core of the benefits of this thing we do.  The terms I am referring to are being "balanced" and "centered".  I have read others and had conversations over the years where people felt out of sorts and out of place until they found their Dominant or submissive side.  But once they did, they seemed to have found their calling.  They found what they had always been missing.

Having found it and having it a part of their lives seems to have helped them stay more balanced and centered as a whole, and in every aspect of their life.  It cuts to the core of their being and is a foundation for them to plant their feet upon.  A good analogy would be that they have always had shallow roots in the ground.  They never felt securely anchored.  But now...now it's like miracle grow was put on them, and their roots have grown deeper, thereby making them much more secure and stable, and they have been able to blossom like never before.

Here is an excerpt from the writing of an anonymous submissive, and I think it states my point very well.

 

I am oddly amazed at how much I can miss You.  My interactions with You make me feel balanced and centered and keep me feeling much more like the person that I feel like I am.  I look back at how I was feeling before thanksgiving and You have made such an enormous difference.  Even bad days are more tolerable.  I’m not as frazzled.  I can focus better.  I feel so much more in control of my life.

And just like that, I have this overwhelming need for You, to feel You near me, to have You handle me.  I am totally flattered that You enjoy the thought of me being closer to You.  I know that we should not derive our own self worth from what other people think of us but I feel so much better about me since You have been here. 

The chaos has not gotten any better but it is so calming to think about submitting and serving You.  Thinking about submitting to You seems to quiet me, quiet all the external noise, quiet all the thinking about what DESPERATELY needs to be done.  And for someone who has always had all this external noise in their brain, that’s a pretty cool phenomena.

This type of feeling seems to be a staple in this lifestyle for those that find their way to this.  Sometimes we need reminded as to just how great this is for us.  After a point, it becomes normal and we can begin to take it for granted.  We can't really appreciate it unless we look at what it would be like without it as part of our lives.

I'm curious as to how all of you, my readers and followers, feel about this.  How has this lifestyle affected your life?  Has it made you more balanced and centered?  Has it helped you be a better person because you have been able to be yourself and not have to hide who you are any longer?  Does it bring a sense of calm to you and enable to you to be more grounded?  Please share your thoughts and feelings on this and how it has affected you, positively or negatively.

DV

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's to wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!  I hope you all have a great day, and try not to eat all the chocolate candy you receive in one sitting.  You'll regret it later, even though it may seem like a great idea now.  LOL! 

Since this is the home of "Fantastic Ass Friday", what better way to celebrate this day than with a heart shaped Valentine salute to a nice posterior picture.  Have a great day everyone! 

 

Friday Humor

I came across this picture and couldn't help but share it with you all.  Many of you, like myself, have young or small children.  We have seen way too many cartoons, and without even looking can probably recite every line of the ones that have been watched over and over.  One of those for me is...Dora The Explorer.  I wish I had a back-pack that contained anything and everything I might ever need, like Dora does.  LOL! 

For those of you that can relate, I hope you enjoy this!  I got a good laugh out of it!  It just goes to show...even at a very young age, a man has to have his priorities!  Hmmm...or, I guess this could go back to my last post on "suffering" by making her wait, and teaching her a lesson in patience.  :)

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

I hope you all have had a great week.  Thanks to every one that voted this week.  We had a good turn-out, and one picture seemed to capture your attention more than the rest.  The winner from last week is on your right. 

This week's pictures contain a couple of follower/viewer submissions.  One is by an Anon, and the other by the wonderful Blossom.  Thanks to you both for your picture submissions.  Any of you can feel free to email me pictures you think may be FAF worthy, to be used in future installments of FAF. 

Have a great weekend everyone, and I hope you enjoy this week's Fantastic Ass Pictures. 

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Suffering For Greater Good

The definition of suffering is... an experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm in an individual, and may be qualified either physically or mentally.  Suffering can be seen in many ways as pain.  In TTWD, there is a lot of what we do that revolves around pain and suffering.  This can be anywhere from very mild to very severe, depending on the type and way it is inflicted. It can be anything from orgasm withdrawal and mind games, to spanking, caning, flogging, and whatever else that may fall into the realm of physically inflicted pain. 

Discerning Dom wrote a post recently where he looked at whether all Dominants are Sadists.  A sadist being someone who derives pleasure from the infliction of pain.  Conversely, a masochist is someone who derives pleasure from receiving pain.  I don't by any means think that all Doms are sadists, and don't believe that all subs are masochists.  Yet, I do think that some sort of suffering is inherent in any and all D/s or power exchange relationships.  

Due to the nature of these type relationships, I think that suffering on some level is crucial to the relationship.  It tests the resolve and commitment of the relationship.  It can test a submissives desire and need to submit to her Dominant.  It can test her willingness to submit to her Doms desires and wishes.  From the Dominant side, it can test his willingness to push his submissive further.   It can test his desire to show his strength, power and control.  

Does this mean that either person is either a sadist or a masochist?  No, not at all.  Neither of them my receive direct pleasure from whatever activity is instituted.  Yet, they may both receive pleasure from the outcome of what the activity accomplished.  There may be quite a bit of pleasure, for one or both, by seeing the results of what they have done together.  As a Dominant, I may not get pleasure from making or seeing my submissive suffer, but I will get pleasure from know she laid herself out there for me, and suffered for me, to become a better person for it.  It can bring the two of you closer and strengthen the bond the two of you have.  The suffering, however mild or severe, can lead to a greater good.  

I think that suffering for the greater good can be a wonderful thing.  A person can learn and grow from positive reinforcement and behavior, but can also learn from negative behavior, suffering, and pain.  The key is knowing what type of suffering to inflict, doing it with a specific purpose, and doing it with love and intention, as well as a goal.  For me personally, I don't get pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering just for the sake of doing it.  There needs to be a purpose and a goal behind it.  I don't want to make and see her suffer for no reason.  I want to see the growth and benefits that come from having inflicted whatever I have done.  

I will leave you with this quote that I think describes very well exactly what I am trying to say...that there is a goal behind the infliction of the chosen suffering, and that hopefully it leads to the betterment of you both and to a greater good.  

Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape. --Charles Dickens

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Thanks to everyone that participated and voted last week.  We had a great turn out on FAF, as well as for the tie breaker.  It was a tough race for the winner, but one picture did finally prevail.  It is posted to the right. I do enjoy having a very close vote and making it difficult for you all to choose.  One picture running away with it is no fun. 

It's Super Bowl Weekend around here.  Personally, I'm looking forward to it.  And, I enjoy the commercials as much or more than the game.  I hope you all have a great weekend!

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FAF Weekly Winner Tie Breaker

Thanks to everyone that voted for FAF this week.  We had more votes than usual, and that is...well, fantastic.  Three of the pictures tied for the most number of votes.  We will have a tie breaker vote beginning today and ending Thursday evening.  If it is still a tie at that point then I guess DV himself will have to declare the winner by picking his favorite. 

Thanks and please vote only once for your favorite. 

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