March 2, 2016

No Clear Line (Q&A)...

The following questions were submitted by Misty for March Q&A.

1. Where's the line between an asshole and a dominant? Because, you know, when viewing from the outside that line may not be so clear.

I think this is a little bit subjective and in the eye of the beholder.  What one person sees as an asshole, another may see as a normal Dominant.  What one person sees as overbearing, another person may see as just what they need.  I don't know that I can adequately describe this.  Personally, I think there is a difference in being Dominant and being Domineering.  There is a difference in throwing around control and power because you feel you can, versus having that control and power and knowing how and when to use it.

Being Dominant is about being a good leader.  It's about being someone that is worth following and receiving submission.  It's about earning trust and respect.  It's about pushing and testing but staying within limits and boundaries.  Being Dominant is more about having self-control and staying in control than constantly wielding your imaginary Dominant sword.  It's about being worthy of having a sub kneel at your feet ready and needing to serve of her own desire because you have earned that place with her, as opposed to requiring or demanding it.  At least these are my own personal views, but that may be different for everyone.  There is no clear line as to what this may be, and it may be different for everyone.  You just have to find what works best for those involved.

2. Do you think it's important, or helpful in any way, to be part of a community--going to munches and such?

I do think it can be helpful to get to know others in your local community that are also into this lifestyle.  Many people can feel alone and like they are on an island unto themselves in this.  Having the vast expanse of the internet has helped link people together from all over the world, but actually meeting people close by, in the flesh, and developing actual friendships with like minded people is never a bad thing.  Most groups that I have seen are very laid back, casual, and open to people joining them.  Munches are a great way to start since they are in a casual and fairly vanilla atmosphere.  It give you a chance to meet people, talk about normal things as well as a little kink, and get a feel for others in this lifestyle.  IT's always interesting to me to meet other people into this and see how they go about their D/s and bdsm relationships.  So yes, I do think this can be helpful and a good thing to do.

3. If you had two weeks with the slave, no interruptions and a great supply of money, where would you go? What would you do? The sky is the limit. Don't be shy, give us some juicy details. ;)

Ummm... there are way to many options and not enough time to even touch this one.  But I can promise there would be a lot of debauchery going on.  :)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for answering them all!

    #1 The question popped in my head awhile back because my mom's step-dad was, I believe, domineering/asshole toward my grandma, when they were married. He drinks a lot though. Anyway, I'm not sure if my grandparents were kinky (frankly, I do NOT want to know! Lol), but after thinking back there was definitely some submitting and dominating going on. Perhaps you can only see the line when motives are made clear...

    #2 thanks for you thoughts!

    #3 Well, that's no fun for us! Lol. Though "a lot of debauchery" leaves plenty of room for the imagination. ;)