Does "I Do" Lead To "I Don't"?

This picture...hmmm...this picture.  This reminds me of what we hear so much about in a typical relationship.  A couple is together for a long time, or even a short time, and things become stale after a point.  The mundane begins to set in.  Life begins to set in.  It seems that we always hear about the male half never getting any.  "Any" being sex.  He is interested and he tries, but she always is tired, or has a headache, or something.  The guy is always turned down and never gets satisfied, or has his sexual needs met.  And if he does, it's a hurry up, have sex, and get off of me situation.  Or at least this is what all guys hear in their circle of friends.  All you guys reading this...you know exactly what I mean.  Don't get me wrong, as the male has his faults as well and contributes to this happening.  For now though, I'm just talking about this scenario to lead to my point in the rest of this post. 

Of course, in the previous description I'm referring to a typical vanilla relationship.  I mean, what submissive in her right mind would give her Dominant the finger like that?!?!  Or at least do it and still have it attached to her hand.  LOL!  Ok, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea.  Simply by the nature of the relationship and the dynamic involved, something like this isn't very likely to occur in a D/s relationship.  Part of this is based upon the respect and openness that is inherent within TTWD.  Part of it is based on the wide open sexual nature of a D/s relationship.  (Yes, I am insinuating that D/s couples are much more sexual in their relationships than their vanilla counterparts.)  Part of it is the mental and emotional connection between a Dom and his sub.  In a situation like this, I think D/s couples are way ahead of the game in the sexual arena.  And we all know that the sexual arena is a big part of any relationship, and can be the cause of a lot of strain, and even the ending of marriages and relationships.

What got me to thinking about this is something I heard recently.  A friend of mine is going through a divorce.  In my state, anyone getting a divorce is required to go through parenting classes (a big joke) if you have children under the age of eighteen years old.  At his recent class, the instructor told them the divorce rate for this city, which is the fourth biggest in the state, is at 79% for all couples that get married.  OH MY GOD!!!  Yep, you heard that right...79%.  That is the highest in the nation.  I was astonished!  Of course it's not like I can say a whole lot since I have been through a divorce myself.  But that number...that says that you are almost guaranteed to be divorced at some point if you ever choose to say "I Do".

I don't know if there is any real way to know this, but this begs the question for those of us in this lifestyle.  Is a couple involved in a D/s dynamic more likely to stay together than their vanilla counterparts, based on the dynamic within the relationship?  Maybe...maybe not!  Whether you are vanilla, kinky, into D/s, or whatever, there is still life to deal with.  We all deal with the same pressures and worldly influences...family, jobs, finances, etc...  So, is the respect, openness in communication, openness about sexual activities, and the chemistry and emotional involvement and bonding between a Dominant and a submissive, enough to keep them together?  Is a D/s couple more likely than a vanilla one to succeed long term?  Is there more glue in the relationship of a D/s couple to hold things together?  This is one guy that has no idea.  It is something interesting to think about and consider, though.

I will say one thing.  If I am trying to be intimate, close, and passionate with my partner (which I think is extremely important to a relationship), and she starts giving me the finger...we are going to have some serious problems!!! 

Compass (A Tool For Navigation)

"I am your compass!  I am your guide!  I am showing you the path, leading you in the right direction and to where you need to be.  We may change course, yet still I will lead.  If one of us happens to veer off course then we will stop, chart a new course and a new destination, and I will continue to guide you along the way.  I am your tool of navigation.  There are paths that are rough and paths that are smooth.  I will guide you along the best path possible.  But remember...the best path is not always the easiest, smoothest, shortest, or the most direct.  Yet, it will be the one that will enable us to gain the most.  This is our journey.  One we are taking together.  You light the way, I will guide and lead us both...for I am your compass!"

~DV~

Friday Humor

What did our parents do to us, and what are we doing to our kids.  When it comes to television, kids can't watch this and shouldn't watch that.  But Disney is great!  Isn't it?!?!  We live in a world that seems to be infatuated with everything being so politically correct, yet we make our kids watch all the Disney movies because they are great for kids and teach great lesson in the process.  Well...I'm not so sure about that.  LOL! 

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome back to this week's edition of FAF!  there was a good number of votes on last's week's picks, and it was a close match.  That's the way I like it...when there isn't a runaway with the votes.  That means I have chosen pics well to match against each other.  Last week's winner is posted to the right.

For most of us, this is a holiday weekend!  I hope you all enjoy having an extra day off.  I know I will.  We have a big hot air balloon festival here every Memorial Day Weekend, so I'm sure me the little one will be seeing our share of those.  It should be fun, and she is fascinated by all the big balloons.  Stay safe and have a great weekend!

PS - I'm giving you all a little holiday bonus group picture this week.  It is not included in the voting.  Just a little something extra for you. 

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Bonus

A New And Improved DV...

Ok...maybe not a totally new and improved DV, but at least a new and improved space for DV.  We will get to DV himself in a minute.  As you can see from the moment you clicked and visited my blog (assuming you have been here before), there have been some updates and changes.  It was time for something different.  A new view.  A better view.  I needed a change of scenery and what I feel is a better look to Dauntless Journey. 

The result...new layout, new colors, new design, an updated blog description, a new blog picture (which may change some more until I settle on one), etc...  Not to worry though.  All the content is still the same, and all your favorite posts are still here.  I even added the search feature so you can find your favorite post without having to scroll through months worth of ass pictures.  Yes, I know...but you like all the ass pictures.  Well, then feel free to continue scrolling.  LOL!  I also added the "Most Viewed Posts" feature.  Not sure if I like it or not, but we will see.  I'm sure there will be some tweaking of things in the days and weeks to come, but this will be the main set-up for a while.

What other changes are going on around Dauntless Journey?  Well, let me address one specific situation.  There have been a lot of questions and speculation as to whether DV is still flying solo or if I have found my "one".  Let's see...I promised her I wouldn't mention her on my blog and wouldn't write about her, so therefore I really can't mention her directly.  Did that answer your questions?!?!  LOL! 

In all seriousness, yes DV has found someone he is extremely fond of and seems to fit his needs perfectly.  For purposes of anonymity, and by request, I will not give her a pseudo-name or write about her directly on my blog.  Yet, since some of you seem to be able to read between the lines really well, and have noticed a change in my posts and post topics, I'm sure you will be able to keep up with where things are going.  She has been very good to me, is very good for me, and I'm sure will continue to be even better.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read my posts over the past few months and know how I feel about her.  She is very supportive of me in this lifestyle, as well as both of my blogs.  And yes, she is even lurking on some of your blogs as well. 

So there you have it!  All that is updated, new, and going on with DV and Dauntless Journey.  If you ever need to know more of what is going on in my mind, my likes, my arousals, my kinks, etc... jump on over to Dauntless Arousal on tumblr.  It's all pictures, but as they say...a picture is worth a thousand words.  There are some very nice pictures on there (if I do say so myself) containing both D/s related themes and more sensual ones.  Ok...ok...some of them are just sexy porn, but stop by anyway. 

Take care everyone!

Out Of the Shadows And Into The Light

There comes a time for every submissive when she all of a sudden begins to understand like never before.  She all of a sudden gets it.  It is one of the light bulb moments where everything comes out of the shadows and into the light.  Into a place where it is easily seen and understood.  There is a newly found clarity like there has not been before now. 

As a Dominant there are many things I can tell a submissive.  There is an abundance of feelings and emotions I can explain to her about her submissive nature, and even tell her to expect and not be surprised when those feelings occur.  Yet, there is no way for her to really understand and comprehend until she is there, in that place herself.  These are things she has to actually feel and go through before she can really have a grasp of what I have told her.  I have found this especially true with the submissives I have dealt with and talked to over the years.  I can tell them until I'm blue in the face, but until they feel it for themselves there is no way to truly absorb the full meaning and comprehension of such feelings. 

One of the main things that a submissive can't grasp until she ultimately feels the strength of it for herself is "need".  I think we all move from the want stage into the need stage at some point.  A sub may want to experience certain things and learn about being a good submissive...but after a certain point the need within her begins to build.  The need to submit...the need for her Dominant...the need for his strength and power...the need for him to have control.  For many, feeling needy...well, it feels wrong.  It goes against who they have always been.  They don't think they should feel that way and want to fight it.  To me...I think it is natural and necessary.  I want a submissive to feel and be needy.  If she doesn't need me, need to submit, and need what I have to offer, then what is the point?!?!  There is none!

There is also a very special moment for me that grows within a submissive's need.  It's her specific need for me.  It's her specific need for us.  It's her specific need to give herself to me and feel the strength of my hands upon her body.  This can come about in a couple of different forms.  One of these is the need to have marks left upon her.  This typically will be in the form of bruising and/or soreness.  She needs to know I have had my hands on her body.  She needs the reminder of that after we are done with our time together.  It doesn't matter if it is from a spanking, fingers digging into her breasts, or whatever the choice of activities may be.  She has a deep need to be able to see and feel the evidence of my strength and power upon her flesh after the fact.  She needs to be able to see that she has given herself to me, and feel and see where that has happened and where I have been.  And I know how deep her need is when she happens to say..."I'm not bruised and sore enough.  I need more, please!"  What a sweet sound to a Dominants ear.

Another area of a submissive's need that can develop is with her orgasms.  I can tell her that her body and orgasms belong to me.  I can tell her that her orgasms and being able to cum belong to me.  She will reach a point, that light bulb moment, when she actually begins to feel and understand that.  She will truly begin to comprehend my ownership of her body and experiences.  This is never more evident than with her self-pleasure.  She may reach a point where she doesn't masturbate nearly as much.  She doesn't want to please herself nearly as much.  Why?  Because it's not the same.  It doesn't feel the same.  She needs to be able to cum for me and because of me.  She realizes that her orgasms do belong to me, and they don't feel nearly as strong or important unless they are induced by me directly.  Anything less than directly from my hands or body just isn't enough.  She has come to rely and depend on me for her pleasure, and in a way that only I can make her feel and experience.  This is a huge milestone and one that I absolutely treasure with my entire being.

Need is not a bad thing.  Being needy is not something a submissive should avoid and feel bad about feeling.  It is natural and it is necessary for the progression of the relationship.  Or at least that's my opinion and what I prefer.  A submissive needs to be able to reach a place where she needs to submit and feel the need for her Dominant.  This is also something I think every Dominant needs from his submissive as well.  The mutual need should feed off each other and take you further than you could have gone otherwise.  It's beautiful thing to see her need, and then be able to give her all she has to have and wants to give in return.  Without a growing and flourishing need...we have nothing. 

Fate

I want to consume you…I want to own you…I want to possess you…I want to control you…I want to Dominate you…I want to devour you.

Yet, I won’t demand it…I won’t require it…I won’t force it.

It will be of your own free will…your own desire…your own need…your own craving…your own addiction.

In wishing to have all from you…you will get all of me.  I commit and devote myself…my time…my energy…my need…to being all you need.  I don’t take for the sake of taking.  I give in order to receive.

I lead by example…I guide out of necessity.  I love because I have no choice…because fate brought us together.  It was destiny…It was time…It was meant to be at this point in our lives.

You brought the key that unlocked my heart.  It is now yours.  In the same breath…you are mine…by choice…by your choosing…because “this” is all you have ever needed.  You just didn’t know you needed it until now.  But fate did…it knew…it had a plan…a plan that involved us together.

You are my plan…and I am yours.  I intend to execute my plan to the utmost degree…with precision…with perseverance…with care…with love.  You can’t fight fate…just accept it…and know it has a reason.  You…you are my reason!

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Yes boys and girls...it's time once again for FAF.  I appreciate all your comments and continued support.  Without you the viewers and voters this weekly post wouldn't be...well it would be worth while.  After all, I can look at asses all day every day if I want.  But for you my faithful followers, I choose to share a piece of the action.  Last week's winner is to the right.

I'm going to make it tough on you this week.  Some really nice pictures and asses.  Good luck to your favorite.  I hope you all have a great weekend, and enjoy this week's choices.  Take care everyone!

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Together They Are Strong

 It is with Him she finds herself to feel so safe.  He offers her everything she had ever wanted.  Not money or materialistic items, but the things that matter most in life.  He cares for and loves her like she has never experienced before.  He cherishes everything about her.  He shows her that she matters...that she is important.  He makes her realize that she is no less a person for belonging to Him. 

She is strong and can stand on her own two feet, yet, she chooses to be at His.  This is where she is most comfortable.  This is where she is secure.  She knows He has her safety, well being, and best interest at heart.  She knows He will guide her the best He knows how, and lead her down a path that is best for them both.  She also feels free to share and express her opinions and thoughts, knowing that they are important to Him...that she is important to him. 

Together they are strong.  They are two pieces that fit together as one.  Alone and on their own they are much less.  They need each other to be complete.  Each offers the other what they need the most...happiness and the ability to be who they really are.  No shame...no hiding...no need for false pretenses.  Just being themselves and what they need to be for each other.  The strength they each find in that is much more than they ever could have imagined.  More than they ever could have found apart. 

This is a partnership.  This is mutual respect.  This is mutual love.  This...is beautiful!

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Welcome back everybody!  I hope to get FAF back on track.  As many of you know, and some of you may not (thanks for the formspring question asking about FAF), the severe storms we had in my neck of the woods a few weeks ago put FAF on a short intermission.  Then I got all ready to fire it back up this morning and what do you know...Blogger is down for the count.  Go figure!

Anyway, better late than never!  I hope you all enjoy this week's options.  Have a great weekend!

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Finding Balance And Staying Focused

Finding balance...staying focused...keeping centered...these are all things that can be difficult at times.  Many times life can get in the way of TTWD and it can be hard to stay focused on what is right in front of you.  Paying the right amount of attention to a D/s relationship can become an issue.  Or any relationship for that matter.  Between work, home, and family, we all have issues we face daily that can cause stress and detour where we want our mind to be most...on our partner.

I have read a lot of blogs where the topic has been keeping balanced and centered.  There are many times a submissive finds herself losing balance and needs to be brought back in line.  I see this referred to as maintenance quite often.  It seems to be very prevalent in a D/s relationship.  The further you go, the more involved you become, and the more intense the relationship becomes, the more maintenance may be needed.  We all have different methods and types of maintenance that work best for us.  For some, a good spanking is just what you need.  For someone else, a cane or a flogger might do the trick.  For yet others, just being made or put in a position to submit may be the ticket.  Maybe it is a minor assignment from a Dom to his submissive just to get her mind back on track with their dynamic.  Whatever works for you is great and fine.  From time to time, though, we all need some re-direction to get us back on the path we so enjoy.

Something was pointed out to me last night that really made me think.  I don't know why it hit me like a ton of bricks last night, but it did.  Losing balance, getting off center, losing focus...it isn't just about a submissive.  I think this applies to a Dominant just as much as a submissive.  I know it does for me.  I have found myself saying how much I may miss my partner, or how much I may need them.  I may find myself stressed about and covered in work.  I may be involved in times that even though I know how much I need my D/s relationship, it just can't be seen to at the moment like I would like it to be. 

I, DV, the Dominant...I need to be balanced and centered.  I have those times when I need to get back on track.  I feel much more at peace and happier when I have this in my life.  I am a much more content person when I can regularly engage with my partner and be involved with her in our relationship.  Being balanced and focused, maintenance, or whatever you want to call it isn't just for a submissive.  A Dominant has his moments when he needs his submissive to be there for him.  He needs her to help him along.  He needs her to aid in getting him back on the path.  Just as a submissive may need need to submit and need control from her Dom, a Dom needs to be able to control and exert himself with his submissive.  He needs to be the Dominant he is to keep him centered and balanced.  A lack of being able to exercise this part of himself, can leave a Dominant lacking, or at least that is the case for this Dominant.

At times our daily routines seem to take over and cause us all to veer off course from what we need the most.  We need to be able to get back to the basics of our relationship to feel our best.  A submissive needs to be able to submit, and a Dominant needs to be able to Dominate.  Maintenance isn't just for a submissive.  It is for all of us.  I will be the first to tell you I need this, and at times I need it tremendously.  I need it to get me to where I feel most comfortable and balanced.  I don't like feeling out of balance and away from who I am and need to be.  So subs...see to your Dom and make sure he is able to stay where he needs to be, focused on you.  In return he will do the same for you when you need it most.  By working together, and giving each other what you need when you need it, it will bring you closer and make your relationship stronger.  After all...being there for each other is what it is all about anyway.

Public Service Announcement

I hereby bring you this Public Service Announcement to inform you of...well, of a problem I have been seeing and hearing about lately.  I think it is worth mentioning and talking about, even though I know I have before.  Even though many of you have talked about this before.  I have received a few emails lately looking for some advice or telling me about a specific situation.  The announcement is...BEWARE OF THE PLAYERS!!!  That would be the want-to-be Doms, the fake ones, and especially the ones that knowingly portray themselves as a Dom to prey on a submissive for an ulterior motive. 

As we all know, there are a lot of alleged Dominants out there.  Any guy, or girl for that matter, can come along and claim to be Dominant.  Anyone can put up a profile on a website and declare themselves as Dominant.  Don't believe me?  Just go to Fetlife or Collar Me or any other website, and you can have a profile up and running in about 5 minutes.  This can wreak havoc on those of us that really are part of this lifestyle, and especially on a submissive who is fairly new to TTWD and can't easily spot a "BAD" Dom.  It's no wonder so many people see this TTWD in a bad light.  It's very easy to step into this world and have a bad, if not horrific, experience.  It's no wonder so many people have a view about this, and those of us involved in this, that is completely and totally distorted and incorrect.

So...what do we do about this?  First and foremost be very careful and try to be sure who you are dealing with at all times.  Always use common sense.  When first meeting someone, always make it in public.  I don't care how long you have emailed or talked with someone.  You still never really know.  Nothing replaces a real meeting and the vibe you get from it.  Trust your gut feelings, and your intuition.  Never discount them.  They can alert you to things that may seem off base, but you can't quite put into words and explain.  Until you get to now someone, always have someone else know where you are.  They don't have to know about TTWD, but they do need to know you are meeting someone new, where you are and an expected check-in schedule.  This way if something does happen to go wrong, then you have some sort of backup on your side. 

Unfortunately, there is no Dom School.  It's not like you can ask to see transcripts and a diploma of where a person graduated and learned about being Dom.  We have all learned this on the fly and on our own.  I do wish we could load all the little future Doms and subs on a bus and ship them off to school, but that isn't going to happen.  It's a good thought though.  LOL!  And don't get me wrong, everyone is new at some point and has to start somewhere.  There are some great people out there that wll become a part of this lifestyle.  They have to learn somehow and in some way.  There is a mountain of information, blogs, websites, etc... on the internet. There are books you can buy.  There are local groups you can become a part of and participate.  My point is...educate yourself.  Never stop learning.  Learn about different aspects of this lifestyle and what all my be out there.  that doesn't mean you will like it all, or want to participate in it all.  But through this learning, you will find what you want and need the most, and can weed out the rest.  You can learn a great deal about yourself and TTWD by doing research and constantly trying to gain more knowledge.  These blogs many of us write, I think are a great tool.  They pretty much cover the spectrum of dynamics and activities.  You can read and follow numerous blogs and learn a lot.  Not to mention we all have fun writing them (most of the time anyway lol) and we all become close in our own way in this blog community. 

I don't care whether you are a Dominant or a submissive.  I don't care if you are into M/s, D/s, or just a little kink every now and then.  Please be careful with all that you do.  Please try your best to be safe and know with who you are meeting and dealing.  It isn't always possible, but be sure to look for red flags and take note.  Also, whether you are seasoned or new, never think you are done learning.  there is always more to learn and expand upon.  You can never stop growing in your position and dynamic.  If you do you will become stagnant, and that breeds trouble and despair.  You can't go wrong for yourself and your partner/relationship when you are trying to further your education about TTWD.  Please stay safe and be careful in all your endeavors.

This concludes today's Public Service Announcement! 

DV Update

Thanks to all that sent there well wishes during all the bad storms we endured a little over a week ago.  Your thoughts and prayers have meant a lot.  Things have been really crazy the ever since then, with home and work...mostly work.  I went about 5 days without power, which really sucked by the way.  You don't realize how much your entire life revolves around having power until you don't have it. 

It could have been much worse though.  Here in town where I am, we had little if no damage at all.  Yet, every county surrounding us had some sort of major catastrophic damage.  This included the main power plant, which is why we were without power.  Somehow all the tornados managed to lift over our town, or skirt the edges and leave us untouched.  To give you an idea of the magnitude of these storms, just go to youtube and type in Alabama Tornado in the search.  The date was April 27.  There are a ton of videos and pictures of the devastation.  One of the tornados tracked across Mississippi, Alabama, and Tennessee.  At times it was rated as an EF-5, and had a track that was 132 miles long.  I just can't really fathom that.  At one point that afternoon, the county just northeast of me had 4 different tornado warnings at the same time.  Yep...four possible tornados on the ground in one county at the same time.  Unbelievable!!!  So yes...it could have been much worse for me. 

Two of the people I work with were directly affected.  A couple others had immediate family members that were in the midst of damage.  So, on top of getting into out busy time of the year at work, we were down in manpower, and struggling to keep things running.  Luckily it is all working out an things are beginning to return to somewhat normal.  This coming week should be back on track...at least I hope.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and emails.  I hope to get back to posting in the next few days and get FAF going again next week as well.  I hope you all have a great weekend!