Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF) Mid-Year Playoffs (Rd 1)

It's that time of year again...it's time for the Mid-Year Playoffs.  This is when we put all the past winners, up to this point in 2012, up against each other to decide which one is your favorite.  You all decided the winners each week, so now it's time to put those winners to the test and see which one holds up.  Here are the rules for this playoff:

- There are 18 winners so far for 2012.
- Nine will be posted this week (Rd 1) and nine next week (Rd 2).
- The top three from each week will move on to the finals.
- In the case of a tie in the first two weeks, I will decide my favorite and which ass moves on.
- In the case of a tie in the finals, we will have a runoff vote. 
- In the first two weeks, you will be allowed to cast three votes for your three favorites to move on.
- In the finals, you will only be allowed to cast one vote.

We will do this again at the end of the year (Year End Playoffs) to decide the winner of the second half of the year.  That winner and the winner of the Mid-Year and Year End Playoffs will then be put against each other to decide the Overall Favorite Ass of 2012.

Any questions?  Good!  Then on with Round 1 voting for the Mid-Year Playoffs!  May your favorite ass advance to the finals!

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Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Thank God It's Friday...not because it's the end of the week, but because you all are so looking forward to a fresh set of fantastic asses to view on cast your vote?  Right?!?!  No?  Ok maybe a little of both.  I am looking forward to the weekend myself.  Been a very hectic week, and I need some relief. 

Last week's winner is posted to the right.  It really wasn't even a close vote last week.  Kind of surprised me.  Oh well!  Just when I think I have given you tough choices, there is a runaway.  I'll try to do better this week.  I don't usually do this, as my pics are typically all or mostly B&W pics, but this week's pictures are all color.  Thanks once again to Ms Blossom at Beautiful Submission for submitting some pics to be used in FAF.  You all need to thank her...she has awesome taste in what she finds and sends to me. 

Have a great weekend everyone! 

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Thursday Humor

I came across this video on Tumblr.  Its titled "Shit Swingers Say".  This is pretty funny!  So, of course I thought I would share it with you all.  Enjoy! 

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to another week of Fantastic Ass Friday!  The summer heat is upon us and it's that time of year for barbequing, boating, swimming, short shorts, short skirts, bikinis, long tan legs, big...ooops sorry i got a little side tracked for a moment.  Anyway, I hope you are enjoying the summer so far and you are able to get outdoors and take in some great activities.

We had a great turnout last week on the voting.  One of the best ever, so thanks to everyone who voted for their favorite.  Last week's winner is posted to the right.  I was honestly a little surprised at the winner, as it wasn't the most D/s related option, and thought that would pull a lot of weight with my readers and followers.  Shows what I know!  A very nice picture won, though, so no complaints from me.

This week I'm sticking with a D/s pics and going with a bound wrist theme.  I hope you enjoy!  Have a great weekend everyone! 

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"Being Broken"...The Dominants Role

In my last post I talked about the subject of "breaking" a sub.  I got some great comments and had some good discussions as to how we all view this subject.  Sometimes a submissive feels the need herself to be broken, and sometimes her Dominant feels it is necessary.  Whatever the case, this is not about breaking her down completely, making her lose her identity, breaking her spirit, and trying to create something of your own choosing out of the shell of a person that remains.  This is about breaking down a specific wall or barrier for a specific purpose, and to help her be a better person, be the person she is deep inside, and the person she desires to be. 

I mentioned in my last post about all the recent posts in blogland that have been written lately in regards to this.  One thing I haven't seen much about is the role of the Dominant.  Let me make this very clear (my disclaimer)...this is not something for the beginner Dominant.  I feel it takes a very special  and knowledgeable hand to be able to do this correctly.  It is not something you just do and say I'm going to push until I break you. 

Being able to take a submissive to the edge and just over it requires a very intimate knowledge of the submissive.  You need to know her inside and out...physically, emotionally, and mentally.  You need to know what she can take and what she can't.  There is a very fine line between pushing her just over the edge to accomplish the intended goal, versus pushing her way past the edge and falling off the cliff.  You need to be able to read her actions and reactions and know when you are close and when you have reached the point you were out to find. 

This only comes with time and experience together.  Without this knowledge of her, you are just shooting aimlessly into the dark.  Maybe you'll hit your mark, and maybe you won't.  This isn't something where you are just guessing and hoping.  There is very little room for error here.  This requires a huge amount of trust and respect for the Dominant by the submissive.  She is putting herself in your hands, and trusting you know how to reach the intended goal without destroying her.  Not being able to read and understand her, you could very easily do her more harm than good. 

This should go without saying, but I will definitely make sure to cover it...AFTERCARE!!!  If aftercare was ever needed, this is the time for it.  you have taken to her to the edge and beyond, and brought about extreme emotions within her.  You certainly can't just leave her that way.  She needs to be held and supported and made to feel loved.  She needs to know you are there for her.  She needs to feel and see your care and know that you are there to prop her up now that you have taken her to what could have been one of her lowest points ever. 

This aftercare doesn't just mean fifteen minutes after the actions occurred.  From the mental and emotional side, it could mean seeing after her and keeping a check on her for days.  you don't just bring about extreme emotions, and ones that may have been hidden deep inside her for years or a lifetime, and expect she will be fine and over within a day or so.  You need to be there for her, to encourage her and talk to her openly about this as needed.  Anything less, in my opinion, in nothing but mental and emotional abuse.  You can't take her to a place like this and then just leave her to her own devices to work it out.  You got her here, you damn well better help her deal with it afterwards.

As a Dominant, this may not be something that is fun for you.  It may not play into your idea of being pleased and enjoyment.  But that's not what this is always about.  Being dominant isn't always fun and games.  It's about helping her reach her goals and become a better person.  It's about giving her what she needs, and maybe even requests.  This isn't just about fun, but about being a leader and a man, and being the best one you can be for your submissive.  It's about becoming a better Dominant yourself through the process. 

Through situations like this, she will need you more than ever.  Don't do her the disservice of not being there for her completely.  That defeats the whole purpose of the entire relationship.  Be the Dominant you say you are and need to be for her.  In the end, she will trust and respect you more than ever.  She will belong to you more than she has before.  She will be a better submissive for you, and a better woman.  And that is the entire purpose of taking her to the "breaking" point to begin with.  

Some Words On "Being Broken"...

There seems to have been a few posts lately in regards to a submissive being "broken" by her Dominant.  There have even been some tense moments where comments were left and discussions got a bit heated.  The fact of the matter is...we all have different views on what "being broken" is or means.  And this is one of those areas that is tends to mean something completely different from one person to next. 

I think it is important to understand the context of what being broken means when it is discussed.  I think it also has a stereotype attached to it, much like this lifestyle.  That's the irony of this...most of us know that the lifestyle we choose to live isn't anything like the public image and how it's perceived, and I think being broken is much the same.  It has a negative connotation that many people can't see past. 

This image, at least to me, is of a woman being completely stripped physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Down to a completely raw person that resembles nothing of their prior self.  This being done only to build and re-shape her the way someone else wants.  This type of treatment I do not condone or agree with.  For me this is not about completely breaking her down to make her what I want her to be.  I want my sub to be who she is and all of who she is, with my help of course.  I'm not here to change her.  I'm here to help bring out of her the parts she has inside that she may not be aware of or be comfortable expressing. 

Sometimes to grow and progress we have to break through or break down walls.  In order to do this you have to push boundaries and limits.  You have to take a sub to the edge of this wall and then push some more.  You have to break her mentally or emotionally, but only in regards to this wall.  And once through the wall you must stop.  you don't keep going.  Many times this is the hurdle she needed help getting over.  Once done, the path becomes much more clear for future growth and even bring you closer together as a couple. 

And example of this is a conversation I had with a submissive once.  She was very into her relationship, trusted her Dom with all she had, and would have done anything for him.  She had found a love of spanking that she never knew she had.  One of her issues was opening up letting go emotionally.  She said that she rarely cried, especially from physical pain, and can remember this even as far back a a child.  She would bite her lip until it bled in an effort to take the pain and not let the tears flow from her eyes.  So, this is what she now wanted.  She wanted her Dom to take her, spank her, and help her break through this wall.  She wanted to be made to reach a point where letting go of it all was the only choice.  She wanted to be broken to the point of letting years of tears flow from her eyes.

This was the one place, and with the one person she trusted the most, that she felt she could be taken to a point of completely letting go and finding a way through this emotional barrier.  She wanted this wall broken down.  She was asking to be broken...at least in this specific way.  This is the one way she could finally find the freedom and peace from her own emotional prison.  It isn't something she could do on her own.  She needs help and needs to be pushed to that point.  Her "breaking" isn't about breaking her down completely in order to rebuild her.  It's about breaking her in a specific way that she feels, and he feels as well, that is beneficial and will make her a better person moving forward.

So I will leave you with this...try not to let preconceived ideas and views cloud your judgement when you hear about "being broken", or anything else for that matter.   Most of us here are very open minded and can look at the many sides of a situation before forming an opinion.  Especially when it comes to "breaking" someone, make sure you understand the context under which the person is using the term, and how they mean it to apply to them.  Just as all BDSM and D/s isn't about tying someone up and beating the hell out of them, "being broken" isn't always about stripping someone of everything they are.  Most of the time its just about pushing a specific boundary or limit, and with a specific purpose.  If you look at it from a different angle, many times you can get a much better understanding of what a person intends and what it means to them.  The meaning can be different for everyone. 

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Thanks to everyone that participated and voted last week.  I'm got some good feedback in regards to the couples theme.  Thanks to everyone that sent me a note.   I also received a wonderful comment from Donna on last week's FAF.  She pointed out how her and her husband each vote separately and then discuss their individual choices and why they like or chose that picture.  I think it's wonderful that a couple can become closer and communicate openly all because of FAF.    Who would have known FAF was bringing couples together?!?!  ;)

Last week's winner is posted to the right.  I have some more good pics, or so I think, for you this week.  This week has a submissive tone to it.  It's all about "face down and ass up".  I hope you enjoy the pics.  Have a great weekend everyone!

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A New Understanding...Self-Discovery

I have always been a proponent that certain things cannot be forced.  That has always been my approach to D/s.  As much as I can make demands, set rules, define the relationship, there are some things I just won't do or force.  To me, there is much more to be gained with some things when they are discovered on their own by the submissive.

 It is a sort of self-discovery.  Not as in finding oneself, but in realizing certain things and having that "Ah Ha Light bulb Moment".  The one where something just all of sudden makes sense and was realized on her own.  Mostly this revolves around feelings and emotions.  Around her thinking and views about a particular subject.  For whatever reason, in that moment, it just clicks and has there is now a completely new understanding.

As a Dom, I can tell her how things are going to be.  I can tell her how she should view something and how it will be viewed within our relationship.  She may accept that and go with it, but at that time it will just be there.  It's like another rule.  It's just something that is expected of her.

For me, and a big part of my enjoyment in being a Dominant, is leading and guiding her down the path of her submission, and helping her discover these things on her own.  We may have in depth discussions about specific situations, and may act out certain scenarios, and I may keep heading her in the direction of my choosing.  But I want her to figure these things out on her own.  I want her to not only figure them out, but to truly feel them when she does begin to understand it.  That is when it has a much deeper meaning to both her and me.  She wasn't forced, but got to that point on her own.  And because of this, it will have much more lasting effects and be more likely to be a pat of her from then on.

An example of what I'm talking about is having marks left on her body.  This could be from something such as spanking.  I may want her to have marks (not permanent or harmful ones) from the spanking she received, or maybe some bruising.  I want her to be able to see them and have a reminder of how they got there and who put them there.  Yet, for me to tell her she will wear them and enjoy them may not accomplish my goal.  It's when she tells me that afterwards she was looking for marks and was disappointed when she couldn't find any that it begins to sink in.  It's part of her belonging to me and feeling that within herself.  It's her wishing she could see and feel the reminder of what I did to her, and needing that.  This is a light bulb moment for her, especially when she has never felt the need for that before.

Another example could be cuffs or being bound.  I can tell her I will bind her or or cuff her hands behind her back (which is something I would do), and the things I might do to her.  But when she brings you the cuffs, or asks you to use them, this has a different meaning behind it.  Now it's not just about me cuffing her, but her feeling her need to be cuffed, what it represents for her, and her need to be bound and turn over control.  This has much more meaning to it than me just doing it and her accepting it.

I can ask, demand, and do a lot of things on my own.  But for a submissive to get to some of these places herself, and come to her own understandings and realizations of what she needs, well, that can be a beautiful thing.  It can be something small, or something much bigger.  What it is doesn't really matter.  The pleasure for me as a Dominant is that I was able to lead her to discovering these things within her self and on her own.  I was able to lay the ground work and set out the pieces so she could put them all together for herself.  For me, that is being able to teach her in a way that will last because she actually feels it and it is now a part of her she found deep within.  It isn't something she does just because I'm in control and I said it was going to be a certain way.  That is being a teacher, and teaching lessons that won't soon be forgotten...at least from my point of view.

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to the end of May and the first of June.  The warmer summer season, at least here in the States, is here in full swing.  I hope you all have had a great holiday shortened week.  Last week's winner is posted to the right.  I can't say that I blame any of you that voted for this picture/ass.  Very nice indeed!

I decided to go with a special theme for you this week...couples.  I haven't done couples in a while and have gathered a few, so when it was requested, I thought...why not?!?!  So couples it is!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

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