Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

It's that time of the week again!  The one where, for most of us anyway, the work week is about over and...yes you get to see some wonderful asses and even get the opportunity to vote on your favorite.  Last week's winner is posted to the right.


I hope you all enjoy these week's choice.  Have a great weekend and Take care!

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Formspring Question

"Hi I know I am submissive but I am ashamed of it! I try to act dominant because I don't want to be seen as a doormat by other people but another part of me *likes* caring and serving and well, doing submissive things. How am I meant to reconcile the two?"

Thanks for the question.  I think this is something that many submissives struggle with.  First of all I will say that in no way is TTWD meant to make you feel like or be treated like a doormat.  A lot of what you see and read about, or pictures you view, on the internet make this lifestyle come across that way.  Yet, the reality is that is only a very small portion  of the big picture and all that a relationship like this entails. 

It can be hard to reconcile with yourself all that you feel is expected of you...from a mother, to career woman, to keeping up and house, to being sexual and intimate with your partner, and so on.  I think the expectations that society puts on woman can be difficult.  From how a woman feels she is supposed to act and present herself, to being strong, assertive, and able to care for herself.  What you have to make yourself understand is that there is nothing wrong with what you want and need.  Everyone is different and needs different things. 

It's ok to need to submit.  It's ok to need to be cared for and protected by your man.  It's ok to have the need to serve him and give yourself to him completely.  As long as it makes you happy, and you get all you need from it, then that's what matters.  It doesn't matter what anyone else does or says.  It is your choice.  It's when you fully get that and feel it deep within your soul, and accept it as ok for you, even though it may not be for everyone...that ii when you will find happiness and peace.  As some captions on D/s pics I have seen have stated (I'll paraphrase)...it is by being bound and completely belonging to and being owned by him, that she she feels most free.

There is no need to be or feel ashamed of your desires.  You are feeling this way based on what you perceive is expected from you.  You have to be able to look beyond that for what is best for you as the individual you are.  I'm not saying this is easy.  Especially when you have spent your whole life believing or being taught to be a certain way.  Just know that is it ok to want, need, and feel the desires you have.  You and only you know what is best for you and what you need.  Don't let outside influences and the views of others deter you from being happy and who you truly are. 

I wrote a post back in April of 2010 about this very situation you have inquired about.  Here is that post:  Broken?  I think not!

DV

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Thanks to all that voted and participated n the Mid-Year FAF Playoffs.  The over winner is posted to the right.

This week we will resume our regularly scheduled programming.  A brand new set of pics for you to vote on, which are all...well, quite nice.

I hope you all have a great weekend!  Take care!

DV

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Perfection

You are always on my mind, in my heart, and a part of my very soul.

 
Never forget and never doubt that. 

I am who I am because of you.

I am able to fully be myself because of you.

Because you accept it...nurture it..and need it from me.

In turn, I need you and all that you are as well. 

Separately we are each a half.

Together we mesh cohesively as a whole.

We feed off the energy that radiates from each of us.
 

Together we can go much further than we ever could on our own.

My Dominance and your submission go hand in hand.

We compliment each other to the fullest.

We are...perfection!

~DV~

Seeking Advice From You...All My Dear Followers

I recently received a email form a follower.  Actually more of a lurker, but that's beside the point.  Anyway...she is going through a very tough time in her life and with her submission.  Well, it's more of her lack of being able to submit due to not being in a relationship at the moment.  She asked for my help, and honestly didn't think I could do this alone. 

So, DV is here asking for help from you, my readers and followers.  I would love your comments and advice for this nice lady.  I know a lot of you have been through, or are going through, a similar situation.  Any advice and/or support you could give her, to let her know she is not alone, would be great.  I asked for and got permission to post parts of her email.  It has been altered a bit for security reasons and she will remain anonymous.  Oh, let's give her a name to make it easier.  How about...Becky!  Becky's email is as follows:

I read your post on laughter today.  You made some good points of keeping laughter in your life no matter what the situation.  Laughter has been sorely missing from my life lately, but it is coming back slowly.  Right now I am very isolated in my life and haven't found a way to change that.  No, I am not wallowing in self pity about the circumstances of my life or my ended relationship.  In fact, I have dealt better in this relationship ending than the ending of past ones.  I feel like I need to harden myself and shut off my emotions so I can get back to where I was this time last summer when I did not feel the "need" for a relationship.  I was happy alone then.  Yes, I had unfinished business from past relationships that I needed to resolve within myself and I did resolve them, and a lot of my ability to do that came from the help you gave me and the insight you had last year into how much I needed to let go of all I still carried with me and the huge walls around me.  I say this with confidence, that those past relationships are set to rest.  But, hardening myself and shutting off emotions is not the right way to become happy even though alone. 

 

However, when I read your "Laughter" post.  I realized, that I, like you said of yourself, have always been a person who liked to pick on people, joke around with them, be sarcastic, and tease them unmercifully at times.  In fact, I always said and still do that teasing is one of the ways I show affection to others.  May sound strange to some.  I like to kid around and be sarcastic, but sarcastic with a smile on my face.  But, in reading your post, I realized I have stopped doing all that now for a while.  I know that the man from my recent relationship was drawn to me by my joking, teasing, etc.  Just as with sex, crying, spanking, laughter is a good tension reliever.  I need to get my laughter, joking around, teasing self back.  So, feel free to pick on me to get me back into the groove.

 

You know, I have always been into spanking, but it was not a part of my recently ended relationship.  I am beginning to think that I may go through my entire life and never experience that even once during sex or for acting out.  Of course, there are other things I would like to experience in a D/s relationship, too.  Earlier, I mentioned that I needed to harden myself and shut off my emotions and get back to where I was last summer in being "ok" alone.  But, I feel very lost and disconnected without a relationship in my life now.  I went many years without it, locked that desire away, and then since this last man, I can't let go of the desire for D/s as a part of my life.  I know you can't let yourself fall into feeling lonely and sad, but rather keep a positive outlook, and open heart, and a smile on your face, and laughter as a tool and release.  I do that most days.  But, this morning I was thinking about tomorrow being my birthday.  Then I thought of what my life was comprised of the day before I turn another year older, as we all do, and realized there is no one person in this world to whom I am considered to be the most important person in their life.  The one person they live, breathe, learn from, grow for, and look forward to seeing every day.  It made me think that this fact is kind of a two-edge sword because even though I know each person, including me, is special and just as important to the world by themselves, alone; no less important because they are not connected to another person in a special relationship, we measure our lives and the importance of others around us based on who we love and who loves us totally and without reproach.  I have found that the loss of my recent relationship this past May to be particularly painful due to the intense connection, the dynamics of the relationship, the intertwine of submission and dominance, the extent of honesty, respect, and trust built up, the revelation of who we are at our core in order to realize the benefits of TTWD.  I have felt loss and heart sickness, and pain from the loss of past relationships (vanilla ones), but nothing like the "ripping and tearing" all the way down to my inner core from a D/s relationship loss.  You have to let all of "you" and who "you are" out and lay it before your partner in order to realize TTWD.  All of which makes the fall from the loss of a D/s relationship all the harder.  It is so much more hard coming out of a D/s relationship and finding a place within you where you can be at peace with your D/s desires yet not able to have someone in your life and a relationship with someone. 

I know that when D/s relationships end both the Dom and the sub are "cut to the bone" due to the intensity of their connection to each other.  The sub who has given to her Dom her complete trust in that he will be there to keep her safe and protected and her world even and balanced, looking only to him to lead and guide her, to bring her happiness in that he desires and values her submitting to him as much as she desires and values being able to submit to him, only him.  All of that is a "life line" connecting the sub to her dom.  She learns to depend on that "life line" and when it is suddenly yanked away, she is lost and left floundering.  Her "safeness and balance" is gone.  Yes, you miss the love, kisses, good times together, places you went that were special and all the other things that make up a couple's life together.  But, it is the loss of the "life line" between you and your Dom and the missing "safeness and balancing of your core being" that keeps you awake at night. 

 I know there are some of you out there that can relate to Becky's situation and feelings.  Anything you can say to help her cope and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel would be greatly appreciated.  Being the lurker she is, Becky will be reading your comments and may even chime in herself, if she so desires.  So, feel free to ask questions as well, because she can always respond as anonymous and signed Becky.  Thanks in advance to all of you for your comments and support.

DV

Fantastic Ass Friday - Mid-Year Playoff Finals

We have reached the finals of the mid-year playoffs for FAF.  We have had some good votes so far.  Thanks to all that have participated. 

We had a tie for second place again last week.  So...three pics are moving on from last week, three from the week before, and the two that I gave an automatic bid into the finals.  Yep...that's right...there are eight total pics in the finals.  I know it's a lot to choose from.  Since there are so many, I will allow you to vote for two pictures.  Now, I realize you can't vote for two at once, as has been pointed out to me.  You will just have to come back a second time to place your second vote. 

Enough with my delaying the inevitable!  Let's get on with the pictures, and I look forward to seeing who you all vote as your Most Fantastic Ass for the first half of 2011!

FAF Playoffs - Finals

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Thursday Humor

After my post yesterday, Laughter Is Good For The Soul, I find it my duty to...well, make you laugh.  Okay, maybe at least smile just a little bit.  All the comments seem to agree that we need to laugh and enjoy ourselves.  So today we will! 

I have noticed lately that there seems to be a new promotion going on at McDonald's.  I have yet to see a commercial on television for it, but it is being promoted on the marquees at the stores.  In case you haven't seen any advertisements yourself, here are a few examples. Hmmmm...makes me wonder if maybe the toy inside the Happy Meal is a beginners butt plug?!?!  LOL! 

Smile and laugh people...it's good for your soul!  :)