An Evolving Mindset (Part 2)

In my last post I talked about how we change over time.  How our wants and needs change.  How we evolve in what we like and feel we have to have to be happy and satisfied.  How settling for anything less than that will never be enough.  This is apparent within me as much as anyone.  Several years ago, before I discovered the Dominant side of myself and let it blossom, I would have been content with a traditional sex life.  A sex life that the mainstream population would consider normal.  These days...normal has a whole new meaning.  It has taken on an entirely different perspective.

This lifestyle, D/s, is a natural part of who I am and how I view things these days.  It is "normal" for me.  I no longer consider myself new to TTWD.  Although, I'll be the first to tell you that there is so much more out there to be learned and discovered.  I mentioned in my last post how I think it is beautiful to see the changes evolve within someone in this lifestyle.  That is one reason I like to write and post on here.  I like to be able to share my thoughts and experiences with others.  I love to receive comments and emails from readers saying how they had that light bulb moment when reading my post.  Or, that they felt I was inside their head seeing everything they think and feel.  That is a great feeling.  I have been there myself, and am glad I can share and help others see these things as well.  Anyway...I digress.

I was having a conversation the other day with my wife.  As many of you may know, she is in no way a part of this lifestyle, nor will she ever be.  It isn't a part of who she is.  She is fully aware of who I am at this point, what I like and need, what I do, and who I do it with.  She does her own thing as well, which I am fully aware of.  This is an agreement we came to a while back.  Anyway...the conversation made me think about how much I have evolved and changed.  During the conversation, a question was brought up..."could we ever get back to being the couple we once were and be sexual again (which we haven't been in years)?"  We both agreed that it couldn't and wouldn't ever happen.  We are too different in what we want and need in that arena. 

This begs the natural question...So what do I want?  A few years ago I would have said sex.  LOL!  The answer to this today is much different than it would have been a few years ago.  Spankings?  Check!  Control?  Check!  Hair pulling?  Check!  To have my cock worshiped?  Check!  To control orgasms?  Check!  To fuck how I want and when I want?  Check!  To have my cum worn with pride?  Check!  To use restraints?  Check!  Anal sex?  Check!  To feel my Sunshine totally and completely belongs to me, and does so gladly and willingly?  Check!  This is just to name a few, but is far different than...well, sex.  Yes, many of these things are sex related, but so much of it has to do with the mental and emotional aspect of the act and relationship, and from where the intention of the act derives.

The best part of it all is being with someone you know wants and needs all of this from you....and maybe even much more.  It's great to not only be able to push Sunshine to new territory, but to have her push me as well.  I don't mean that I am being pushed by her in a bad or disrespectful way.  I mean that she can push me to do more, become better, and find more of myself for her.  Ask me a couple of years from now and I will probably be able to say I have changed much more since I wrote this.  That is my goal and what I hope for anyway.  I don't want to stay stagnant.  I want to keeping evolving, be more than I am now, and be a better man for having changed.  Lucky for me I have a little Sunshine to light the way. 

An Evolving Mindset (Part 1)

It always amazes me!  People change and and situations change.  Mindsets change.  Mmmmm...yes, mindsets change.  It's amazing how mindsets change in TTWD.  It's amazing how our perception can change.  It's amazing how what once seemed kinky, now seems normal.  What once seemed to be an activity that was way out in left field is now the sandbox you constantly play in.  It amazes me how that happens.  But...it does and I like it.  No...I love it!

I never get tired of seeing the change.  For me, it is easy to see it in other people.  Whether that happens to be my Sunshine, or someone else I have talked to or dealt with in the past.  It is a beautiful thing to be able to see and be a part of the change and progression of another person within this lifestyle.  Within myself it can be a little more difficult to see.  Yet, when I stop and look back to where I once was compared to where I am now, I can definitely see how my actions, needs, and mindset have all evolved.

I look back upon my sex life and see the vanilla activities that used to be a part of it.  It contained your normal run of the mill sex and intimacy.  Nothing at all outside of the box or outside of the norm.  Being adventurous may have been sex in the shower or early in the morning...that was it.  Could I ever go back to that?  Could I ever be happy in a relationship like that?  I can answer these questions with one resounding word...NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It would never satisfy me and I would always be wanting and needing more. 

I have said before, and even written a post about it...once you get into this lifestyle you can never go back.  Or at least not completely.  This doesn't just apply to a submissive.  It applies to Dominants as well...this Dom included.  Once you realize this is part of who you are and something you need to be a part of your life, it is very difficult to settle for anything less.  Anything less just isn't enough.  Without it you will always be yearning for more.  You will be missing an important part of what you need.  Of course, your partner makes all the difference in the world, but if the two of you aren't on the same page sexually then you are heading down a bumpy road. 

Life is too short to settle for less than what you want, need, and deserve.  Yet, you can't just sit around hoping things will change, or waiting for what you want to come to you.  You have to be proactive.  You have to be willing to go after what you need.  If you sit around waiting, you may be waiting your whole life...and you have no one to blame but yourself for settling for less.

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

This week I'm sorry to inform you that we will be having a slight interruption in the regularly scheduled FAF.  I have been on vacation all week (still am for that matter), and haven't had time to get FAF together for this week.  We also had a tie between two pictures last week that I didn't have time to sort out.  So...this week we will have voting between the two pictures that tied for the most votes last week. 

I hope you all have had a good week and have a great weekend!

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The Art Of Us

She laid before him...bearing her entire self...leaving nothing unexposed.  She said:

 "You are the artist and I am your canvas...make me your Masterpiece.  Create me.  Mold me.  Shape me from your own hands.  Make me into your own vision."

He studied her and then replied:

"If I am the artist, and you are the canvas, then you are a canvas that already has an invisible portrait on it.  I just happen to be the one that can bring out and add color to what is already there.  Enabling you to see what kind of portrait you already are.  To see what you already have within you, but needs the right attention to bring it out and let it shine. 

So create?  Mold?  I am just the guide and enabler.  You are already created and molded.  You just haven't seen it yet or been able to totally find it within yourself.  I am here to show you the priceless artistry you truly are and can be.  You have offered me the canvas that is you...I will bring to the forefront what the canvas holds within."

Happiness and joy swept across her face.  As tears of emotional bliss ran down her cheek, she said:

"I am your canvas.  I am yours.  Show me who I am.  Let me see who I can be.  Let me be more than I have ever been.  Show me how to be more than I ever knew I was capable of being.  Most importantly...show me how to be all this for you.  I need to be this for you.  My canvas has waited for the one artist that knows how to bring forth all I hold inside.  You are that artist, and I give the canvas that I am to you as yours...completely."

 He knew all of this already.  He had been taking her further and deeper.  The further they went, the more he broke through.  Yet, this was a great milestone.  Even though she knew it in her heart as well, now the words had been uttered from behind her lips.  She had openly admitted what she is to him...what she gives to him...what she needs to be.  His completely!

"You are mine.  I know it and you know it.  Neither of us can be who we are without the other.  An artist is nothing without his canvas.  A canvas can never carry the portrait without the artist.  Apart we are mere objects.  Together we are a living, growing, evolving work of art.  Never hold back.  Never retreat into your blank canvas.  Allow yourself to shine bright as I bring out the work of art that is you.  Never be afraid.  I am here to hold and support you.  I am here to love and nurture you.  I am here to push you past what you see, so that you can be what lies beneath...still yet to be discovered.  Together...we will become a Masterpiece."

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to another hot August day, and another edition of Fantastic Ass Friday.  We had a great turn out on the vote last week.  Much to my surprise, it was pretty much a runaway with the votes.  One picture apparently stood out as the favorite for almost everyone.  You all never cease to amaze me.  But then again...what should I expect but amazement when it come to all you fine followers.  Last week's winner is to the right. 

I will do my best to make this week a more even contest.  Also this week, there are a couple of the pictures that were submitted by followers.  So yes...you the viewers do have input in FAF.  Feel free to submit a picture to me if you find one you like and feel it is worthy of FAF.  I will be more than happy to use it.  You may submit pictures directly yo my email, or use my tumblr blog, which accepts submissions.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

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Something So Special

There is something so special about trusting another person with all that you are.  There is something so special in giving yourself to someone so completely that you trust them to care for you, love you, guide you, and provide for all your needs...mentally, emotionally, and physically.  There is something so special about being able to feel like a priceless treasure to someone, by giving all you are and have to that person.

There is something so special about being trusted by another person with all that they are.  There is something so special about a person giving themself to you completely to love them, care for them, guide them, and provide for all their needs...mind, body, and soul.  There is something so special about making someone feel like a priceless treasure, by them being willing to give you all that they are and have.

There is something so special about the give and take of a D/s relationship. The outward appearance is that of one giving and the other taking.  The reality is that each person is giving the other what they need.  The reality is that each is taking what they need from the other.  The give and take ebbs and flows in perfect harmony based upon the needs and desires of each person within the couple. 

The entirety of a D/s relationship, and what it gives to each person involved, is something so special.

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

I hope everyone has had a great week!  I know you are all ready for the weekend...I sure am.

Last week's winner is posted to the right.  Thanks to all that voted.  I appreciate your continued support for FAF.  A special thanks to those that have sent pics and made submissions to be used in future FAF votes.  For the rest of you...if you come across and picture and think it would be a good choice to be included in FAF, then feel free to email it to me.  I'm always happy to get submissions and post the pictures you like and submit.

Thanks again for all the support and for coming by my blog to see what is being posted next.  I appreciate you all...followers, lurkers, and visitors alike.  Have a great weekend!

This week's pictures:

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Comfort And Stability Versus Change

I received this picture this morning from my Sunshine.  Part of it really made her think about things going on in her life.  It really made me think too, as it holds true for things happening in my life as well.  I think we can all relate to this in one way or another.  We all have regrets about situations where we didn't take a chance, didn't make a decision, or waited too long to make a decision. 

Why is it that we as people tend to delay decisions?  Why do we put off making decisions we know we need to make, and will ultimately make life better for us?  The answer is...comfort and change...or the fear of change.  We get comfortable in our situations.  We need stability.  We don't like change.  Even when we find ourselves in situations that aren't the best or aren't ideal, we will stay in those situations because they feel normal and comfortable.  There is some stability and knowing what to expect in those situations.  We would rather stay in a non-ideal situation than have to deal with change and turn our stability upside down. 

I continue to use "we" as I describe this because I feel overall that people in general are this way, and I am as well.  I like stability and knowing what to expect.  There are changes coming up for me that will be life altering in a huge way.  The changes may be sooner or may be later, but they are coming one way or another.  I know in the end that these changes will be the best for all involved.  I know that ultimately these changes will make me happier and enable me to be more of who I want and need to be as a person.  They will give me a chance to get what I need as a person that I can never get otherwise. 

So why don't I just go ahead and move forward?  Why don't I make these changes now?  The simple answer is comfort and stability in where I am.  I don't have to make these changes now.  If forced or pushed, I could move forward with the changes now.  I have no problem in doing so, but for now I don't have to do anything.  Will I regret not going ahead and making the changes that are coming?  Will I wish I hadn't delayed and had gone ahead and gotten things moving forward?  Possibly!  But, there are a lot of other factors in play, so for now...stability is good.  Yet, I will say this...I am slowly moving forward.  The changes are because of me and my own initiation.  They will happen because of me.  They will happen because I know what I want and need to make me a happier person.  Because I refuse to settle long term for anything less.  These decisions can be heartbreaking and gut-wrenching, but will also be the best for all involved long term....or at least so I believe.

At one time or another we all have to make life altering decisions.  It could be about your relationship, your marriage, or even whether or not to take the steps to finding who you truly are as a Dominant or submissive.  Sometimes it involves letting go of the past to be able to have a brighter future.  We all have to face changes at some point or another.  We all have to step out of our comfort zone, let go of the stability, and try to better ourselves.  Are you willing to make the necessary changes to be able to be happier and find who you truly are?  Are you already doing that?  Can you make those tough decisions?  It's never an easy thing to do.  Yet, sometimes we have to be willing to let go to move forward.  Don't settle for less than you need and deserve.  If you settle, even though you aren't happy, because you are comfortable and stable, then I can promise you one thing for certain...In The End, as you look back, you will regret not standing up for yourself and making the changes needed to be happy and the person you really are inside. 

Friday Humor

Ok!  I think we could all use a little humor.  I know I could and this made me laugh A LOT!!!  Maybe it's just my sick sense of humor.  Anyway...many of you are probably familiar with the E-Trade baby and the related tv commercials.  Here is a video of the baby when things go bad.  Enjoy!

***It seems as though this video has since been removed from youtube.  Something about copyrights and all that legal crap.  Oh we...it was funny for those of you that got to see it before it was taken down.***

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome to another week of FAF.  First of all let me address a question.  For those that have inquired, I have been extremely busy with family and work.  Therefore, I haven't had much time or inspiration to write or post.  I hope to change this very soon, so please bear with me. 

As for FAF, last week's winner is to the right.  Thanks to all that voted.  I hope to make it difficult for you again this week.  Giving you tough choices is what makes this work.  We don't want a runaway on your favorite.  We want a close vote with lots of votes submitted.  Enough with my rambling.  On with the pictures. 

I hope you all have a great weekend, and may the best ass receive your vote! 

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