My Collar

The Christmas season is generally not a stressful time for me.  I learned long ago that if I can get the majority of my shopping done prior to Thanksgiving, then I can spend the rest of my time putting up the tree, decorating, and enjoying the season.  But this year, outside stresses have decided to pile it on!

I work my professional job Monday-Thursday.  I also own a small side business where I get to use my creativity and play with power tools.  I generally take my last orders for Christmas one week prior, but this year I had a couple of requests that I caved and agreed too.  Two items I outsourced to have cut.  The delivery came yesterday and I knew I had plenty of time to finished them up and have delivered before Christmas.  Until I opened the box....One of the items was spelled wrong and cut in the wrong font.  Three items were each broke in three pieces, and two items were broke in half.  Of course it is now too late to have them recut and finished before Christmas.  I hate having to tell customers that I have failed them and now they are going to be scrambling to come up with another gift idea.  That was the last straw for me last night.  I just broke down and all the little things that have been piling up over the last week came pouring out in a ugly cry. 

"This is spelled wrong and in the wrong font.  These are broke, and these are broke. This customer issue.  This rude customer.  Plus, I have piles all over the house and garage of items that need to be finished, picked up, or delivered.  Having to lay down X amount for a new dryer 4 days before Christmas is not my idea of a good time.  My kids are grown and scattered in 3 different states so they won't be home for Christmas.  I miss my grandbabies.   The little one is struggling with daddy not being there when she wakes Christmas morning, and that breaks my heart for her.  I have to make something to bring to the work luncheon on Monday.  I have to make homemade rolls for our family Christmas lunch at your parent's house.  I'm angry about these orders and I hate disappointing customers.  I'm just overwhelmed and tired"  

Poor Master just had it laid on him in true "ugly cry" fashion.  He calmly asked "What do you need"  "What can I do for you"  I had no answer for him.  None of this can be fixed.  It just is what it is.

That's when he got up and walked in our room.  When he came back, he had my collar in his hands.  When he placed it around my neck, I immediately have this sense of peace wash over me.  I doesn't fix the previously stated issues, but it puts it on the back burner and allows my mind to stop for a while and gives me the break I need from all of it.  I wrapped my fingers through the O ring as I laid my head in his lap.  The next thing I know, he is waking me up and telling me it's time to go to bed.  I slept with my collar on.  I'm still wearing it as I type this out.  If  Master allows it, I will wear it until I have to leave tomorrow morning.  

I have always been in awe at how everything within me changes the moment Master places the collar around my neck.  How it calms me and refocuses my thoughts on what is important.  It reminds me of my place and who I am.  As much as I try to please my customers, the only person I truly need to please is Master DV.  When I'm stressed and upset, that doesn't please him.  So going forward, there will be changes in my side business, and the time I spend with my family.  

I woke this morning with a clear head and able to logically think through the issues weighing on me last night.  Things break during shipping.  People make mistakes.  I do the best I can for my customers and they know this.  I can't make everyone happy.  The rude ones will no longer be given my time.  Our kids grow up and start their own lives. (that one will probably always be a hard one for this momma)  Sometimes life isn't fair or easy.  This dish I'm bringing to our work luncheon will only take me 15 minutes to throw together.  The rolls don't have to be done until Christmas morning.  Plus I totally rock my homemade rolls so it's worth it.  Master knows that I have been busy and he hasn't said a word about me taking over the garage, the dinning room and part of his office.  After Monday, I have the next 6 days to get our home back in order.  More importantly, this is our first Christmas as husband and wife, Master and slave.

I love my collar!  I love it for all that it represents and for all that it does for me mentally as well as physically!

His devoted slave