Submissive Emotions and the Dominant

"I warned you!  I told you how this would be.  I told you how intense this could and probably would become.  I told you how emotional this would become for you.  I told you this would be like no other relationship you have ever had.  I told you how it would be hard to go back once I had taken you there.  Did you believe me?  Did you think I was lying?  Did you really think I was just telling you things to lure you in?  Maybe...maybe not.  You had no way of knowing.  You had no reference point.  You had never been here before to be able to understand.  But...now you see.  Now you get it.  Now you understand.  Now...you are addicted!"

I read about a lot of women who decide to embrace her submissive side.  She comes out of the closet and becomes more open about who she is and needs to be.  But does she really know what she is in for?  Does she really know how emotional and mental this will become?  Does she really even know what she wants and is willing to do?  No!  There is no way she can.

There are several aspects we can look at in this regard.  Today I just want to focus on emotions.  More specifically, the emotions that come about and begin evolve once she takes the steps and gets going in this lifestyle.  Once a submissive woman comes to grips with her needs and desires, and finds the right Dominant to lead her down this road, that's when things get much more deep than she can imagine them being. 

From personal experience, I can tell you that no woman, no matter what or how you try to explain to her, can grasp how her emotions will become involved.  How her need will grow.  How this will become an addiction for her.  She has no way to know.  She has no reference point as of now.  I can drill into a sub how intense this can be.  How emotional it will become.  But until she is actually there and feeling it, she really can't know and understand.

She will be required, with me anyway, to be completely open and honest at all times.  She will be required to open herself and her inner thoughts to me like she never has to anyone before in her life.  She will be faced with being vulnerable like never before.  In many women this will strike fear.  Fear of having to be that open.  Fear of having to share such a dark side of her newly discovered self.  Fear of being hurt by being so open.  There is no hiding and no holding back.  Many times she has been hurt in the past, and has withdrawn and put up so many barriers that it takes an entire demolition crew to begin to knock down those walls.  This can be a very emotional time for her.  She wants this and needs this, but is scared to death at the same time, as she is introduced more and more to this life by discussions, pictures, assignments, and so on. 

This is where having the right Dominant is so important.  It is at this very moment that her entire submissiveness swings in the balance.  This can become the best thing ever, or it can become the nightmare she so greatly fears.  Who holds the key to which way it will swing?  I, the Dominant, does.  It is up to me to guide her through this jungle of emotions.  It is up to me to support her, do all I can to make her feel safe, and to show her I care.  That I'm not just here to use her and do all these naughty things to her and treat her like trash.  Although, this may be what she believes by all she has seen and read on the internet.  I'm here to help support and hold her up.  I'm here to lead her down this path, help her face her fears, and see that I mean what I say and I am who I say I am.  That I'm not here to tear her down, but to build her up.  It is through this support and care that she will begin to believe that I am truly here for her.  That I really do want to help her be who she needs to be, and in a loving and caring manner.  That I don't want to change her, but want to open her up and help her spread her wings to be who she already is. 

There are a lot of Doms, or alleged Doms, out there.  They will make all sorts of claims.  Many think it's about having a woman bow to you, get on her knees, suck your cock, there for you to fuck whenever they want, etc...  They think it would be great to have a woman do whatever they say.  What they don't know and realize is how much time and effort goes into a submissive in supporting and caring for her.  He doesn't realize that, in contradictory terms, the more of himself he gives to her, the more he will get from her.  There is so much work on a mental and emotional side of a D/s relationship, before you really can appreciate and accept the physical side of it.  There's no wonder a lot of submissives I read about have had issues and problems in the lifestyle.  Lucky for us good Dominants (yes I'm making an assumption about myself), the drive and pull in a submissive keeps her going and looking, even after a bad experience or two.

My point is this...there are some very emotional times for a submissive in coming to grips with who she is.  It takes a lot of work and effort to be able to guide her and get her comfortable with this.  It takes a caring and strong Dominant to be able to work through this with her, and want to work through this with her.  If you take the time to build her up, show her the way, show her how great this can be, take care of and support her, then you are building a strong foundation for your future.  She will be much more loyal and giving of herself, if she sees and knows you are willing to give of yourself as well.  If your foundation is weak, well...don't be surprised when the house comes tumbling down.  It's no ones fault but your own, as the Dominant.  She has no way to know otherwise and is counting on you to know and lead her.

Can you do that?  Can you build a strong foundation for her to be steady on her feet?  Can you work with her the way she needs and deserves?  Can you give yourself to her, so she will give herself in return?  Can you?  You better! Or you better not act surprised when you have lots of issues that can't be resolved.   She deserves the best and all you have.  If you can't give her that, then maybe you should stay in the kiddie pool until you grow up enough to swim with the adults!