The Epiphany (Part 2)

Here she was feeling weak and vulnerable.  She had an emotional breakdown of sorts, and she did all she knew to do...call him.  What she didn't understand at the time, is in his eyes she wasn't weak and vulnerable.  She was gaining strength.  She was finding herself.  She was on a journey of discovery, and, well...that is just what she was doing...discovering herself.  This man was enabling her to see a side of herself she had never seen.  She was feeling emotions about him and about what she had been experiencing like she had never felt for anyone.  She reached down deep and reached out to him.  She needed help and needed guidance.  There was no one else with whom she could talk.  No one else would understand.  But in her heart she knew she didn't want to talk with someone else.  She wanted him all along.  She reached out and he showed up.  That in itself spoke volumes to her.


When he approached she had fear in her eyes.  How could she feel so much?  How could she feel about him the way she does?  Why is all this coming down on her in one big crashing wave?  Why is she so willing to do anything for this man?  She's never had anyone she was willing to do absolutely anything with or for...but she would do anything this man asked or required of her, without question.   Why?  She didn't understand, but she knew he would.  She knew he could guide her through this.  That is what he has told her he would do...guide and lead, and help her through anything and everything.  She was seeing this in him.  He wasn't just words.  He was much, much more.  This was part of what had her so emotional.  She knew he was much more.  He was everything she had ever wanted.  He was everything she had ever dreamed about.  Being with him was like being in another universe.  One where everything else was gone and nothing else mattered.  It was just the two of them together.  She had never been with anyone that made her feel as important and special as he did.  He had swept her off her feet and she knew it.  The best part was he didn't even go out of his way to do any of this.  He was just being himself.  She had never met anyone like him, and knew there was a good chance she never would again.


He asked her to tell him what she was feeling...going through her head...what was catching her off guard.  She knew she had called him out here.  She was the one that needed to talk.  She knew that he would make her talk.  That was the most important thing in the world to this man...being able to openly have a conversation about anything, good or bad.  She wasn't used to being this open.  She never had anyone she felt comfortable enough being around to be that open.  That's just another thing on her list.  With him she felt that comfortable.  She felt like she could tell him anything.  She had already told him more and let him see inside of her like no one else ever had.  Yet, when asked what was wrong, although she wanted to speak, nothing would come out.  She stopped and started several times.  There was so much she didn't even know where to start. 


Finally she began talking and explaining and asking questions.  He would listen and answer, listen and answer.  He would ask his own questions and give responses to her answers.  He would tell stories and give scenarios and make jokes.  They had a serious conversation, one that could possibly even be seen as life altering, yet it was kept light and flowed well.  She felt at ease.  She felt comfort.  She remembered and knew exactly why she called him to talk.  Exactly why she has opened up to him the way she has done.  He actually listens to her.  He remembers things about her.  He doesn't look down or talk down to her.  They talk as if they are equals.  Her views, her thoughts, her opinions...they matter.  She has a voice and she knows it will be heard.  Yet, at the same time, she respects and wants his voice, opinions and guidance.  He doesn't have to do what she says or what she wants.  She knows that.  But he listens, he pays attention, he cares, and he always takes it into account.  She would do anything he said and follow him anywhere without question or hesitation.  Yet, he still cares enough to make her important and a priority in his life.  He doesn't take advantage of her and her feelings.  He doesn't take her for granted.  He may be Dominant and he may have power and control, and she may love that and give every ounce of herself to him in every...but in the end he treats her as his partner.  As they are in this together side by side. 


Why was this happening?  What had she done to deserve this?  Why was she so special?  She was finally realizing that none of the answers to these questions mattered.  He was into her for being her.  It was her that he cared for.  It was her that he wanted to be with.  It was her that he wanted to lead and guide and have by his side.  The more they talked the more she realized what she was really feeling.  The more she realized how much she really does need him.  How much she can't stand the thought of being without him.  The ultimate epiphany for her was facing and accepting that she loved this man with all she had.  She had fallen for him, and fallen hard.  Yet, the landing was soft.  Why?  Because he was there to catch her.  He always told her if she fell he would be there to ease the landing and catch her, and he was.  She trusted him unequivocally.  She would trust this man with her very life.  There were things he could say to her and make her melt on the spot.  He could make her instantly aroused with one sentence, and bring her to her knees in another.  But nothing he ever said could make her as weak or affect her and make her feel like the way he was about to do.  Nothing had ever even come close.  He knew how she felt.  She didn't even have to come right out and say it, because he knew.  He always knows.  He knows her better than she knows herself sometimes.  Then in one motion he gently placed his hands on the sides of her head, he pulled her in and held her so tight, and then leaned down and out of nowhere whispered in her ear..."I love you too baby!"
 

The Epiphany (Part 1)

The look in her eyes was one of being scared.  It was one of wanting and needing so much.  It was one of begging for reassurance and explanation.  It was evident she has entered new territory like she had never felt before.  She had never been treated the way he treated her.  Like she was important.  Like she was a priority.  Like she mattered.  She was getting all from him she had ever dreamed about and wanted.  Love...care...respect...control...freedom to let go and be herself.  She had never been able to show anyone all sides of herself.  She had always been guarded and put up barricades.  Only certain people saw certain sides of her, but no one had ever been inside those walls and seen all of her.  

He was like no one she had ever met before.  She never knew she could feel so comfortable and free with someone.  She knew he loved her by his actions and his words.  But this was different...he was different.  He was touching her in places and ways no one ever had.  He was in her head.  He was in her heart.  He was in her every breath.  She felt him from the top of her head to the tips of her fingers and toes and everywhere in between, as he ran through her body in unison with her own flow of blood.  He was consuming her entire being.  This was so new to her.  It was scary to be this consumed.  Her logical mind told her this just can't be.  Her emotions told her to embrace it with all she had.  And that's just what she was doing.  Logic was slowly coming around.  She was beginning to believe this could be real.  It could be more than just a dream.  Reality could be this good.

She was feeling overwhelmed with emotions.  She was unsure just what was happening.  She had never felt this rush of  so many things at one time.  She had that moment where it all clicked and all came together.  She had an epiphany where it all began to make sense.  This was cemented in her psyche with what followed.  They had just spent an afternoon together having orgasm after orgasm.  She had given herself to him...she was his.  She was discovering what it is like to let go...to be herself, and accept all he has to offer her.  He hadn't pushed too hard, just small nudges in the right direction.  He made her feel things on a level she hadn't felt at any time in her life.  Even normal vanilla activities seemed to be much different and better.  How can this be?  How can he make her feel this way?  What was happening to her?  He had a power and control over her.  One that no one had ever had over her, and certainly one that she never let anyone have previously.  Yet, she wanted him to have it.  She needed him to have it.  She had needed this her whole life and didn't even know it.  Now it was sinking in.  But why?  Why now?  The reason...because he pointed it out.  He asked her point blank..."Do you know how much control and power I have over you and your body?"  

This didn't really begin to sink in until her drive home.  Then, just as if she had driven her car straight into a brick wall, it smacked her right in the face full force.  The emotions of all they had were bubbling up.  She loved him and she was admitting that to herself.  She truly needed him, and she was finally admitting that.  She felt things for him she couldn't even describe.  She was beginning to really be able to understand much of what he had been telling her.  She could feel it in her chest like a weight pressing down.  All that did was confirm her trust and belief in him.  What he had told her was right.  What he had told her was coming true.  He had told her that certain things you can't truly understand until you are there, feel them, and experience them for yourself.  It was now making more sense.  She was understanding.  And most of all, she knew he was right...he did have more power and control over her than she even came close to admitting and realizing.  The most odd part to her was that she wanted that.  She wanted him to have that control.  She had never wanted anyone to have control of her, but him...with him...she wanted him to have it all.  She needed to give herself to him and be his as much as she needs water to survive.  On this ride home, all of this came to the surface and came bubbling out.  She broke down.  It was too much.  It was overwhelming.  How could this one man bring out so much in her, she thought?

What was she going to do?  How would she deal with this?  How could she possibly process all of this?  She did the only thing she knew to possibly do...she picked up the phone and called him.  She said how much she missed and needed him, and needed to talk.  If it wasn't too inconvenient, she needed to see him again...now.  She shouldn't have been surprised when he said he would be happy to.  When he said he was on his way and would be there in 15 minutes.  When she saw him, it was a relief...a joy...a release.  She needed him and he came to her.  She wasn't used to that.  She wasn't used to someone showing her how important she is, or at least feeling that way.  She needed him right now more than ever, and he came without hesitation.  He was there for her just like he said he would be.  Once again he backed his words with his actions.  She was seeing now more than ever how important she was to him as well.  He really was there to take care of her, guide her, and protect her. She could feel it.  She knew it.  It wasn't just words.  He meant what he said. 

(to be continued)

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF)

Thanks to all that voted last week!  It was a good vote and a very close one, but there was one that came out on top.  (Posted to the right)



No big talks from me this week.  We will get right to the pics!  I hope you all have a great weekend!  Take care and stay kinky!

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Chemistry Lab

We have all been through several chemistry classes together lately.  (see posts Chemistry 101, 201, and 301)  Any of you that know anything about chemistry class in school know that there is classroom lectures and work, and then there is time spent in the lab.  The lab time is there is be able to see in person how the things you have been studying actually work in practice.  Now I would love to be able to invite you all over and give you a hands on personal demonstration.  However...that certainly is not feasible, and many of your significant others may not take too kindly to that.  And I certainly can't have any other Doms accusing me of ruining their subs.  LOL! 

All joking aside, this was the best way I know to show a side of what I have been saying.  This wouldn't work with just any picture.  It had to be the perfect picture.  I really wasn't looking for one, but I saw this and it happened to fit perfectly.  So...your Chemistry Lab Demonstration is this...

 

This picture reeks of chemistry to me.   It is overflowing with want and need.  It is being lost in a moment with that special someone, where time stands still, nothing else matters and there is no place else you'd rather be.  It's feeling so connected to each other that you want to consume every ounce of each others being.  It's needing to have them near you and this close.  It's feeding the addiction you have for that person.  It's breathing each other in and out.  It's feeling the warmth of each others body next to yours and then trying to pull yourself in even closer.  It's total pleasure with where you are, even with your clothes still on.  It's wanting so much and everything with the other person, that you stay frozen because you don't know which direction to go first.  It's hoping this moment never ends.  It's knowing how bad you want to stay when it's time to go.  It's not wanting to be apart even though you know you have no choice.  It's knowing when you are apart how bad you need to be with and see them again.  It's these moments that build the fire and feed the need, and bring you closer than you were before.  

That boys and girls is Chemistry!  That is total connection!  That is what want and need actually looks like!  As for how it actually feels...I can't help you with that one.  You need to conduct your own chemistry lab and experiment.  But I can tell you that when you do find it...you will know.  there won't be a single doubt in your mind.  You will just feel it and know.  I hope you all do feel it and know.  It's not something I want any of you to have to do without.  It is very special and something that everyone should have.

Class dismissed!  

Professor DV

Thursday Humor!

This was just too good to pass up and not share with you all!  :)  (It's a little blurry, but it you click on it, it will open in a new window and is easily readable.)

Chemistry 301 (Need and Addiction)

All of you thought you were here to read sex blogs, learn about bdsm, get turned on and aroused, and get a glimpse into other peoples relationship dynamics.  You had no idea I was taking you back to school...no less to chemistry class.  And just for the record, I got out of high school chemistry by the skin of my teeth, and avoided it completely in college.  :)  But alas, we are talking about a different kind of chemistry, aren't we?!?!  The kind that occurs between two people and pulls them together into a relationship.  The kind that makes two people want each other, feel good around each other, and need each other.  Chemistry 301 is all about NEED! 

I mentioned in Chemistry 101 that you can feel so connected to someone that this special connection and chemistry between you could take you higher than any drug ever could.  I'm not going to get into the actual chemical responses of the brain, in dealing with either a relationship or illegal drugs (or even legal ones for that matter).  That's left to the scientists, which I am certain not one.  Yet, there does definitely seem to be some emotional, and I'm sure chemical, reactions within the brain that drive us. There are many times you meet someone, and you just can't totally explain what you are feeling, yet it just doesn't feel right.  The opposite is true as well.  Maybe you can't fully express in words what you are feeling, but you know with this person it just feels right. 

As this continues, your relationship grows and builds, and as you become closer, this special connection and chemistry becomes much more than that.  It begins to evolve into a deep yearning, desire and need.  You begin to rely on your partner for much more than you have anyone in the past, or at least in a long time.  You feel like they are a part of you.  Like they are the missing piece that completes you.  Like they make you feel whole.  This is where NEED really comes in and starts to develop.  The more you are together, the more you need the other person.  You begin to feel lost without having them.  You are driven to be with this person.  They seem to fit you like a tailor made glove, and nothing about your relationship ever seems wrong or out of place.  The growing need for each other can even become physical.  For example...there is an old saying "I need you so bad it hurts", or "I miss you so bad it hurts".  There is some definite truth to this.  The need may be emotional, but it can manifest itself to be felt in a physical way.

This need can manifest on multiple levels.  The first is an emotional level.  You can grow into being so content and comfortable with your partner that you need them emotionally.  You need to have them in your life.  You need to hear their voice.  You need to be in contact with them.  There is an emotional need for their love, care and attention.  You may go hours or days and not hear from them, and begin to feel alone and distraught.  But then when you do hear from them, your whole demeanor changes.  You feel uplifted and much better about yourself.  That is a big part of the emotional connection and need. It's not only being attracted and feeling a connection, but how that person makes you feel about yourself.  It's a constant circle of making each other feel good about the relationship, your partner and yourself.  It's feeling wanted, needed, and appreciated as much as you feel the same about them.

The second area the need for someone can manifest itself is in a physical manner.  When you have all these other things going on (emotions, connection, chemistry), it naturally makes you want to be physical with this person.  That is a natural human response.  When things seem perfect and right, then the physical aspect of the relationship can really kick into gear.  And when things feel perfect on a physical level, they just keep going.  Whether it's kissing, touching, petting, actual sexual intercourse, or whatever you may be doing.  The more you do, the more you want, the more you want to give, the more you want to experience, the more you want your partner to experience, and so on.  The need to be with that person physically really takes off.  If you are in a position like myself, where you can't be with your partner constantly, then this is where the need takes over.  You are apart but feel the need to be with them.  You need to feel their touch.  You need to feel their lips on yours.  You need to be able to make them feel as good as they make you feel.  You need to be able to physically connect on a very basic and primitive, yet intimate level.  In basic terms, you need to be able to feel skin on skin...to feel yourself get so aroused that you think you are going to explode just from their touch...and to know they are feeling the same thing you are.  Being apart can be hard and can make this need grow even more.  It's difficult to want and need someone so bad but not be able to do anything about it.  However, it does make the times when you can see each other, that much more special and intense.

The need for another person, especially when the two of you seem so absolutely perfect together, can become and addiction.  It's just like with any drug...you can become addicted and need your fix.  The need can drive you to be together and take each other as high as you can possibly imagine.  Being apart can be the same as not being able to have your drug, and you can experience withdrawals.  I do believe it's possible to miss or need someone so bad it hurts (withdrawals).  Together, everything seems perfect, there isn't a care in the world, and nothing else exists or matters.  Apart you just need more of what you have had and what you know only that person can give you and how they can make you feel.  It is very possible to get to a point where you say..."I'm addicted to you!"

Since I said this series is about me and my own emotions, I will say this...I believe in everything I have said.  I have been there and felt it all for myself.  I love the feeling of all the emotions, the connection, the chemistry, the need, the desire, and the addiction of finding that special person that makes you feel like no one else possibly ever has.  I don't want my partner to hold back.  Feed my need.  Feed my addiction.  Make me want and need you more than anything else.  I want to feel all of "this" without question or hesitation.  Make me feel like I can't live without you as a part of my life.  When I have this total connection, need and addiction with someone, there is no better feeling in the world!  When I have this and feel this way, not only do I want you to be mine completely and totally, but you will have all of me as well.  Be mine and I will be yours.  Let's be addicted together!  Nothing else could possibly be better than that!

Tuesday Humor

…”and we can have tea parties and play dress-up,

and have a sleepover! 

My mommy is going to be SO surprised. "

I saw this and just had to laugh.  This is so something my daughter would do!  

Reminds me of yesterday afternoon...she was playing in the back yard and was complaining about a wasp flying around.  I told her just to make a funny face, wave her arms, and yell "BOO"!  It would scare the wasp and he would fly away.  So..for the next half hour she is running around the back yard looking for wasps to scare.  Hindsight told me that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.  LOL!  Ahhh...life with a three year old!  :)