As mentioned in the last post by Hds, I am struggling physically. I have a herniated disc in my neck and surgery is looming not far away. If you have never had this issue Then I hope you don't ever have to go through it. The neck pain and soreness itself is not that bad. The radiating nerve pain in my shoulder and down the arm is the main issue. Along with numbness in a couple of my fingers, or if I move the right way my entire hand starts tingling and going numb. This has slowly been getting worse and no other attempts to resolve it have helped, hence the need for surgery. It wasn't too noticeable at first, but now the weakness and lack or coordination in my hand and arm are becoming more apparent.
One of the rules I have with Hds is she is to text me when she gets to work in the morning so I know she made it safely. She is also to text me when heading home in the evenings so I know she is on the road and on her way. She has a bit of a drive and a fair amount of traffic to deal with, so it is somewhat a safety thing as well as my own peace of mind. Least to say she tends to forget at times. I have to ask if she made it to work. Or, she just comes walking in at home, which leads me to ask why she is home because I didn't even know she was on the road. She has even tried to be sneaky and text me from a block away and then she walks in the door just minutes later. This is usually a 30-45 minute drive depending on traffic, to which I say "nice try Hds" and her usual response is "well I did text you to let you know I was on my way home".
The punishment for not letting me know she is on the road is usually five whips with the belt (not the fun kind). Granted, I'm not always good with my follow-through on carrying out the punishment. I have been doing better, but she gets some kind of masochistic joy out of poking the sadist and pointing out that she ca do what she likes because I won't follow through on it anyway. A couple of days ago Hds comes walking in while not sending me a text she was on her way home. After pointing this out, I grabbed her hand and began leading her to the bedroom.
Hds "Wait... no... where are we going?"
DV "To give you the punishment you have earned for not texting"
Hds "Wait... no... you can't do that!"
DV "Excuse me?!?!
Hds "I mean... the kids are home! Grandma will hear it! Don't wake up Grandma!"
DV "No the kids aren't home and Grandma is asleep." (as Hds is being bent over the bed)
DV "Trust me, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." (referring to my arm pain)
Hds "Damn that hurt!" (after receiving her 5 lashes with the belt)
DV "Isn't that the point? You're not supposed to like it! You need to be held accountable for your actions, or lack thereof!"
Hds "Yes Sir!"
I will be the first to admit I haven't been as good with following through with holding Hds accountable as I need to be. This has been part of the learning curve and us figuring out how to find our balance. I need to do better and have been trying to do better at being more of the Master she needs me to be... that I need to be for me. Least to say, my current health situation has not made this any easier. It's a daily struggle most of the time right now, and finding the energy, mentally or physically, or difficult. Yet, we will push through it and persevere. We will get there, or at least enjoy the Journey in trying to get there. Even if that means Hds tries to take advantage of my weakened state to do what she wishes, I have to suffer through punishing her and holding her accountable, and knowing that swinging the belt will hurt me more than it hurts her. In her defense, she really does not like to disobey, or certainly do it on purpose. She isn't the brat type, and for that I am thankful. She has been very good to me in trying to help and take care of me. This is a good thing, because there is much more to come!
~DV~
One of the rules I have with Hds is she is to text me when she gets to work in the morning so I know she made it safely. She is also to text me when heading home in the evenings so I know she is on the road and on her way. She has a bit of a drive and a fair amount of traffic to deal with, so it is somewhat a safety thing as well as my own peace of mind. Least to say she tends to forget at times. I have to ask if she made it to work. Or, she just comes walking in at home, which leads me to ask why she is home because I didn't even know she was on the road. She has even tried to be sneaky and text me from a block away and then she walks in the door just minutes later. This is usually a 30-45 minute drive depending on traffic, to which I say "nice try Hds" and her usual response is "well I did text you to let you know I was on my way home".
The punishment for not letting me know she is on the road is usually five whips with the belt (not the fun kind). Granted, I'm not always good with my follow-through on carrying out the punishment. I have been doing better, but she gets some kind of masochistic joy out of poking the sadist and pointing out that she ca do what she likes because I won't follow through on it anyway. A couple of days ago Hds comes walking in while not sending me a text she was on her way home. After pointing this out, I grabbed her hand and began leading her to the bedroom.
Hds "Wait... no... where are we going?"
DV "To give you the punishment you have earned for not texting"
Hds "Wait... no... you can't do that!"
DV "Excuse me?!?!
Hds "I mean... the kids are home! Grandma will hear it! Don't wake up Grandma!"
DV "No the kids aren't home and Grandma is asleep." (as Hds is being bent over the bed)
DV "Trust me, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." (referring to my arm pain)
Hds "Damn that hurt!" (after receiving her 5 lashes with the belt)
DV "Isn't that the point? You're not supposed to like it! You need to be held accountable for your actions, or lack thereof!"
Hds "Yes Sir!"
I will be the first to admit I haven't been as good with following through with holding Hds accountable as I need to be. This has been part of the learning curve and us figuring out how to find our balance. I need to do better and have been trying to do better at being more of the Master she needs me to be... that I need to be for me. Least to say, my current health situation has not made this any easier. It's a daily struggle most of the time right now, and finding the energy, mentally or physically, or difficult. Yet, we will push through it and persevere. We will get there, or at least enjoy the Journey in trying to get there. Even if that means Hds tries to take advantage of my weakened state to do what she wishes, I have to suffer through punishing her and holding her accountable, and knowing that swinging the belt will hurt me more than it hurts her. In her defense, she really does not like to disobey, or certainly do it on purpose. She isn't the brat type, and for that I am thankful. She has been very good to me in trying to help and take care of me. This is a good thing, because there is much more to come!
~DV~
1 comment:
In my defense...eh, I'm a slave, I don't have a defense. Life has been crazy the past few months, but things are settling down. Another trial that we held on to each other and came out the other end stronger for it. Serving and obedience are everything to me. I hate when I slip and disappoint you in my service. Punishment is hard enough, but knowing that it was physically painful for you eats me up even more. And yet, I thank you for loving me/us enough to remind me of my place so that I can grow and do better going forward.
I love you, Master!
Respectfully,
Your slave
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