I was talking with my wife the other night (who is not into this scene for those that don't know that), and she started telling me about this book she was reading. She said it was like any other book until...she got to a particular chapter. (I can't remember if she said chapter 3 or 8) Then the look on her face changed and she said "I had to stop and look to see if I was still reading the same book or if I was on your blog." LOL! All of a sudden things went BDSM apparently, and it caught her off guard.
Any guess on the book?
Yep, turns out she was reading "Fifty Shades of Grey". This book seems to be getting a lot of attention lately, and has hit Main Street with full force. It has been on several talk shows. I have seen several blogs posts mentioning lately as well. It is being read by our community as well as vanilla America. It appears to be the acceptable version of women's erotica (porn), and an introduction to so many people about this lifestyle. It even got a whole article unto itself in the New York Times (see article here - a good read), where this book is referred to as "Mommy Porn" and "Twilight for grownups". The book is "introducing women who usually read run-of-the-mill literary or commercial fiction to graphic, heavy-breathing erotica" One part of the article even says... “What I found fascinating is that there are all these supermotivated, smart, educated women saying this was like the greatest thing they’ve ever read,” said Meg Lazarus, a 38-year-old former lawyer in Scarsdale".
The funny part about my wife is she said she has no desires whatsoever to do any of those things, which I already knew, but I looked at her and said..."But it turned you on didn't it?" Maybe it was just the book, maybe it was the acts themselves, but on some level she knew she was aroused. That didn't mean she wants to try it, but it touched her in some way. Apparently it is touching a lot of people and making them look more at something they may have avoided previously.
So, this makes one wonder how many people out there will read this and get a better understanding of BDSM? How many people will be even more turned off by it? How many people will hide the hidden desires they find themselves having about BDSM? Will be BDSM become more acceptable in the public view? There are a lot of questions, and no real way to measure the answers. Whatever the answers may be, it has brought this lifestyle to the forefront more than anything else in recent times. Whether that is good for this community or bad remains to be seen. We can all hope that it is a good thing in the end, but the feel so far is that it is a good thing.
(For the record, I have not read the book)
Any guess on the book?
The funny part about my wife is she said she has no desires whatsoever to do any of those things, which I already knew, but I looked at her and said..."But it turned you on didn't it?" Maybe it was just the book, maybe it was the acts themselves, but on some level she knew she was aroused. That didn't mean she wants to try it, but it touched her in some way. Apparently it is touching a lot of people and making them look more at something they may have avoided previously.
So, this makes one wonder how many people out there will read this and get a better understanding of BDSM? How many people will be even more turned off by it? How many people will hide the hidden desires they find themselves having about BDSM? Will be BDSM become more acceptable in the public view? There are a lot of questions, and no real way to measure the answers. Whatever the answers may be, it has brought this lifestyle to the forefront more than anything else in recent times. Whether that is good for this community or bad remains to be seen. We can all hope that it is a good thing in the end, but the feel so far is that it is a good thing.
(For the record, I have not read the book)
from what i have read about the book.. it seems to summarize "his" feelings of dominance and control as something he need to "get cured from" as if he is damaged .. because of that i feel it may put BDSM in a negative light.. as much as it is turning on the soccer moms
ReplyDelete-sugar
I agree with sugar. I read the first two and toward the middle of the second one I started getting upset because his need to be dominant was an ailment to be cured...not just a part of who he is as a strong, sexy, successful man. What I liked most about the first one was the contract idea. He had set expectations as did she. I wish Ana could have just relaxed and enjoyed his control. Overall though I loved reading them. I wish Christian Grey was real!
DeleteI read a portion of all three of the books written and found that they are a watered down version of true bdsm. They are the equivelant of bdsm romance novels but I have read much better ones. The reason these seem to be so popular is because there is more of a story to follow.
ReplyDeleteHe's rich, she's just an ordinary girl, they fall in love and get married. All the true marking of a trashey romance novel but with a little vanilla bdsm thrown in for interest.
They are acceptable to read because they aren't graphically detailed, it pushes the vanilla boundarie just enough for the imagination to run wild.
Definately an enjoyable read for those who want a little flavor in their romance novels. My tastes run a little deeper for authors like Melinda Barron, Cherise Sinclair, Dominique Adair, Anne O'Connell, Mc Kenzie Cooper.
My first reaction to this is that it reminds me of when 9 1/2 Weeks came out. It was, for some, the first introduction into BDSM. It wasn't, in hindsight, a great movie, but it certainly gained widespread appeal and had a following of people who may not admit that it turned their crank, so to speak. I have heard of this book and am interested. I may download it onto my nook today. It's rainy. : )
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments and insight ladies. That is good information for others as to more of what the book may entail. I have no doubt that it will seem watered down compared to what we all write, experience, and read. I guess my hope is that it will gain enough acceptance to enable some of those that are on the fence or hiding to accept this and come into the light. Maybe that is just wishful thinking, but if it convinces some people to try this, instead of hiding or running from it, then that is the kind of positive effect we should hope for.
ReplyDeleteDV
DV,
DeleteI agree.. I did not think of it that way .. it may just be the opening for some to "come out" so to speak
-sugar
I read the first book after hearing all the raving about it, i dont see it as being about bdsm, its a funny romantic story with an attempt at kink thrown in which doesnt go anywhere.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the annoymous comment about why does there seem to be this need to associate bdsm with someone having mental issues...the film Secratary was the same in my mind.
It was however a well written book but on a D/s bdsm level it didnt sit too well with me, i found the 'dominant' character more of a control freak than dominant and i believe there is a difference.
tori
Were is the "like" button on this thing?!
ReplyDeletetor's (painspleasure) comment was spot on...The whole blushing, flushing, and blanching gets old, really really old after reading it paragraph after paragraph...The main character's "inner goddess" pole vaulting or whatever...is just over-used and too LIzzy McGuire (very poor kid situation comedy on Disney in the 90's -- When Lucy's daughter was little) for mouse....
It's probably a good idea mouse is forbidden from discussing the book with vanilla people...But will be interesting to see what the (vanilla) book club people all think when we meet in a couple weeks.
Hugs,
mouse
I have not read the book but judging from the comments here I would say that any book which opens the world of BDSM and D/s to the vanilla world is a good thing. I have found throughout my journey that there are many men who have an interest but had no idea how to go about fulfilling their fantasies. Although this book is a watered down version of our lifestyle, it might take this kinder approach to bdsm and D/s in order for people to even consider experimenting. If we hit them with something like The Story of O they might run away in fear and disgust over a lifestyle they don't fully understand. If this book can do that, it has to be worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteRose